Lyrical Disciple vs RED BEAM
 

Battle Rules:

BATTLE 15 MINUTES TO CHECK IN AND 45 MINUTES TO DROP YA VERSE

6 - UNLIMITED Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 10-09-04 at 04:22 AM

Must drop verse in 45 minutes after check in.

Lyrical Disciple has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-09-04 03:54 AM.

RED BEAM has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-09-04 03:54 AM.

exactly nigga ill put a "RED BEAM" on ya chest
have you gaspin for ya breath
you aint tha King from Sac you mean tha Queen
only time you royal is in ya dreams
thinkin you "got connects on RV"
sorry cuzz i think you mean "burgers at arbys"
ill serve you like employes servin coffe
get to cocky
and ill throw "punches" that will knock you out like "rocky"
ill "heat" you up like a "Red Beam" and "burn" yo ass like "usher"(usha)
get to close and tha Lyrics will crush ya
ill have ya so called "connects" turn they back and rush ya
cuzzo from Sac(sack)that why he be ridin dicks
he like a lil boy make beef and call it quits
ill play some"Basketball"with ya head
reshape it and play "Football" SOME BODY CALL THA MED!!!
ya choose "Red" you always end up bleedin
chrome on tha dash will leave yo ass freezin
like an ice cicyle
cant you see you fuckin with tha Lyrical Disciple
ya rhymes is played out you goin "around" in a "circle"
im "flooding" tha "flow" but im not steeve earkle
i hope this is Perspiuous cuzz i dont wanna have this conversation again
Gelatnous nigga for votes he go and try to make Friends

he wants us to compare him to washers, he says he's all around the whirl
Whenever beef crosses your path, you find a corner and curl
You prolly think like a diplomat, you love rockin pink
I guess i'll take out this old garbage, cause i learned you stink
Lyrical Disciple, thats funny, i'll never run to you for advice
Im the type to strike up fire, i'll get in yo head like lice
he only wanna battle me, cause i votes against his weak rhymes
Dawg, your facing one of the best, take this here as a sign
when i beat you 5-0...i know you'll be loosin it
but this nigga so used to failin, i think he's abusin it
Red BEAM on ya dome, this niggas rhymes is real simple
you got no potential to go against me, get popped like pimples


-fuck it, i quit, im tired

ahhh i think you got that one hommie lol uppin on votes

Voted For: RED BEAM

BEAM

structure is alright.. flow fell off a little bit.. no multis.. u attempted wordplay, but that didnt come out so great.. a few of ur punches connected.. no good personals..

Lyrical Disciple

structure is good.. flow falls off a little.. no multis.. puting "" around ur words doesnt make wordplay.. u attempted it, but most of it came out wack.. not very many of ur punches connected.. no good personals..

Overall

both had a pretty good structure.. both flows fell off a little.. both attempted wordplay, but neither of them came out to good.. neither had multis.. neither had good personals.. what it comes down to is that BEAM had more creative punches.. Disciple tried, but putting a red beam on his chest WASNT creative.. so basing off of that.. BEAM gets my vote..

VOTE - BEAM

Please return the favor with an honest vote on the link in my sig.

that aint my style of puttin tha "" for wordplay thats my style of connecting two thing get it right miyate i use this for wordplay < >

Voted For: Lyrical Disciple

he wants us to compare him to washers, he says he's all around the whirl
Whenever beef crosses your path, you find a corner and curl
You prolly think like a diplomat, you love rockin pink
I guess i'll take out this old garbage, cause i learned you stink
Lyrical Disciple, thats funny, i'll never run to you for advice
Im the type to strike up fire, i'll get in yo head like lice
he only wanna battle me, cause i votes against his weak rhymes
Dawg, your facing one of the best, take this here as a sign
when i beat you 5-0...i know you'll be loosin it
but this nigga so used to failin, i think he's abusin it
Red BEAM on ya dome, this niggas rhymes is real simple
you got no potential to go against me, get popped like pimples
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ AIGHT NICE,,,,,PUNCHES WERE "OK" AND THE FLOW WAS GOOD~! USIN AN PERSONAL AND PUNCHES THATS AN PLUS~! OVERALL GOOD VERSE KEEP DOING IT USE HARDER PUNCHES AND PERSONALS



