Prodigy Vs. Willa Wonka
Rules:
Check In Due Sunday Verse Due Tuesday Votes Dye Thursday 20 Lines Min 30 Lines Max No Crew Hate D/R Votes 3-0 TKO 4-1 KO First To 5 Votes Write About This Picture |
Checking In...
This Is Willy Wonka... Check The IP's, Thats My Alias... Im Not Useing It Anymore Though... .One. |
Lololmao, I'm A Freestyle Poet...
Here's My Drop, I Just Finished Keystyling It... Enjoy, And Good Luck Prod... .One. No, Noooo, STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE! Noo, No Pleeeeeeeease! Just Stop IIIIIIIIIIIT! I CANT FUCKING HANDLE THIS PRESSURE! *Sitting Ina Mental Instatution* With my thoughts scattered in such a dessarea what am I to do? My burdens girth grows of a weight forwich my shoulders no longer can hold or push threw Pushed back and forth, I the rope to this game of tug-a-war between the sane and insane And in times past this piece of rope belittle to thread has been shattered as if glass from pain (Window Pane) The fragle mindset for wich I rest broken never to be placed into a formation supassing the abstract moment This mind of such brilliance trapt within its self with nothing more then time when all I wish for is the few seconds of choice wasted in on the past's shelf No, Noooo, STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE! Noo, No Pleeeeeeeease! Just Stop IIIIIIIIIIIT! WHY WONT THESE VISIONS JUST GO AWAY! *Flashing Back To A Past Event* Holding my mothers hand as if a brace to a cripple In my inocents the visions blurred within my perefrial was such a frighting scene for wich I stood in the middle I hold my mothers hand titer because she was my security in a world of such curruption and stife Walking by, my mother see's a co-worker, to me he looks like just another seedy criminal type She tells me to wait as she goes to talk over some buisness Waching my mother speak I grasp my self titely amist this Turned and faced the other direction because I was told to watch my back Feel so alone at this moment, a lost boy in a place where only a man could survive it's grasp Then suddenly a ear piercing sound shattered my thoughts As I looked around I saw my mother laying on the ground entangled in shots Her once peaceful yet vibrent face was now filled with strife and the color of death As I broke down into tears, as strand by strand the threads to this rope were so violently ripped away by each breath No, Noooo, STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE! Noo, No Pleeeeeeeease! Just Stop IIIIIIIIIIIT! WHY CANT I ESCAPE THE PAST! *Re-gains Conciousness In A Violent Sweat* My past once again strangling my attemps to procede with my life As I attemp to slip into my own thought once again, but this time to find peace in the light Into the darkest spots of my mentals I reach out to a quiet oasis in a dessert of angst My place of tranquillity where my pain in the form of water still yet beating at my freedoms pace A place rapped in a orange hase to keep my thoughts from sinking into another dark depression Were cotton clouds just barely brace the weight of my painful pasts re-runining sessions As I take form, myself the rocks but not by choice The one aspect I could not re-arange because not even I couldn't make my mind believe I could ever move from my current posistion filling these voids But here I sit just waiting for my own demonds to break through serenity voice. |
Would Have Been Hotter If You Made It Rhyme That Would Help A Bit
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But Poetry Doesnt Have To...
Lol Bastards, Everyone Says Something Diffrent... Aaaaah Criticism, Ya Gotta Love It... .One. |
O I Know But Some People Might Vote On The Fact That Yours Dont Rhyme And Your Opponents Verse Might Rhyme
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What Do You Mean...
My Verse Does Rhym... Maybe You Didnt Look Close Enough... .One. |
This is Prodigy check,,..
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Sands of Time
I can smell the salt lingering in the air, the waves braking against the shore Brings back distant memories, this place I have been before “There wasn’t any clouds last time” I can remember a bright glaze Like a lazy object over the ocean I remember we always lazed I thought I would come back as I’m coming to my final days The happy memories I once had, I want to relive my younger days The wind is whistling in my ear! The clouds forming shadows on the cliffs I remember the things my dad would tell us,.. Story’s but mainly myths The water was always cold, the sea salt always scented my hair Playing under the arch like a young boy with out a care Now I have something growing in me the treatment didn’t react The doctors could no longer help me, I have reached my final act The hospital room was filled with machines I can’t hold on much longer Removed the cords from my chest and pushed up with my shoulder I haven’t got anywhere to go, I have been here for so long The world seems dark and eerie I can’t wait to be gone The beach comes to mind a place full of joy and happiness This is where I will spend my final day, to end my life of loneliness “Sitting facing the horizon” the sea breeze is my only embrace looked over to the arch” the sands of time have ended my race |
Can We Get Some Votes???...
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Up~ing some votes please!!!
~1 |
Lololmao...
