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Poet vs ProVerse
Battle Rules: 10 - 50 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Bullshit 200 Posts To Vote Topic: "Lost Dreams" Minimum posts to vote: 200 Check in by: 09-11-04 at 10:45 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Poet has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-10-04 11:01 AM.
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ProVerse has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-10-04 05:11 PM.
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every since i was a minor I wanted to be hired in the music industry, but that dream became the end of me the final chapter of my legacy, this could be my last breath to breath.... my final release of the collecting stress in me.... why did it slip my mind?how could i live my mixtapes behind i usually always keep them to my side as my pride and comfide all my agression i build up inside that i hide deep that under my mind but now as i cry i pull the knife closer to my eye..... that was my last chance...my final opportunity to advance almost like a last dance...but i will tango with the devel I know its a sin but I cannot live through the tangle i cannot settle the balnce between the morals and the horror doest seem to level i begin sweating... its drips over my palms, my hands shake my nerves are shock I struggle to remain calm i stare at the narrow tip of the blade it's no longer a weapon to me its a save from not living my days as my only dream it seems now i no longer heave when I bleed it all feel apart-my eyellashes were cut by the sharp knife that send chills when i felt my puepil split apart the knife touch the middle of my brain the white tee was stained as my own blood rained the worst part was....the rap game was only a phase... :) sad aint it lol |
Topic: "Lost Dreams" 16 Years Old - A Bright Future I see light in my future.. Im right blessed with a mind un-stressed about reality.. Taking tests to become a man.. No longer adoles-ant no questions of bad mentality.. And Im actually.. Almost finished school.. Who woulda thought Id really make it.. Victories on my mind, I never fake it.. Im happy with my life n how I take shit.. See Im growin up quick man.. I used to struggle with plans contradicting these.. Needless Demands.. But now I got my shit together.. I aint stressin.. Guessin Im simply destined to advance.. Blessed with the ess-ance of making something.. First to graduate in my whole history.. And I hold this honor with pride, as I begin to contemplate how pain died peacefully.. While Im Activly chasing dreams.. With plans to make 100 grand.. Through Rap an.. Poetry.. Rhyme n wordplay flowing through my veins n arteries.. Im sure its meant to be.. Mentally, my minds stubborn.. Set on one goal Id never fold.. Even with immense pressure.. Pleasure in tribulations.. Generating innovations.. While Common sence.. Shines in every measure.. (Every Measure..) 20 Years Old - Getting Fed Up Im still rappin underground, Still working at dreams to become commercial.. Still freestylin with friends, still merking with Ill rhymes at my dispursal.. But I aint gettin noticed.. Maybe its how I approach shit.. Or the way I start this.. Still sending demo's with sick flows, but Im STILL a respected.. Low paid Artist.. How the fuck can I break this cycle.. Its sad, But Im Begginning to hate the industry.. What can I change with-in me, to make them see the message my rhymes display daily.. Its crazy.. How you can frustrate... N mold ya whole life for a single cause.. Feeling beserk needs for The mic, a pen and paper, Records and an Applause.. Bro Ill never lose focus, on my purpose, for being on this earth its.. To go insane, get rich with a couple bitches, N prove that Im not worthless.. 25 Years Old - Whats the Point? Well thats it.. Im losing hope, living chaotic with a demonic mind troubled by heroin.. Becomming un-known, A has-been at 25, live, but kicked out the rap game n everythin.. Its perplexin my brain, Im dope, but CEO's never noticed this.. My intentions to spit a diss.. Without a chance to advance cuz shit.. I was constantly Kept back by a Business suit bitch.. Saying I wasnt portraying the selling image.. They couldnt except that Im origional.. Spittin nuthin but truth.. But Record companys rather pay artists thats simply fictional.. Im pissed, I cant hide it.. Used to wanna rap, fuck a come-back.. I tried but I cant fight it.. Im sick of my life.. All I do is stay blazed.. Juz a Dazed.. Phykotic.. brain damaged alcaholic.. (Alcaholic) 35 Years Old - Another Statistic Fuck it.. My exterior's slipping, Minds physically gone from constant tripping.. Fuck the system.. Im too old to even be fucking considered for commercialism.. It hurts my ego.. I keep my head down with Feelings of resentment and rejection.. To outlet my Inspection.. I was born to fail.. Like a mistake with no correction.. Im drug fucked.. Stuttering in every sentence.. Repentence is the only hope for me.. Struggling with pety social issues.. Cuz most my old friends are gone from an O.D.. Its only me.. Along with skitzophrenic deamons in my mind from a life of drug abuse.. See I refuse to quit this shit, addiction controls me.. Physically holds me in a noose.. So FUCK LIFE.. Whats the reason to keep going.. When ya know your a mistake.. All this drama on my plate.. I cant take no more My minds struggling with hate.. Im a por-trait of disaster.. Knowledge no-body wanted, God.. Why do I deserve this? Im unperfect n worthless.. Trials N Tribulations of living a whole life in vein.. Going insane.. Gripping steel, thinking last thoughts before I put a bullet in my brain.. *BANG* Consider this Food for thought, Upon entering the rap game.. |
Sorry for writin a story lol..
