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FlOw InTeLLiGeNt Vs. MaNiPuLaTiOn [Topical]
Rules:
20 Lines Min 30 Lines Max No Crew Hate D/R Votes First To 5 Votes Wins Or 3-0 KO Verses Due 24 Hrs After This Thread Was Made 100 Posts To Vote Topic: Your A Sniper Describe Your Actions |
chkin in..............................................
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here goes..HONEST votes peeps.
Dessolate landscape, dust an hellfire sounds ?Crys, screams and bloodstains spoil the granite ground Stones crack, startled by onslaught of advancing tanks I find myself scurrying...for cover behind broken fence planks Alone, scared without freind,,thoughts of my distant lover *STOP*..ive gotta pull together..i must take alternate cover Head peeks out, i turn...eyes locked on adjacent door Without hesitation, i crawl, scurry on bloodstained floor Enemy turns back..i gasp..leap for contact with door handle *TWIST*...im in, eyes fixed on room lit with only candle Instinctively i rise..race toeards and up stair flight No time for hesitation..i need nerves of steel tonight Find myself alone,sweat pouring as i creep on church tower Press myself against the wall..in an unpragmatic cower Eyes flicker through broken bricks..my target is already pre-picked Rifle leaves back for hand..not phazed by the dusty mist A quick prayer,hope...as i take hand to gun eye to scope Red berret,down below..i must put hault to his swift elope Trigger to finger,nerves now twisting my intestines up One final prayer for luck..i must now hurry precedings up As trigger snaps shut..mettalic click fills my head on this dark night Time moves slow..i can almost see, the bullets twist in flight Quiet whoosh...as metal tears through victims skin to head Encased in his brain cold lead..no noise as he now lays..dead Time ticks..strange but no guilt as before in my head remains This is war, ive changed..i just feel no emotions...no pain Rifle re-placed in back..calmly i proceed down the steps Only thought on my mind is...who will be my victim next |
2 hours left flow............
jus remindin ya......... |
Location: Brooklyn, New York...On A nearby rooftop kneels a fully camoflauged man....he plants his sniper rifle on the rooftop and scopes in on a female walking down the street. Time: 12: 31 AM. Objective: Kill her, no matter what. On a cell to Mob Boss ME Tony, she just left the candy-store Tony Well, grab her skull, i demand-the-whore My eye focuses through the lens, as I splash on my war paints I gotta do the job just right and watch as that whore faints She moved....I track her like a mueslim on hebrews I have no feelings for victims there just see-through My thoughts re-group, shift my body and put the scope on her head About to Rope her with lead..leave her distressed like a pope in his bed I aim close to her heart but instead move to the top of her head pull the trigger slowly...one perfect shot...and she fell down dead A crowd rushes to her side, as the woman faints, Police scramble on the rooftop from all directions, as I realize I've been set up Reached for the glock in my hand, shoved a sock in that cop man The police approached I scrambled Decided not to drop but stop stand I manage to pick off 7 policemen, and run to a nearby gas station, where i sit with an automatic pistol clasped in my hands, my cell rings, It's Tony ME Fuck you! Thats just low, to be set up by a crime boss TONY Wat are you saying kid? It's not like there was time lost ME I got set up, almost wet up like puppies in water Cops surrounded me but they rushed to a slaughter The cell dies out, Cop cars surround me with nowhere left to run, i strap C4 to my body...You can guess.. I ran to the tops of buildings a cop dropped i killed him Like satanic juice makers i had to stop to peel him Gas Station Explodes, As the dust settles, nothing but a soot drenched man emerges from the dust...His name flow It was worth the pain, I mean, I scored a victim, fuck the burns and flames Crossing the rooftops I softly drift away...As the fire, turns to rain |
nice drop...............