Ayo, Who Wins If No One Votes???... Haha, Shit Is Crazy... .One. |
Lol I don't think anyone is gonna you know..
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ok willa you had a hot drop good topic but i cant see what that had to do with the picture.hold on ill look again....nope still dont see it.i agree poetry dont have to rhyme but yours did i dont know what flow is talking about.very good drop and good vocab.prodigy good drop also and you stayed on topic so a extra point for you as well and you had good vocab and i really liked your poem but willas poem is a little better then yours except its off topic i think.willa tell me how your poem is on topic maybe i aint catch it then ill vote.
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Because I Didnt Just Describe The Picture...
I Made A Story With The Poem... It's Supposed To Be Asif Im In A Mental Instatution And Keep Having These Flash Backs To The Day That My Mother Died (The Day That I Went Insane)... And Then It's Supposed To Be Like While I'm Having Another Breakdown I Tryn Hide My Self In Thoughts Of The Place That Is Pictured... So The First Two Stanzas Are Story Supporters And The Last Is Most Reflective Of The Picture Given By Flow Intelligent... .One. |
willa...i was really feeling the peom, but for the peotry league....it didnt really fit........now i can undertand u writing a poem story and then bringin in the "write about the picture" part....but i think u could have went about it in adiffrent way, so there for it wouldnt seem as if u went off topic. Becus when u first read your poem it has nothing to do with the picture...untill the very end.....and truthfully i didnt really want to read all that, it was a waste becuz it didnt have much to do with the picture. What i think u should have did was write a poem story and the scene of the story could have been where that picture was.....that would have stayed on topic much better.
Now as far as prodigy.....you stayed on topic.....ya poem went well with the picture and i was feeling it for the most part both poems was really hot, but becuz prodigy went str8 to the point...talked bout the picture....my vote has to go to him 1 |
Votes 1-1 come on people & thanx mizz for the vote.
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Wow, I'm Actually Losing Points For Creativity...
Lolol Thats Crazy... .One. |
umm i dont fel like typin sooo this is a good battle........both came strong but ima have to givre it to Atticus for the more creative emotional verse.......NEXT TIME YOULL DEF WIN IF IT RHYMES pz...
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Alright 1-2 to Ab thanks for the vote..
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Willy Wonka (atticus):
I Was Really Feeling Your Verse For These Reasons...It Was Probably The Most Creative Pieve I Have Seen On RV...If You Really Thought About It He Did Write About The PIcture....He Wrote About What Happened To Him... And What This Picture Made Him Feel...And It Made Me Feel The Same Its A Desolate Setting....The Structure Was Really Choppy Though...Definately Work On That...Decent Wordplay...Another Good Aspect Of Your Piece Was The Vocab And How You Described Everything Including Every Little Detail...And That Gave Your Piece A Sense Of Depth...Imagery Was Pretty Good And Everything Came Together Well Overall : 7.5/10 Prodigy (magic): Your Imagery Was Amazing You Also Well Very Detailed...How The Sky Was...How The Waves Hitting The Shore...Very Good Imagery....Your Structure Was Also Choppy.. Try To Even Up Your Lines A Little Better...You Have Alot Of Potential In Topical Writing I Just Dont Feel You Used Every Aspect You Could To Make Your Piece Better....First Of All You Should Have Wrote More....You Definately Could Have Won.. 2nd You Should Have Used Better Vocab And More Emotion...But Besides That Your Verse Was Pretty Good Overall : 7/10 Vote: Willy Wonka |
3-1, Favor Me...
Upping... .One. |
Atty(willy):
well I loved that drop I was expected it was gonna be hott and It was like I suspected lol aight lets break it down.. you flow was flawless it was well done in the entire thing. creativity was there I liked the story you told in it..... the concept was str8 crazy madd hott as usual............. emotion was great I could really feel it in your words mayn depth....you ripped it hott again......................... overall: 8.5/10 Magic(prodigy): nice drop I was feeling it I didn't know what to expect from you because I never any of your drops lets break it down.... your flow was crazy and dope I loved it I was liking it..... creativity was nice could of been better both a story and... descriptive like in my opinion only I guess lol............. concept was great again it was CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!............. emotion was good but I wanted more of that.................. depth well it went deep but I didn't feel much emotion...... overall: 7.5/10 Atty gets my vote since I liked his drop a little more...... but hott drops both ways ~RESPECT~.......................... and I am For$aken... |
Thanks for the vote whats that 1~4 haha its kool I thought
you come dark man respect!! Nice drop you come heavy on that I was really feeling it. Thanks for the feedback Flow & Un pointing out my faults could only make me better,, new to topicals aswell Peace. ~1 |
Battle Closed Willy Wonka Wins By KO 4-1
-- F.I |
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