I has bad writers block while I wrote this, so I kinda went a lil far pushing the subject.. But anyway, let the votes speak.. |
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Voted For: Poet
ProVerse: Aight.. ya plot was kind of.. unexplained.. na'mean? it didnt go into much depth.. and not very original.. but ya flow was good.. just the content was exactly what i expected from this topic.. poet: Yours was a played kinda thing too with the industry and drugs.. but you always manage to pull off this kinda shit in an original way.. so i was feelin it.. u got an original flow.. n a good imagination.. word.. |
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Voted For: Poet
Aight...... Poets A DICKHEAD, But Nobody Can Deny Hes Spittin Fiyah.. Very Complex Verse, Nice Mixture Of Metas n Vocab, Nice Verse On The Whole From Poet, Keep Em Comin Proverse, Ya Drop Was Aight, U Couldda Maybe Upped Ya Vocab A Lil, Ya Structure Was Right On Pont Tho, Ya Just Couldnt MatchUp To What Poet Had To Offer... No Hate Ya'll, But My Vote Goes Too Poet P E A C E |
Voted For: Poet
Pro~i felt what u was tryin 2 come with u had some nice complexity and ya wordplay was hittin there it was intresting im not into topicals but you had some nice vocab and nice intresting enders and closers you were hitting the subject on point,But you could of used some Higher vocab thats what pretty much hurt you in this battle. Poet~Again you had a very nice drop ya open and close were nicely worded ya structure was perfect which matched ya complexity which it always should coincide with ya structure for a perfect drop.Ya wordplay was really onpoint was over your opponents which gave u the victory here~you had nice vocab also so based on ya struc and setup wordplay and vocab u get the win here ~No hate jus Honest~ |
Uppin for more votes...............................
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Voted For: ProVerse
well i feel proverse as a dope rhymer hes the same age as me hes pretty dope already but poet i respect you you got good songs but i give proverse credit on this battle he came in hard for 14 and poet you shouldnet of played around this kids hot:): punches: no need this a tipical flow: Proverse vocab: Proverse wordplay: poet metas: a bit more sucted by Proverse jsut a bit multi's Proverse for sure no doubt opener:poet closener:poet stucture:poet storylines: Proverse 5/4 proverse took it vote and most enjoyed/ProVerse |
Voted For: Poet
lmfao poet killed this shit flat out he had good vocab good good imaginary witch is so important an tha different phases of tha story that was hella dope proverse blah your shit was plain very childish like vocab wasnt feelin yours at all their for i vote for poet |
Voted For: Poet
Poet vrs Proverse Annialation: Proverse: i was comprehending all words n statistics. but your character had me feeling gloomy, you should picked up more relation to the topic of lost dreams (having dreams at one point, and slowly fading from dreams to drempt n swallowed) you breifly discussed the facts on which your character had daily dreams n believed in a ture outcome, lines were nice n short, not stretching your rhymes is always good, ill give you positive feedback for your closing lines. but your drop was awfully narrow. you only dropped nearly 25 lines. compared to poet's thorough essay, your verse looks like a grade C effort. that was your downfall. the negative response of my opinion seems to overlap the positive remarks, evidently leading to: your 36/50 on this topical. (completely in my opinion.) Poet:my first impretion on your drop was decent as i opened lines and began to read and digest, you have nice flow, the structure for me was hard to commend but easy to pick up on after the first 2-3 bars, the negative aspect about your rhymes was equal to the fact some lines were stretched longer than thier origin similie. you had to many syllables in a few lines to throw the flow off a bit. on the other side, dont think im eccentric to state you have a real blessed analogy, you have great research behind your topic, it seemed more effort given than proverse as well, you dont have a deep meaning to create an antitype to your essay, but your blunt and precise, which can make up for that tradition. in all decency i tried to expand my opinion by reading your partial entry again, and yet came to the conclusion that you deserve fully: a 43/50 on this topical. similarities
differences
( this sates and concludes verb's opinion, and nothing more ) it would be a blessing for either indivisual to look up and tackle a vote on one of my open battles, please return the favor of an honest and well explained vote... thank you, ]VOTE:Poet Erm, Bye. |
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