uppin 4 vote on this tight-ass topical..... |
min verse:
Dessolate landscape, dust an hellfire sounds Crys, screams and bloodstains spoil the granite ground Stones crack, startled by onslaught of advancing tanks I find myself scurrying...for cover behind broken fence planks Alone, scared without freind,,thoughts of my distant lover *STOP*..ive gotta pull together..i must take alternate cover nice meta a good creative flow nice vocab while nicely paintin a picture in my head, good Head peeks out, i turn...eyes locked on adjacent door Without hesitation, i crawl, scurry on bloodstained floor Enemy turns back..i gasp..leap for contact with door handle *TWIST*...im in, eyes fixed on room lit with only candle Instinctively i rise..race toeards and up stair flight No time for hesitation..i need nerves of steel tonight nicely switchin the mood with a good flow creative lines and well explaining the sceenery plus the reader get a feel on you emotions good... Find myself alone,sweat pouring as i creep on church tower Press myself against the wall..in an unpragmatic cower Eyes flicker through broken bricks..my target is already pre-picked Rifle leaves back for hand..not phazed by the dusty mist A quick prayer,hope...as i take hand to gun eye to scope Red berret,down below..i must put hault to his swift elope nice multis at the end makeing the read better, still nice vocab and great creative lines this is real good so far... Trigger to finger,nerves now twisting my intestines up One final prayer for luck..i must now hurry precedings up As trigger snaps shut..mettalic click fills my head on this dark night Time moves slow..i can almost see, the bullets twist in flight Quiet whoosh...as metal tears through victims skin to head Encased in his brain cold lead..no noise as he now lays..dead still good, nicely painting a picture in my head still of whats going on.... Time ticks..strange but no guilt as before in my head remains This is war, ive changed..i just feel no emotions...no pain Rifle re-placed in back..calmly i proceed down the steps Only thought on my mind is...who will be my victim next nice ending nice flow nice creative lines nicely showing whats happening at that point in time nicely multis to spice up the read good emotion shows and a movies was fourm from start till end in my head great piece here... 9.5 outta 10 cant front i loved it.... NEXT...... Location: Brooklyn, New York...On A nearby rooftop kneels a fully camoflauged man....he plants his sniper rifle on the rooftop and scopes in on a female walking down the street. Time: 12: 31 AM. Objective: Kill her, no matter what. On a cell to Mob Boss ME Tony, she just left the candy-store Tony Well, grab her skull, i demand-the-whore ^^ getting the idea and picture started good, My eye focuses through the lens, as I splash on my war paints I gotta do the job just right and watch as that whore faints She moved....I track her like a mueslim on hebrews I have no feelings for victims there just see-through My thoughts re-group, shift my body and put the scope on her head About to Rope her with lead..leave her distressed like a pope in his bed nice flow, good meta, and creative lines... I aim close to her heart but instead move to the top of her head pull the trigger slowly...one perfect shot...and she fell down dead A crowd rushes to her side, as the woman faints, Police scramble on the rooftop from all directions, as I realize I've been set up Reached for the glock in my hand, shoved a sock in that cop man The police approached I scrambled Decided not to drop but stop stand I manage to pick off 7 policemen, and run to a nearby gas station, where i sit with an automatic pistol clasped in my hands, my cell rings, It's Tony good flow still creative lines i still got a picture in my head nice... ME Fuck you! Thats just low, to be set up by a crime boss TONY Wat are you saying kid? It's not like there was time lost ME I got set up, almost wet up like puppies in water Cops surrounded me but they rushed to a slaughter The cell dies out, Cop cars surround me with nowhere left to run, i strap C4 to my body...You can guess.. I ran to the tops of buildings a cop dropped i killed him Like satanic juice makers i had to stop to peel him good line here, still good flow Gas Station Explodes, As the dust settles, nothing but a soot drenched man emerges from the dust...His name flow It was worth the pain, I mean, I scored a victim, fuck the burns and flames Crossing the rooftops I softly drift away...As the fire, turns to rain nice ending, nice flow, good lines, slightly easyer to read the story was good as-well, the ending was crazy i dont know how he lived but then again its u'r story ha... good shit... 9.2 this gave me a headach to read and vote cuz honestly i loved both of them alot.... my vote: MaNiPuLaTiOn |
uppin for honest well explained votes......
votes will b returned. |
Manip-nice metas, multis, structure n flow, all was on lock and stayed on topic, i really enjoyed your verse
Flow-nice metas, multis, structure n flow also, everything was tight for both of your battles and i enjoyed them both very much V/Flow Intelligent for more descriptive about the snipers action, hit me with feedback on my open mic "Goin Crazy'" in my sig, thank you... |
upin.............................................. ....
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Quote:
why this person vote on all your battles?i see a dr!!!! :cussing: |
yo man had a good hard verse but way too fucking long and originality was trash a sniper in the army not original.flow was good as well as structure and i liked the story but the lenghth killed it.8/10better vocab too
flow good flow and struture your originality was real good a hitman and i liked the story too not to long and good shit .your verses were a tie in strenghth but flow gets my vote cuz of his originality. |
fukin wanker^^^^^^^^yo flow thats a hate vote 4 real..damn..he bin bitchin at me 4 dayz.
u cnt say 2 long...28 lines the limit woz 30. u cnt say it was trash...the topic was bout a sniper.....damn man fukin herbs,that sux for real. |
Vote Dont Count But He Has The Right To Say It's Trash 1-1...I'll Get The Vote Deleted
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^^^aiight thanx.nice to see some mature peeps on this site.
respect |
FLOW: IT WAS A PRETTY DRAMATIC PIECE.. I LIKED THE ACTION ANDF ALSO THE PHONE CALL. I LIKED THE VERY BEGINNING ALSO WHERE YOU DESCIBED YOUR SURROUNDINGS.. BUT SOME MISTAKE.. SINCE WHEN DO SNIPERS USE GLOCKS OR PISTOLS.. A HIGH POWER, LONG DISTANCE ASSAULT RIFLE WOULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE FOR A SNIPER, AND WHEN YOU SAID PISTOL, HONESTLY, THAT THREW ME OFF OF THE WHOLE STORY. IT WASN'T REALISTIC ANYMORE..
