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Mad Dog vs Poet
Battle Rules: 15 - UNLIMITED Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No D/R No Bullshit Votes 500 Posts To Vote Topic: A Shootout Minimum posts to vote: 500 Check in by: 09-06-04 at 06:40 AM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Mad Dog has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-03-04 06:41 AM.
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Poet has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-03-04 11:02 AM.
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Topic: Shootout (Intro) Well I want you to imagine yourself in this verse…I want you get involved in this coz u’ll understand it better…read it…live it…coz this shit happens… (Verse) Walkin wit my son down the streets so calm we nearly dazing, With no signal…men come from no-where guns blazing, A gang war…peeps wit pieces settlin scores & now we indirectly involved, People dropping bullet holes now lookin like polos faces turning cold, My son dropped…but he weren’t shot he ducked 4 cover in shock, Bullets flyin every where tears in his eyes he needs me I hope I’m not popped. He said “don’t let me die dad please” he couldn’t move from the spot, But I couldn’t move him too many bullets flyin down like thrown rocks, Them bullets showered the skies like a mid winter hale storm, And yet my surprise 10 minutes…and still no uniform, We had to move the storm was gathering the skies got dark, The evil around them gunshots resembled many rabid dogs barks, They doin this wrongly they ain’t savin lives they takin lives, Well I gotta move my boy…I ain’t payin the ultimate price, One gangsta fell and I took his piece for security, But the shower never eased…it jus made things worse more intensity, The bullets were getting closer I had to delay them for a second, Pointed upwards released this clip the guns stopped…then I dropped the weapon, Picked my boy up and ran for the next block, Automatics came out…ain’t these ma fuckas gonn run outta glocks?, Pumped shots dumped slugs too many terminologies, We gots to move or me & the kid…will be another criminal fatality, So I kept runnin my sons helpless I felt bad for his health, The stress from this shootout…is gonn result in me blaming myself, Nearly made it…but I tripped on a crack, Gunshots still approaching…almost there now safety’s a certain fact, Hit the corner and I felt some real heavy smacks, But my boy down he looked in shock…as I took 5 in the back, It left me breathless but I still said run son go, Then I fell to the floor…it felt like slo-mo, I heard footsteps amongst the bullets I tried to make a proposition, But he said this shootouts over for you *BANG…fade*… …End of transmission, |
Topic: "A Shootout" =Mind Of A Killer= Im heartless since birth.. Manicly Violent, Never silent on views towards the system.. Living rough in Poverty, Without Religion, Quitting school early cuz I didnt listen.. I was lost in my own thoughts.. My own world........Killing became my own religion.. Its only natural.. I learn skills on efficient killing, trained commando dreams n visions.. I make decisions based on risk.. Blessed with the knowledge to lead a life... Un-detected.. On the run from authority.. Legendry hitman entity, known for being un-friendly yet respected.. Playing mind tricks on victems.. Ghost games leaving frames post mortem no longer breathing.. While seemingly dissapearing in darkness a phantom organization.. Constantly Scheming.. You can call me a ghost in the dark.. I spark large scale problems and bad connundrums.. Feeding off Corperate warfare.. Beware cuz Im death for a price tag, with many functions.. =Casing The Bank= The Science of corperation.. Administration needs pruning.. As Im Entering this picture.. Inventing a plan of action......Never slipping, deep in the Malaysian business sector.. Im instigating pressure.. Giving and Delivering expressions.....Described as faceless.. Looking around, keeping pace to classical tones, instrumentals calm... Never invasive.. Business men on mobiles......Blissful ignorance to currant events that are now in motion.. Im staying low looking around.. Sound of conversation, Bank tellers working like its devotion.. As I pace slow-mo to the elevator..........Press floor 8 then wait for the doors to close.. Im standing posed.. Watching the world pass, my mind goes......Like I physically froze.. Then snap back to reality.. Return with my killer mentality.. Crystal clear with actuality.. Checkin my clip as I dump my coat, clear my throat..Now its Time for a fucking "Corperate fatality".. =A Dead-End= The plans working.. Im breezing through this with ease.. Just getting Comfortable.. Now approaching the targets residence.. Im landed face to face with a Contstable.. What the fuck! Switch to Plan B, Im leaving fast fore Im considered as suspicious.. But like a domino effect.. Shits awefully wrong, now these cops are getting vicious.. "THATS THE GUY!" is all I hear.. Glocks reaching my minds eye.. With No means of escape.. I hit the floor, minds on this mistake.. While shots begin to errupt like an earthquake.. I get hit once in my leg.. In pain I shoot back hitting a cop straight through the head.. And blood sprays creates a mozart.. To beathoven acustic music ricocheting with lead.. Crawling on all fours.. Bleeding badly, Thought Im not a religious man Im reciting prayes.. Layed to rest to the drowning sound of rain.. Im hell bound but Im guessing nobody cares.. =The End Of The Road= Ive heard stories concerning death.. But nothing compares to the mental anguish it brings.. I stress my mind attempting to cencentrate.. But my focus is on blurring vision n other things.. Dear God this is my testimony! Take me under your wing.. Cure my heart of evil sins.. Im not near done on this earth.. Im crying quiety.. Seeing light in my vision of what death brings.. |
Uppin this...not for the votes only...fuckin battle of the month!
