Weed Song!
 

shit this is old, but I thought i'd post it up anyway, gimme some feedback please, I wanna know what yall think of this shit


There is a little substance, they call it Mary Jane,
Whatever name you call it, you still smoking the same,
But the amount we smoke the shit is almost nearly insane
Surrounded by smoke so much, that’s become our name
We never really noticed, too stoned off our brain,
But when the high times left us, we got it through pain,
Smoke in our lungs so much, the joints like a crane,
Pulls the bad shit out, and gets us high again,
Do anything for weed, we’ll even rob a train,
Be on the 9pm news, unlike others not the same,
Goin that far for drugs, gotta be addicted,
Fuck it, pass the rizla, my turn to skin shit,
I got a fat one rolled now, time to get it blitzted,
See that’s my new word, cos with piggys won’t risk it,
I’m not getting jailed this young just over contraband,
The only way I’ll ever go down, is if I kill a man,
But the chance of that happenin, in this truly stoned state,
Is round the same as horsforth school takin down that green gate,
Speakin of Green, I think it’s time for my next hit,
Slow the beat down, pass the blunt lets spark it

feedback anyone, come its like my first-iah post whats goin on

yeh, feedback would be nice come on dont sleep on my first open mic

he he cool drop shit 9/10

My raps plain raw like a chain saw cut wood kick butts good
In corrupt hoods, step to timber in September all sluts should
Duck this. Proper protection critical, doctor’s direction pivotal
Medicine prescribed like Thomas Edison survived my physical
Inventions such as light bulbs I write thug

lovely man, jus lovely, please drop some feedback yo, come on!!!

it was not that good for the most part 4/10 ok elavate add some better vocab

:stupid: yeh ok................................

yo ya rap is tight but weed is stupid, who would want to do a drug that is a downer

how is weed a downer, that shit rules man, anyway thanks for the feedback, and uppin for more!!

YO
number 1 - weed aint stupid, if u dont like it why the fuck u in this thread?

2 - all these muhfuckas sayin " u need to elevate " BITCH how the FUCKKKKKK do u kno????? u aint no fuckin producer, u dont run no fuckin record company! rap how u rap, u rap gangsta, be gangsta, u rock a shit load of metaphors n all that, then do that, look at three 6, platinum muthafuckin rappers, and they dont fuckin go all crazy style wit metaphors n shit like wu tang n shit, so bottem line is, spit what u want, how u want, and all these cats sayin elevate, unless u a fuckin ceo or some shit shut the fuck up!!!!!


....there but yee keep it pimpin wit the weed songs, thas good keep it flowin.......holla

thanks I guess, I'll take it as a compliment. but yeh bit of feedback, like actual feedback

yo dat shit was str8 dawg nice piece

want some real feedback???.......
 

There is a little substance, they call it Mary Jane,
Whatever name you call it, you still smoking the same,
^decent line ok intro
But the amount we smoke the shit is almost nearly insane
Surrounded by smoke so much, that’s become our name
^1st line iffy...2nd last part was'nt 2 good..
We never really noticed, too stoned off our brain,
But when the high times left us, we got it through pain,
^was'nt feeling it"worded badly but nice idea
Smoke in our lungs so much, the joints like a crane,
Pulls the bad shit out, and gets us high again,
^^ok..crane??dint get it
Do anything for weed, we’ll even rob a train,
Be on the 9pm news, unlike others not the same,
^ok...2nd line could've been better
Goin that far for drugs, gotta be addicted,
Fuck it, pass the rizla, my turn to skin shit,
^koo line liked it..1 of the best in the piece
I got a fat one rolled now, time to get it blitzted,
See that’s my new word, cos with piggys won’t risk it,
^ok kinda throws ya off flow with ya new word
I’m not getting jailed this young just over contraband,
The only way I’ll ever go down, is if I kill a man,
^to much explain ing "repeated the point"
But the chance of that happenin, in this truly stoned state,
Is round the same as horsforth school takin down that green gate,
^dunno bout "horsforth..but decent
Speakin of Green, I think it’s time for my next hit,
Slow the beat down, pass the blunt lets spark it
^endin was koo..bit short but still good..


overall not bad try n even out your structure it'll help ya syllable count dint find it was great for meta's or wordplay might wanna try some of those ,it makes for a more enjoyable n more complex read....less predictable"1 line i would've changed for sure was this 1

We never really noticed, too stoned off our brain,
But when the high times left us, we got it through pain,

maybe like this:::.......

too stoned off the brain thoughts jumpin out n not gettin noticed,
it was pain when high times left us cause our clarity was unfocused,

i dunno something like that^^^^

this folks is the smartest man on the website,props to ya sinn

weed is good for your health!!!!!

(*wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

ill flow, people just dont drop rhymes about weed like they used to

too right, uppin this shiut

Don't make me Soul Clap you bitches into here

^hey man to be honest your wack man...0/10


naw just playin lol:) dope drop man 8/10 fuckin good shit.

at least me n brotha, agree on this
that weeds at the, top of the list

that right there, is my numba 1 thang
ima roll up the owl, and hit it witta flame

then i take, one big pull
that right there got my lungs full

now i pass it on, right to the left
this green makes me, lose my breath

i cant stop coughin what the fuck
damn this weed got my ass stuck

its that afgahni fire
dog i swear im not a lier

the shit so nice, so fluffy n sticky
but thats 1 thing that makes it tricky

tryina roll a blunt, but the shit wont light
this fuckin danks puttin up a fight

ah there it went, smokin like a muffla
call me magic dragon the fuckin weed puffa

^lol sinn puts my name in a rhyem lol

but ya sinn not bad realy pretty good man 6/10 its hard to get over 5 for most people from me anyway lol:) peace

alrite 5/10 pc

yo yo hoes


its about time i did some uppin

good spit

nope you suck no jk ya yer good lol

wow, people sleep on this huh?? thanks all who gave feedback

this was weak tho

wake up bitches

ahem

dat shit was raw keep ur own flow

thanks^^^ :D

more more MORE!!!!

There is a little substance, they call it Mary Jane,
Whatever name you call it, you still smoking the same,
Nice intro.
But the amount we smoke the shit is almost nearly insane
Surrounded by smoke so much, that’s become our name
This was good.
We never really noticed, too stoned off our brain,
But when the high times left us, we got it through pain,
should be word different but it was ok.
Smoke in our lungs so much, the joints like a crane,
Pulls the bad shit out, and gets us high again,
I don't get it
Do anything for weed, we’ll even rob a train,
Be on the 9pm news, unlike others not the same,
Pretty good
Goin that far for drugs, gotta be addicted,
Fuck it, pass the rizla, my turn to skin shit,
that was an okay peice.
I got a fat one rolled now, time to get it blitzted,
See that’s my new word, cos with piggys won’t risk it,
This was not all that good.
I’m not getting jailed this young just over contraband,
The only way I’ll ever go down, is if I kill a man,
Yup.
But the chance of that happenin, in this truly stoned state,
Is round the same as horsforth school takin down that green gate,
I don't know about this one.
Speakin of Green, I think it’s time for my next hit,
Slow the beat down, pass the blunt lets spark it
Okay. the end

I like the intro.. Although i lost interest around the middle part, it was pretty good, 6.9/10 :thumbup:

that shit was weak E-A-SKI would of had that shit slappn