Yvonne vs Hypnotist
 

Battle Rules:

6 - Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting


check in when u ready...and gd luck

u aint owning me son :thumbup:

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 09-26-04 at 10:20 AM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

Yvonne has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-23-04 10:21 AM.

Hypnotist has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-23-04 10:21 AM.

I never knew hypnotised kids could lick a chicks clit
Becareful how u spit cos my busting u aint gon b sweet
How the fuck u think to own me,when ur’mind’is collided*
You still wouldn’t rock a mic bitch,even if u pre-wrote&recited**
6 lines cos u handy,dats y ur punches miss n hitting it sided**


*hes in mind collide…collide means to come into conflict…so if his mind is in conflict how the fuck he think to own me?


**that means to rehearse


**handy = handiucapped…usually handicaps got their mouth shifted to the side..and so his punches miss..they aint touching me..


vote on this and we will vote on urs….dats a promise

holla

hurry the fuck up...............

Ok right here is where you realise that the time stops..
Bcus i wake you from a sleep..
And ishatter your dreams of winning just like alarm clockz..
Face it, your a slut, your style sucks like airducts..
Ill make you "throw in the towel", like Arabs before haircuts..
Your even reppin KOK.so my dick already has you hypnotised..
You spit ice and I spit fire so..
Im gona melt you and freeze you just so i can murk you twice..


Owned by a N00b.

Voted For: Hypnotist

Hynotis gets my vote

Ok right here is where you realise that the time stops..
Bcus i wake you from a sleep..
And ishatter your dreams of winning just like alarm clockz..
This was prett good descent punch

Face it, your a slut, your style sucks like airducts..
Ill make you "throw in the towel", like Arabs before haircuts..
This was a fuckin riot and a good punch

Your even reppin KOK.so my dick already has you hypnotised..
You spit ice and I spit fire so..
Im gona melt you and freeze you just so i can murk you twice..
not bad and pretty creative


never knew hypnotised kids could lick a chicks clit
Becareful how u spit cos my busting u aint gon b sweet
didnt ryme and had no point

How the fuck u think to own me,when ur’mind’is collided*
You still wouldn’t rock a mic bitch,even if u pre-wrote&recited**
This was pretty good
6 lines cos u handy,dats y ur punches miss n hitting it sided**
should have had another line to go with this one


NO HATE JUST FACTS
HYP TOOK THIS

Hit this up

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=151053

Voted For: Hypnotist

Hypno got this............

much more complex verse, an ya opener didnt even rhyme yvonne, ya came weak as fuck in this battle, hypno dropped a decent verse, the basttle didnt have any hard hittin punches, the metas n humour wasnt there either...

both elevate, but on the whole hypno had the better verse, cause his/her stuff actually rhymed......

ill hit that link up in a while Ice Pick.
Leave Links People :).

Voted For: Hypnotist

yo you got this... i liked your verse alot better and was funny...

yvonne yours was aight but i wasn't feelin it as much as hyps

aight peace no hate keep elevatin ya'll...

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

yo i forgot repay the favour link in the sig.... p e a c e !

Uppin i will hit up all links.

This was feedback posted for Yvonne
 

yvonne gets this fo sho...
cos she came up harder...her structure was better and her verse was flowing better than hypnotist...her wordplay and personals were decent too...gd job...

hypnostist...
in ur whole verse u had only one punch thats the arab line and that shit was fucked up ...ur structure was fucked up 2 it aint bout structure here >>> all bout the punches....i mean ur verse was slacking...lack of wordplay and personals......1.....just work on ur skills..
peace..

yo i made a mistake
didn't wanted to post a feedback
wanted to drop a vote
pz

iight uppin this thing peeps

Up this please vote iwill hit up any left links.

Voted For: Yvonne

Yvonne- Okay very short battle. no hard hitting punches. can't really comment on structure. You shouldn't have to explain your punches. I understood everything you said.
Nothing really good about this verse. needs a lot of work

Hypnotist- same for you. your lyrical content needs work. expecially on the vocab part. nothing hard hitting in your verse. punches not strong enough dunny. not a good verse

Yvonne got this by a little

:shocked: fair enough.

Voted For: Hypnotist

Yvonne
I never knew hypnotised kids could lick a chicks clit
Becareful how u spit cos my busting u aint gon b sweet
OMG...terrible...first line was like 'well i can tell this is gonna be wack but lets see what she does with it' second line was like *looks down and shakes head*
How the fuck u think to own me,when ur’mind’is collided*
You still wouldn’t rock a mic bitch,even if u pre-wrote&recited**
this was at least an attempt...it wasnt terrible but it didnt really connect that well...second line had an extra syllable or two but it was so-so
6 lines cos u handy,dats y ur punches miss n hitting it sided**
this doesnt make any sense...

hmm...that first bar really fucked you over...if you had a decent first bar and then a second line on your last bar it mightve come out ok...any lines baout getting your clit licked or your dick sucked or whatever are automatically gonna be played so you REEALLY gotta flip it well to make it original...ive gotta grade you on a curve because you are new so comparitively your second bar was pretty good but you forgot to make a second line on your third bar...the whole verse had an overall feeling of being very rushed...fuck around with it and take the time to make it good...dont keystyle if you cant do it...

Hypnotist
Ok right here is where you realise that the time stops..
Bcus i wake you from a sleep..
And ishatter your dreams of winning just like alarm clockz..
very nice here for a noob (as you claim to be)...it isnt the most original concept but it had a good spin on it and im seeing the beginning of some good structure and setups coming on...i think we will see good things out of you

Face it, your a slut, your style sucks like airducts..
Ill make you "throw in the towel", like Arabs before haircuts..
it made me wince to read 'youre a slut'...you really shouldve picked some other filler words because that sounds herbish...the punch didnt necissarily hit that hard but it was funny so its a good filler bar in my book

Your even reppin KOK.so my dick already has you hypnotised..
You spit ice and I spit fire so..
Im gona melt you and freeze you just so i can murk you twice..
not up to par for this verse...i just wasnt really feelin it...you shouldnt have used your name in the first line because it didnt make sense and you really haf to force it...the concept in the second line is played...doing anything 'so i can merk you twice' is getting played...it wasnt terrible i just didnt really find it up to your standards...

i really said everything i needed to say in the bars...very solid verse out of a noob ill be checkin for you...you took the win here easily

Voted For: Hypnotist

my vote goes to hypnotist,

flow was way better for hypnotist
punches were way better for hypotist, especailly the haircut one..
structure and cheekyness both go to hypnotist plus a good vocab and all!

Voted For: Hypnotist

^took this hands down...... he had the harder hittin' punches, yvonne ur structure was better, but flow wise it needed a lot of work on, hypnotist had wordplay and nice metaphors in his bars.. both word usage in the verses coulda been better.. hyp's closer was better and all that was in between- this was very one sided.... my vote hypnotist.. nice battle, both should come harder tho..