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`~**My Piano**~` :Fiya
<*~My Piano~*> finger-tips tappin’ piano keys, playing a simple symphony it’s my speech without words somehow I know you hear me I C-major chords i would relate to A-minor note and song metronome tick fa my time signature but time takes too long see it’s one thing to have visions to fortell one’s tragedy it;s another to be close to the person like ebony and ivory how should I enjoy tellin’ Nia “ya friend will be murdered”?!! i couldn’t given the fact: words don’t talk, i’m likely 2 hurt her Chopin’s Etude n Mozart Salute took my eyes from the window... call me crazy but this my forte stepped up in full crescendo!! this is Beethoven’s challenge, he rollin’ twice in his grave death is my sight of habit, deaf ears but i’m still tryna save! dear mama how could a gift so good make my mind bleed? Lord God if this is my call, then this ya daughter in need... in the blink of an eye the last notes makes the string pop it’s not a piano, it’s a life-line, sometimes i want it to STOP... or take it easy on me__ ~Based on a true story~ *This my dedication to Nia’s friend, T. and my late Grandpa, A. You two please R.I.P. ... This whole poem is an extended-metaphor the piano being both an instrument and my mind/soul.. If you got comments, then drop a note please... Thanx fa hearin’ me... ~Special thanx to Mixtape, Triple N, and my guy<-the first to know the real ‘me’ and supportin’ me, thanx y’all.... |
nice shit ma this is ya boy trase that's rite baby wink wink lol that was some good shit nice to read i was feelin it pc ma
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now, y'all know i ain't a poet! but uhmm thanx Trase...
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your welcome but it's legacy now and u did good at poetry betta than 80% of these other cats big up's ma pc
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that poem really touch me, it's really really nice way to go girl
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thanx, FlipSix...
~wun~ |
that was a beautiful piece very touching and I felt it....................
check out my poetic scripture links in my siggy... |
That Is A Good Poem Gurl Keep On Writing The Things You Do Cause You Got Talent
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i was really feeling that poem
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still uppin' fa feedback ppl..!
just fiya. ~wun~ |
That was nice Missfiya.I wish I was poetic & could write some nice poetry like that.But poetry just don't seem to be in my bones.....but that was nice gurl,keep it coming.
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i don't think that was poetry, it was more like a true story.. but thank you very much, ~the Star~ ur a very good femcee, i ain't afraid to admit that.. thanx fa the feedback.
Mo' Feedback ppls.. ~wun~ |
I agree... Felt more like a quick snapshot of your life, and you wrote it out in rhyme. Only thing I didnt like was the first "bar" should have ben "hearin' me" instead of hear me. LOL. Sorry - dont mean to be anal, but just flowed better in my mind. Gave a good pic of what you were talking about though - this was nice. I'm mos def stoppin in here more often - ya'll got some talent in the poetry section. Even if it's not poetry but written thought.
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thanx Phenom-in-All, <hope i spelled that right, i notice that too with the first bar but i didn't want it to flow, i wanted the readers to feel like it was occurrin' in the present but not still happenin' so i left it as "hear me" but i know whut you meant..
thanx, y'all make me feel like writin' sumthin' else.. i wasn't gonna post this at first, thanx ppl! Mo' Feedback, I like this! ~wun~ |
Twas really nice. A large metaphor nicley played out. Very emotional and you kept the rhyming good. Props to your piece and sorry for the losses.
Return the favor? http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=135850 |
sry, i took long i had to argue wit' LaTiN-bitch cuz she SPOOKED anywayz thanx LoT..
i'll hit that up fa ya later, aight .. nice sig, i like knuckles< that's the nigga! lol ~wun~ |
yea ma i felt dat shit u shouldnt b so down on ya self so far all ive seen in ur writing is da breaths of a tru poet keep postin wanna see more ur skill at work holla
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^thanx
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this was very good and an emotional piece, this would make a good song verse, you have beautiful imagery in your words.......keep it up.....
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^ thank you very much fluidmoon, i apreciate the feedback..
thanx |
that was nice and it was real keep writtin trueshit and keep ya head up props due
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