exactly nigga ill put a "RED BEAM" on ya chest
have you gaspin for ya breath
you aint tha King from Sac you mean tha Queen
only time you royal is in ya dreams
thinkin you "got connects on RV"
sorry cuzz i think you mean "burgers at arbys"
ill serve you like employes servin coffe
get to cocky
and ill throw "punches" that will knock you out like "rocky"
ill "heat" you up like a "Red Beam" and "burn" yo ass like "usher"(usha)
get to close and tha Lyrics will crush ya
ill have ya so called "connects" turn they back and rush ya
cuzzo from Sac(sack)that why he be ridin dicks
he like a lil boy make beef and call it quits
ill play some"Basketball"with ya head
reshape it and play "Football" SOME BODY CALL THA MED!!!
ya choose "Red" you always end up bleedin
chrome on tha dash will leave yo ass freezin
like an ice cicyle
cant you see you fuckin with tha Lyrical Disciple
ya rhymes is played out you goin "around" in a "circle"
im "flooding" tha "flow" but im not steeve earkle
i hope this is Perspiuous cuzz i dont wanna have this conversation again
Gelatnous nigga for votes he go and try to make Friends

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ NICE VERSE HERE GOOD ISH,,,,,,,HARDER PUNCHES AND FLOW


V-LYRICAL DISCIPLE CAUSE OF HARDER PUNCES AND FLOW

YO REDBEAM I C U TRYIN TO USE PERSONALS AND PUNCHES BUT DA PUNCHES WERENT HITTIN HARDER ELEVATE OK U'LL GET BETTA

~PEACE~

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

upppppn this.....need some more votes

Voted For: RED BEAM

i think red beam took this one.it wasnt that hard, and i really think this was a weak battle, but lyrical was at his throat with this one.lyrical had too many strectched lines in there, so i wasnt feeling the whole structure of the flow, and in beams flow, some lines needed more words added. beam had better punches, and more of em landed, so i think he took that category, and he also took it with structure
lyrical had more personals, i was feeling that, but overall i think red beam took this one.
-good flow yall, elevate more

good lookn with taht vote...aiyo just uppn this to the top

uppin on votes yall get at this thing....................

uppn on more votes honest votes
if it aint honest or explaine dq'ed

Voted For: RED BEAM

Orignal Battle

RED BEAM-
Yo punches were harder than Lyrical's & they landed..
Tha flow was pretty decent in there..
Tha structure was in place & not stretchy..
Tha vocab was aight..

Lyrical Disciple-
Yo punches were hard..but not hard enuff
Tha structure kinda lack'd
Tha flow fell-off a little
and ur vocab was aight

Overall
RED BEAM took this one..wit harder punches
a better flow
and a nice structure...

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

uppin on votes cuzzo get at this right here mayn

Voted For: RED BEAM

My vote goes to Red Beam

The flow compared to Lyrical Disciple was much smoother, and the lyrics overall werent that amazing but were much more original. RED kind of fell off towards the end though.

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=154260 Return an honost vote here

uppn ..........

Voted For: RED BEAM

Emcee:RED BEAM

Verse:
IP:


he wants us to compare him to washers, he says he's all around the whirl
Whenever beef crosses your path, you find a corner and curl
You prolly think like a diplomat, you love rockin pink
I guess i'll take out this old garbage, cause i learned you stink
Lyrical Disciple, thats funny, i'll never run to you for advice
Im the type to strike up fire, i'll get in yo head like lice
he only wanna battle me, cause i votes against his weak rhymes
Dawg, your facing one of the best, take this here as a sign
when i beat you 5-0...i know you'll be loosin it
but this nigga so used to failin, i think he's abusin it
Red BEAM on ya dome, this niggas rhymes is real simple
you got no potential to go against me, get popped like pimples

Comments:um...well overall your verse was better i couldnt get through the other guys verse coz of that ugly fuckin structure...

