Sporadic Vs ibraheem (Topical)
 

10 Line MIN anything over 10 lines is ok
No crew votes
No Dick Riding
Well explained
Good Luck

The topic of choice is about september the 11th!!!!

I rush to the car shit im late little did i know fate had something up its sleeve
deaths got me caught like a spider
...in its souless cobweb weave
Put my foot to the gas peddle damn i hope i dont get FIRED
im tired my heads pounding from going on the piss
...cant stop i have no time to sit and reminice
i finally get there put money in the meter for my 10 hours
as i looked at my future grave
...the place i work the twin towers
I hope they dont sack me and they havent found someone to replace
i work on the top floor but later im going further
...to the gates in the highest place
i rush to my seat hoping nobody will see me and detect
looking at me harshly with no respect
...like a murder suspect
i get on with my work quietly franticly typing i gotta job to protect
HOLY SHIT someone screams theres a plane
...coming right at the tower direct
BANG its like an earthquake the shake and impact is immense
a cold hearted sucide bomb attack
...so wheres our fucking department of defence?
I brush past people to seek my surival salvation
but nobody could get past the inferno
...so they jumped out windows with no hesitation
two choices stay here and wait to be cremated alive
or take my last trip down through the window
...and take my last dive
i take the dive memories flash past as i plunge to my death
last words to my loved ones with a whisper "i love you"
..with my very last breath

Good luck

For me as a theorist on political judgments/
I will raise some questions about the 911 segments/
Businesses corrupted and billions of dollars lost/
All that aint shit for the thousands of life’s it cost /
Four planes highjacked for two hours what the fuck/
Is that how much the American air force suck/
It aint that trust me its people who worship the buck/
See politions giving speeches like its a damn carnival/
Killing innocent lives then marching in the funerals/
I got an idea that I would like you to join/
Thinking GW Bush and binladin 2 different faces of the same coin/
Thinking people are stupid lets blame it all on taliban/
When two wars legalised and share prices went down/
Its funny when you look at the world from the truth lens/
911 is like an idiot blown his car with his kids 2 get insurance/

peace

shit miss spelled politicians on the 8th line
dont hold it against me

rite let gets some votes in this shit..i will return the votes on your battles dont let this ish sleep

upping this theard...give us some votes..u cunts!!!

breakdown...................

sporadic........
... u came nice... kinda simplistic rhymes.. but u stressed teh topic good ..staying focused throughout your verse..... you explained it well.... it was atleast drawling a picture in my head..... i liked it.... you kinda stratched some lines though... but for the most part flow was on....

Ibraheem- you had real nice multis... keeping the verse with a nice flow... but again u kinda streatched your bars out to.....you seem to have more of the 'battle mind set... dun worry i do the same in topicals..... im just saying u need to fovus more on drawling a picture......k

my vote- Sporadic.....

liked the mental picture.... nice steady flow for the most part...

i took the time.. so boht of u should take the time...... and drop a vote on this....

http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=136489

^ thanks.....

keep progressin boys

wrong link...

drop a vote here...

http://community.rapbattles.com/sho...600#post1426600

upping............................................

i feel what you saying man but you dont have to spit a story on topicals its a topic that you have to represent safe for the advise though i will keep it in mind

upiing did theard!!..dont forget to poll ur votes..vote will be returned

Upping^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

upping 2 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

upping this theard dont let this rest ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Sporadic: Spordaics verse was much more in depth.. very well written... could picture your self in his shoes in tha story....had more details and still flowed well.... very nice..

[i]inbraheem:[I] Inbraheem also had an ok verse but wasnt as good as spor'z....tho inbra flowed nice in some parts spor took it for the way he wrote it..... all in all spor got this..

V- Spor

i like sporadics flow a lil better
i felt wut both of u were sayin
but i felt sporadics a lil more
so he got my vote

oh ye almost 4got
vote 4 deez battles
amayze vs 2hard2lose
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=136487

murda-gram
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=136506

forgotten flow
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=136031

novakane
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=136749

peace

AMAYZE i would'v returned the favor if you had a better explained vote there is much than feeling the verse that you can talk about
with respect
upping
peace

upping this theard..some more explained votes plzzz

upping this theard i will return the vote into ur battles pz

vote and leave a line and i will hit you back on your battles

upping

vote and leave a link and i will hit you back on your battles

upping

wow nice battle guys........

ok sporadic = your structure to start with was great, really made it easy for the reader to get it, also the flow helped this as well and was nearly perfect....dont think you fell off at any part in the piece!! rite now the writers voice for me is the most important part of a topical battle and you potrayed it in a way that made me stay glued to my screen...you described the actions and emotion great!! vocab was there, nicely worded!! really good piece man!!

Fav part =

i take the dive memories flash past as i plunge to my death
last words to my loved ones with a whisper "i love you"
..with my very last breath

^^ great last line

Ibraheem = also wow, your structure was different to sporadics, but still near perfect, and your flow WAS perfect....you couldnt of got it better if you tryed. ok your writers voice came out nice, the way you blamed the goverment and showed that Bust and bin laden aint that different!! i liked the contrast!! didnt think you had as much emotion as sporadic but still real nice!!

Fave line = I got an idea that I would like you to join/
Thinking GW Bush and binladin 2 different faces of the same coin/

^^ good contrast

So really nice topical battle both of you, but i think i'm going with sporadic, just on the fact that he explained a like jorney instead of writing facts!! but both of you props!!

Vote Sporadic


HIT UP MY POEM........... WHITE DOVE - MY PRAYER

PZ

finish it!!!!....want to get up to 5 wins so i get out ov this herb infested front lines

vote and leave a link and i will hit you back on your battles

upping

need some votes leave a link i will hit you back on your battles with an honest vote

upping

need some votes leave a link i will hit you back on your battles with an honest vote

upping

upping da theard...finish it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yo im a have to go wit ibraheem, shit wat he said was real that i could feel, he did stick yo the topic, like sparadic but went different ways in goin about it
sparadic took me on a journey, a little more wordplay would of had the audience attention

vote ibraheem

good topic also, that shitts serious
aight ni99as
1

ok whatever..thought tha was weak feedback well anyways..upping this theard

VOTE!!!..upping, bumping this theard..will return the favour

sporidac verse was hotter then ibrahims cuz it was more better put toghther ibraheem was good too but he was a little too political and not enough on the events that took place that day basically great topic but neither steped up how they should of.my vote goes to sporadic.


vote in my battles with killa and daillest

caliph