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uppin this ma fuckin thread 4 them ma fuckin votes
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Uppin For Votes.. Drop links when your done voting.
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Voted For: Poet
(Intro) Well I want you to imagine yourself in this verse…I want you get involved in this coz u’ll understand it better…read it…live it…coz this shit happens… (Verse) Walkin wit my son down the streets so calm we nearly dazing, With no signal…men come from no-where guns blazing, A gang war…peeps wit pieces settlin scores & now we indirectly involved, People dropping bullet holes now lookin like polos faces turning cold, My son dropped…but he weren’t shot he ducked 4 cover in shock, Bullets flyin every where tears in his eyes he needs me I hope I’m not popped. He said “don’t let me die dad please” he couldn’t move from the spot, But I couldn’t move him too many bullets flyin down like thrown rocks, Them bullets showered the skies like a mid winter hale storm, And yet my surprise 10 minutes…and still no uniform, We had to move the storm was gathering the skies got dark, The evil around them gunshots resembled many rabid dogs barks, They doin this wrongly they ain’t savin lives they takin lives, Well I gotta move my boy…I ain’t payin the ultimate price, One gangsta fell and I took his piece for security, But the shower never eased…it jus made things worse more intensity, The bullets were getting closer I had to delay them for a second, Pointed upwards released this clip the guns stopped…then I dropped the weapon, Picked my boy up and ran for the next block, Automatics came out…ain’t these ma fuckas gonn run outta glocks?, Pumped shots dumped slugs too many terminologies, We gots to move or me & the kid…will be another criminal fatality, So I kept runnin my sons helpless I felt bad for his health, The stress from this shootout…is gonn result in me blaming myself, Nearly made it…but I tripped on a crack, Gunshots still approaching…almost there now safety’s a certain fact, Hit the corner and I felt some real heavy smacks, But my boy down he looked in shock…as I took 5 in the back, It left me breathless but I still said run son go, Then I fell to the floor…it felt like slo-mo, I heard footsteps amongst the bullets I tried to make a proposition, But he said this shootouts over for you *BANG…fade*… …End of transmission, This was nice structure and wordplay was ok u could of used better complexity and higher vocab would of made your drop alot more smoother and alot more convincing on the subject that your were spittin about`You had about a 6/10 drop lack of wordplay and complexity brung your score down ya structure was bout the best thing u had goin 4 u here =Mind Of A Killer= Im heartless since birth.. Manicly Violent, Never silent on views towards the system.. Living rough in Poverty, Without Religion, Quitting school early cuz I didnt listen.. I was lost in my own thoughts.. My own world........Killing became my own religion.. Its only natural.. I learn skills on efficient killing, trained commando dreams n visions.. I make decisions based on risk.. Blessed with the knowledge to lead a life... Un-detected.. On the run from authority.. Legendry hitman entity, known for being un-friendly yet respected.. Playing mind tricks on victems.. Ghost games leaving frames post mortem no longer breathing.. While seemingly dissapearing in darkness a phantom organization.. Constantly Scheming.. You can call me a ghost in the dark.. I spark large scale problems and bad connundrums.. Feeding off Corperate warfare.. Beware cuz Im death for a price tag, with many functions.. =Casing The Bank= The Science of corperation.. Administration needs pruning.. As Im Entering this picture.. Inventing a plan of action......Never slipping, deep in the Malaysian business sector.. Im instigating pressure.. Giving and Delivering expressions.....Described as faceless.. Looking around, keeping pace to classical