A Letter 2 Heaven
Dear God....i send dis 2 a soul enlightened
I been sayin my prayers...but i had 2 put dis n writin could u send dis 2 my guard'n angel if dats alright da one dat use 2 tuck me in late at night da only parent dat taught me wrong from right pops wasn't dere so moms had 2 make da green i cried da day i saw da blue line across da screen I was enrage...but still I stood my ground And i know she would be proud cuz i'm outta hood now I'm found....moms always wanted me 2 go 2 church so i make it every sunday just 2 put in my worth and it hurt...visitin ya grave every day so i write dis letter cuz i got so much 2 say anyway...i bet u wonder how is ya son he still hard headed runin round wit a gun da streets is so hot so i had 2 get one I'm done...i guess ya lil girl don kno what 2 say yeah i do...much love and rest in peace MRS. J LOVE U MA! (Mrs. J) |
nice shit gurl!! I'm feelin this one. Nice flow and structure. 7/10 keep spittin!!
check out my battle PLEASE!!! http://community.rapverse.com/showb...189#post1459189 ~1~ |
sry bout yo moms n ya dad not bein there nice drop i can relate a 100% keep doin ya thing babyg irl n keep ya head up mami holla back
|
thanks....oh and i will! Don forget 2 get at me papi!
|
i wont mami dont forget 2 hit me up n peep my new shit...shit fire tellin nuttin but truth
but plz dont tell manip tellin da truth in dat new drop u made pm me 2 answer peace keep droppin stay up |
damn just lookin back ova my old shit.....forgot about dis damn song!
|
its a old one doe...but thanks fa da feed back
|
This a different kind of drop because it's a letter rather than a verse, so obviously things like wordplay are metas are missing. The content is simple, but meaningful, some deeper things were said sort of nonchalantly. i.e. "anyway...i bet u wonder how is ya son
he still hard headed runin round wit a gun" you could've elaborated a little as to why he had a gun. I understand that you don't want to tell your mom details, but it was too nonchalant. Nice drop overall, i would rate it a 4/10 |
thanks fa ya feed back (was a old song) but thanks
|
i liked this, it was different, sounded good when said aloud, sorry to hear about what happened and all, but remember God loves you and is there if you need Him.
|
this was actually pretty decent. i was impressed wit ya flow out of everything, there seemed to be some good emotion in there. altogether but this ish was pretty hot. i give it an 8/10 ..holla at me return the favor. links are in the sig.....
|
i only just got around to readin this piece.
I thought this was real deep. plenty of emotion in there. 10/10 for content cos dependin on the kinda person you are this might have been really hard for you to put this up. so respect for that one peace yo can you hit up some of my OM pieces cos they gettin slept on. i'll RTF |
a nice, emotional piece right here alot of imagery, vocab was on point liked it alot ..keep writing
|
decent read short and you were lackin emotion but overall it was decent you had a nice strucuture cud up yo vocab ive seen betta from you so i kno you can do betta den this keep droppin 5/10
|
nice lil drop shawty... i did one sumn like this to my pops a while back..he died 2 years ago so i'm familiar with ya pain... maybe one day i'll start writing again.... i'm taking a break cuz of kats on this site.... a lot of them don't appreciate anyone's work unless it's they own... you keep doing what you doing and take care of that lil girl...as for ya brother, he gon' hafta find his own way... hopefully before it's too late... there's a lot of shyt going on out there in the streets... i went back home to visit before i got sent to iraq only to find out that my friends were either dead from being in the streets, locked up, or still messing round in the streets... same shyt they were doing when i left... it's sad, cuz they my boyz...but i moved on and can't be part of that...
anyways... nice for an old joint... the letter style you dropped ain't used a lot here though i have seen it other places... real personal..like a real conversation... the flow changed here and there ..you had 3 lines rhyming at times and then switched back to a 2 line rhyme...but it actually worked somehow in this piece... i'd give it about 6.5 outta 10....only cuz it's old and kats have been dropping more organized pieces than this... but if it were based solely on ya personal attachment to it and ya emotion i'd have scored it higher...werd |
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:18 PM. |