MANIPULATION.. VERY GOOD DESCTRPTION OF WHAT'S GOING ON.. I LIKED THE FACT THAT I WAS IN THIS GUYS HEAD AND WAS ALMOST STANDING NEXTY TO HIM.. I LIKE HOW HE JUST PICKED HIS VICTIM OFF, AND CALMLY WALKED DOWN THE STAIRS.. WHAT SAVED YOU, IS THE MISTAKE THAT FLOW MADE.. YOU ATLEAST MENSIONED A SCOPE, AND RIFLE.. ALSO THE DESCIPTION WAS IN A LOT OF WAYS BETTER.. SO MY VOTE GOES TO MANIPULATION.. THIS WAS A LONG BATTLE TO READ AND REPLY TO, CAN YOU PLEASE RETURN THE FAVOR WITH AN HONEST VOTE IN MY BATTLE? THANK U.. http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=138974 |
Quote:
DON'T TRIP, HE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE^.... |
uppin............................................. .
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Caliph...i voted on her battle yah...but did i vote for her? no..so is that d/r? no stfu before i murder your bitch ass
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Quote:
bitch you voted for her on every battle she been in yous a dick rider and a sniper in the military no originality at all the only thing worse wouldve been you as john muhammad.he beat you fair and square he had better originality slut everytime you get voted aganist you post afterwords complaining bitch if you so nice why you aint got a deal? :laugh: exactly!!! :laugh: |
wtf r u rattling on about?............
i never complain wen i get voted against.... but wen sumone comes n drops a hate vote in a tight battle..yeh i will complain.. justify aint d/r me....hes voted in 2 of my battles..once 4 me and once against.. that aint d/r fool. as or your stupid comments. a/who the fuck is john mohammed? b/u hvnt got a place to talk bout my verse cos ur wack. c/hve u got a deal?..i think not!. d/all votes in here r from respectable peeps...(apart from u) jus go away and die. |
upp............................................... .
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Ok Enough Freeposting Uppin For Votes...:thumbup:
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ahh,both good drops,manipulation i liked your verse for the fluent imagry,some lines kinda threw me off like the were worded a bit wierd but your plot was koo..this is hard ta compare these 2 cause you both came with tottally different styles...flow your verse was nice but i was'nt feeling the continues break in the ryme plot when you'd explain the situation"the bold text"...i vote was determined ta who brought the story their life more..flow you had coo comparisons the whole verse threw like refering to the pope,n others...manip,you were brutally consistent in your imagery of topic...this was tough though...im gonna go with manipulation in this cause she expressed more emotion n had a consistent image throughout without explaining the situation or breaking away from a ryme scheme...props ta both mc's..nice job
VOTE/MANIPULATION please hit my topical up..... http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=139167 |
holy fuck IE you lit it up you got my vote for everything that was the best ever ive heard
Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
o rank i thought he was rapping haha
well flows got it then the other guy had nothin on me |
uppin 4 explained votes.............................
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manip could you return the favour on my topical^^^ since i took the time ta drop a honest vote on this...id appreciate it since your a topical head...pc
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^no probs............
upp........................ |
uppin............................................. ...
i will return the favour a.s.a.p.......... plz can we get sum votes......... |
I gotta give props to both... that was some good shyt... F.I. did the whole MaxPayne story line type of deal that added a different feel to the battle. It was almost set up like one of those old skool movies...
MaN... Ya whole joint was fire... This was prolly one of the best reads i've seen so far... very descriptive... nice word usage... i can see the images as you described them... that helped a lot... stayed on topic... realistic F.I. ... Like I said, I like what you brought to the battle.... Ya joint was hot, too. I agree with the other dude, though, that said you kinda slipped when you started talkin about glocks and stuff... but still it wasn't a bad drop... stay focused on the whole sniper deal and your shyt's golden... v/Manip |
Vote manipulation.
both were dope as fuck and on some good storry tellin shit, like the whole topic of this Flow intel, liked the whole phone call into and schem of your verse I was feelin the conetnt in Manips a lil more, he had more of a deeper story and kept the whole thing dope through out |
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