tones, instrumentals calm... Never invasive.. Business men on mobiles......Blissful ignorance to currant events that are now in motion.. Im staying low looking around.. Sound of conversation, Bank tellers working like its devotion.. As I pace slow-mo to the elevator..........Press floor 8 then wait for the doors to close.. Im standing posed.. Watching the world pass, my mind goes......Like I physically froze.. Then snap back to reality.. Return with my killer mentality.. Crystal clear with actuality.. Checkin my clip as I dump my coat, clear my throat..Now its Time for a fucking "Corperate fatality".. =A Dead-End= The plans working.. Im breezing through this with ease.. Just getting Comfortable.. Now approaching the targets residence.. Im landed face to face with a Contstable.. What the fuck! Switch to Plan B, Im leaving fast fore Im considered as suspicious.. But like a domino effect.. Shits awefully wrong, now these cops are getting vicious.. "THATS THE GUY!" is all I hear.. Glocks reaching my minds eye.. With No means of escape.. I hit the floor, minds on this mistake.. While shots begin to errupt like an earthquake.. I get hit once in my leg.. In pain I shoot back hitting a cop straight through the head.. And blood sprays creates a mozart.. To beathoven acustic music ricocheting with lead.. Crawling on all fours.. Bleeding badly, Thought Im not a religious man Im reciting prayes.. Layed to rest to the drowning sound of rain.. Im hell bound but Im guessing nobody cares.. =The End Of The Road= Ive heard stories concerning death.. But nothing compares to the mental anguish it brings.. I stress my mind attempting to cencentrate.. But my focus is on blurring vision n other things.. Dear God this is my testimony! Take me under your wing.. Cure my heart of evil sins.. Im not near done on this earth.. Im crying quiety.. Seeing light in my vision of what death brings.. Nice vision and complexity in ya drop u had perfect structure for a topical atleast was feelin your point of view alot more u had nice wordplay which that is mostly all that a topical is about~that makes a topical run alot more smoother ~overall 7/10 Close battle but it came down 2 better wordplay and complexity no hate jus honest |
Trooper it's cool jus as long as ya remember this 4 topical of the month...lol uppin keep em comin
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Voted For: Poet
woord... you shoulda told me you guys were gonna battle :) aight mad dog: nice plot, except it was kinda vague at the start. No limits bro, so you can go into all the detail of how he got into the shootout, why his kids with him, n all that.. but ya didnt -_- flow was a little choppy in parts but its all good. Poet: At the start it was kind of bland.. good though, but not engaging, know what i mean? But after the first paragraph it got interesting. Madd plot. Flow was a little stretched, some lines.. so it sounded more poetic than rap. but i guess your name is poet... so yeah... Quote:
^^^dope |
uppin this ma fuckin thread 4 them ma fuckin votes
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Uppin again.. Drop links when your done voting....
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Still uppin for more votes.........................
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Uppin again..............This has been here for 2 days now.
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Voted For: Mad Dog
Im Gonna Give This To Mad Dog... ONLY Because He Thought Outside The Box On His Concept... Cuz You See Shoot Out And Automatically You Think Hitman, Cimes, Robbery... Those Are Standerd... Mad Thought Away From That And Made The Topic More Original... But Poet Ya Shit Was Crazy... Vocab Was ILL, And Ya Shit Was Mad Nice But Just Not Above Mad Dog's Shit... Vote: Mad Dog .One. |
This was feedback posted for Poet
juss checkin
poet: nice topic u was really on the topic very nice shit nic drop MAd: you was good too nice verse |
Nice Abs thanx uppin this yet again...............