Marks:
Wordplay - 6/10
Metas - 7/10
Vocabulary - 5/10
Structure - 7/10
Punches - 6/10
Opener - 7/10
Closer – 7/10
Personals – 6/10
Enjoyment – 6/10
Creativity - 5/10
Overall - 62/100
----------62%

Emcee:Lyrical disiple

Verse:
exactly nigga ill put a "RED BEAM" on ya chest
have you gaspin for ya breath
you aint tha King from Sac you mean tha Queen
only time you royal is in ya dreams
thinkin you "got connects on RV"
sorry cuzz i think you mean "burgers at arbys"
ill serve you like employes servin coffe
get to cocky
and ill throw "punches" that will knock you out like "rocky"
ill "heat" you up like a "Red Beam" and "burn" yo ass like "usher"(usha)
get to close and tha Lyrics will crush ya
ill have ya so called "connects" turn they back and rush ya
cuzzo from Sac(sack)that why he be ridin dicks
he like a lil boy make beef and call it quits
ill play some"Basketball"with ya head
reshape it and play "Football" SOME BODY CALL THA MED!!!
ya choose "Red" you always end up bleedin
chrome on tha dash will leave yo ass freezin
like an ice cicyle
cant you see you fuckin with tha Lyrical Disciple
ya rhymes is played out you goin "around" in a "circle"
im "flooding" tha "flow" but im not steeve earkle
i hope this is Perspiuous cuzz i dont wanna have this conversation again
Gelatnous nigga for votes he go and try to make Friends

Comments:kid i couldnt even finish your verse coz it was just that horrid....elevate in UR STRUCTURE...i mean WTF is that...looks like men from all ethnicitys comparing their dick size...

Marks:
Wordplay - 4/10
Metas - 4/10
Vocabulary - 3/10
Structure - 1/10
Punches - 5/10
Opener - 4/10
Closer – 4/10
Personals – 3/10
Enjoyment – 1/10
Creativity - 2/10
Overall - 31/100
---------31%

thanx...uppppn ..................

thanx...uppppn ..................
__________________

here you go drop an honest vote on this battle right here mayn

uppn again bitches...some niggas need to get in here and vote on this shit

uppin on votes ppl get at this right here vote up on it

uppin on votes ppl get at thig thang right here holla

aye yo uppin on some votes yall niggas best get at this

upppn this...its been 3-0 for the last 2 weeks

Voted For: RED BEAM

RED BEAM got this,,,,,

he had better flow and way better structure even know it wasnt that goos...... lyrical ... your lines are way streched...... Red so are sum of you r lines .. but better than lyricals....

Punches were about tied but i think RED came harder witht aht /... toooo

RETURN THA FAVA ON MY BATTLES BELOW~~~~~

yo good lookn on the votes people...HONEST ones will be returned...thanx....uppn this people...one more vote, and im out of this battle untouched

This was feedback posted for RED BEAM
 

cant vote!! not enough posts but good battle here!

uppin on votes get at this here yall come on need votes

aiight uppin for more votes yall just get at this thing

uppin on votes get this up
one(one)

p.s. and get some real votes over here

upppppnnnnn this

Voted For: RED BEAM

beam: short and sweet, had mostly good hitters, a lil bit creative, some simple rhyme "simple" and "pimple", then more complex rhymes also "whirl" and "curl" not that complex but not wat a newb would use.
favorite bar:
"You prolly think like a diplomat, you love rockin pink
I guess i'll take out this old garbage, cause i learned you stink"
fav line:"when i beat you 5-0...i know you'll be loosin it"

lyrics: had some good hits also, he had more cause he wrote more so thats a pluse, didnt hit very hard at all, he was dissin but nothin had a core plot, each line was different, not much really went together except first bar and this one
"thinkin you "got connects on RV"
sorry cuzz i think you mean "burgers at arbys"
and that line was not even a hit, and if you use somethin with "rocky" it has to be phenominal or else its just stupid because its been played out to much and you didnt use it phenominally, that whole bar was just off nothin hittin at all, really look at this line and tell me wat is hard about it(and its not the rocky part either)
"ill serve you like employes servin coffe
get to cocky
and ill throw "punches" that will knock you out like "rocky"
i'll serve you like employees servin coffee, nope to soft to get my vote.