Help
 

hey yo i dont wana admit it but i need some help with my rhymes. can someone help me with my rhymes? id really appreciate it. here is my worst battle...............
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=158965

holla someone. :banghead:

PM me, dawg...

If you dont think i'm good enough to help, check my drops in the Open Mic and Cyphers..

a battle against you im just not feeling it/
what kinda gay name is Logistic/
That barely rhymes

come on dog now think/
what kinda of man puts his profile in pink/
Dat ain't a good punch

so now i cant tell if your a boy or a girl/
your mother told me you were both which made me hurl/
Very sad punch

this battle im taking it/
the only way you will win is if i get disqaulified for some shit/
Umm, still not good punch

looking at your record of wins i see you only have one/
nigga turning paler than Michael Jackson/
Look at your own record..

basiclly..think of better punches, vocab, n structure...

-Dabatos

the whole verse was off keep trying..

Sup keep writing it will come.

1~

everyone gets better at a point.. n i gotta admitt. i was like dat before also.. and so has everyone else!! if they say they wern't then they are liars!

yea, dude practise and u will get better... make freinds with a dictionary...

dats fucked up lol!

Just keep practicin kid ... Listen to some rap (that works)
Get a rhyme scheme ... Think of new punches/original ...

It'll come ...
But until then ... you suck .

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:)

^LMAO...

damn...

Critisim can be an artist's best friend or his downfall...
From the looks of things...you fallin...

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http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=158962

im only 14 people. lay off........................

^age aint a reason...

I could understand if you were like..7-8...but you're 14..

How old were you when you first heard rap, and then TRIED to rap?

rofl@his first post....classic.

so age who gives a fuck im 14..lots of us are..

i started listening to rap 2 and a half years ago...and when i first tryed to rap i didnt know anything i wrote a song that didnt rhyme..

hes 14.........

You dick! ..... He asked for help.... Not negativity...... Geese... Mind your own business if you gots shit to say... Damn......

Peace out! Case Closed~

.................................

^thats a freepost like shit...

You gotta post more then "............................", dawg...

Put some words in there. If you aint got shit to say, dont post..Easy right?

I was talkin' to Reloaded, dawg...

Ok..........................

you got alot of nerve saying that to me..i want to see of the guy asks for help again cuz i will help him...ill pm him so such yur nebie ass up wigka

hey yo can some body help me elevate?

upping for some elevation help..............

reloaded pm, me n ill help ya out....
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