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Uppaine........................................... .
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Voted For: Poet
ok.this was nice by both. structure... first off poet yours instantly looked the better verse,very neat and tidy srtructure...the small writing works real well,looks neat any gets u more complex vocab into a verse..without lookin stretched. mad dog...try getin urs like that.(i know im gona)... its notin to really vote on,but it jus gives u that beta first impression, looks more proffesional,polished and more appealing. vocab...i think poet took it here also..more complex word usage, which helps a topical verse cos it adds more depth...n complexity is harder to achieve. imagery... again im gon hve to go wit poet...i felt his was more in depth...he delved deeper into the mind and emotions going on...it was a real deep verse.mad dog urs was gud too, but like i said i felt poet had u in this area. enjoyment ok havin said that i did actually enjoy mad dogs more....i felt it was easier to follow and although a simpler piece overall tha poets....i enjoyed it more.. but enjoyments a personal thing,n thas jus my opinion... multies.../fboth fairly even,,,,,,id say poet took it here because of his vocab......his rhymin was more complex..... although the flow was about tied. overall my vote is poet. mad dog u had a nice verse...but i think poet jus about took it in every area....it was overall a more in-depth and complex piece. vote-poet.... by the way.whoeva wins,id like ta battle.gud drops peace |
Nice explination i'm new to this so i'm laring all the time hopefully my next battle should get better feedback than this but yea i enjoyed this battle too...uppin
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upp...............................................
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yupp
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uppin............................................. .
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This was feedback posted for Poet
alright mad dog....your verse was alright...some of your choice words for rhyme words wern't the greatest...youtr vocab was good at times...and at times it wasn't..and your story jumped off too quick...it made it interesting at first...but with all the action and no plot twist..it lost it's luster....nice verse though
Poet...nice verse...very nice....transitions were good....you ended every part at just the right time....AWSOME imagery....you and mad dog both had good imagery..but i saw your verse a little more for some reason...vocab was nice...and this As I pace slow-mo to the elevator..........Press floor 8 then wait for the doors to close.. Im standing posed.. Watching the world pass, my mind goes......Like I physically froze.. Then snap back to reality.. Return with my killer mentality.. Crystal clear with actuality.. Checkin my clip as I dump my coat, clear my throat..Now its Time for a fucking "Corperate i really liked....I interpreted that as a guy who is doin what he was sent to do....but is maybe seein the world through different views than just life and death....like maybe he is starting to feel some kind of value....and than he just snaps back to what his reality is....could be a wrong interpretation...but thats what poetry is for... i give my vote to poet...you both had good verses...i just think poets ability to word his thoughts..amd creativity won this over..good battle though..much respect |
Uppinneee......................................... .
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uppin this ma fuckin thread 4 them ma fuckin votes
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Uppin again........................................
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Fuckin Uppin.........Vote whores...................
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Uppin this ma fuckin thread 4 them ma fuckin votes
1,000 Mutha fuckin posts too bi-atch holla |
uppin this ma fuckin thread 4 them ma fuckin votes
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Uppin....................again.................... ..
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Uppin again...........vote whores...................
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Voted For: Poet
i hate topicals but i like this topic good shit by both poet-good perception and depth threw the whole verse i like the way u apporched it and laid out a story of how the person thought then good description as he went threw the rest of his complications stayed on topic pretty much the bank didnt really need to be in it but i seee what u was doin just gettin it set up for the shootout overall nice verse good shit kid mad dog- fealin ya approach to good shit aswell hood shit got the bullets chasin u down constently till they catch up with had imagery aswell took a different approach kinda like menace to society at the end of the movie is what it reminded me of lol nice verse kid overall im gonna go with poet for goin more indepth and layin it out a lil better but mad dog ya shit was nice no hate return the favor me vs phantom :thumbup: |
Ya know i'm happy wit the result so far because i'm glad peeps are feelin my shit too uppin...perhaps for the final vote
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Voted For: Poet
wow dis was a good battle poet damn from a topical guy myself this was one of my personal fav's mad dog you did good but poet was dope here so my vote goes to poet.... |
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