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Empire vs socrates
Battle Rules:
6 - UNLIMITED Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting POETRY BATTLE TOPIC-terrorisim Minimum posts to vote: 500 Check in by: 11-29-04 at 10:02 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Socrates has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-26-04 10:50 PM.
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Empire has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-26-04 10:53 PM.
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He Didn't Know
He doesn't know what he's doing He doesn't know who he's hurting He just keeps on walking towards the door He was raised this way you can't blame him His father raised him this way This is what he believes is right His chest hurts, its constricted Barely breatheable, but he proceeds to enter The coffee shop is awful full this morning He takes a seat by the window He gazes down the street at his father His father smiles and nods very gently He closes his eyes flooding with anguish Not of those around him is he hurt by He doesn't know if this is right anymore He presses a button Noone screams in the place There is no time to scream His father gazes pleased by the light of the fire His son has accomplished what he was raised to do This is a moment for the family But as the boy's soul rises He doesn't know where he's going The rest are headed somewhere else He goes down and sees a devil Why is he here? He did Allah's bidding! He did what Father told him to do! But he is here forever now Why didn't his father tell him? He simply didn't know my first poem....ehh |
As the fire and lightening rain on the desolete land
Life slowly drains away like hourglass sands The world turns bodys burn innocent blood covers thier weopons Like a jigsaw puzzle of exisitence the people split into sections Fire rages armys are taken and unleashed on the already oppressed Until the oppressed grab thier swords and raise them to thier enemys necks Like teardrops of dragons of legend the blood slowly ignites Woman cry as thier men die and more are sent off into the fight The sea bubble in frustration trying to drown the hatred in its frothy waves A dark hoode figure sharpens his sickle as he stands over the graves The oppressed are called cowards yet only seek what is taken from them And only want respect for what they beleive is sacred to them Thunder crashes but what falls is not rain nor is light blocked from the sky Until the burning and screams exahaust of machines and dark smokes billow up and bring dark to the eyes How do you stop a man so willing to die? Who in nightmares hears crys of those no longer alive How do you say wars not the answer? when the cancer of death has eaten his heart How do you show him light? after a life s long in the dark The rubble crumbles and exahaustion and struggle weigh on the land Confusion sets and questions of WHY? formulate inside the mind of man Cowardly acts return cowardly acts the cycle continues .......war remains Poloticians fight with verbs words of hidden insuendos .....its all a game Its hard to understand how id feel as a man if the roles was reversed ........maybe id be the one with a bomb strapped to my shirt |
This was feedback posted for Socrates
I just wanna check the polls..
Werd up sons. Holla at cha boobies. |
Voted For: Empire
shit was dope good battle i picked empire cuz he went into a lot more detail with his words, socrates used good words but it was kind of straight to the point it didnt have as much detail as empires, it was very poetic and deep..good imagery, no hate to both empire got this tho good luck peace |
This was feedback posted for Empire
Uppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp pp
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Aww just shut up and drop in the text battle fool.
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I Might Decide To Not Accept And Look At Your Verse Go Ahead Say Something Slick:)
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Please.......don't........i'll.........cry.
='( |
Voted For: Empire
damn!! you really got a tite poem.... Empire: i felt like you stayed more on the poerty topic... also yours had very good flow which made ya poem goodthe structre was kinda messed but it didnt really matter i liked how you made the poem... real good.... and you improved on poerty SOc: to tell ya the truth...that was kinda weak....didnt really stay much on the poerty topic and lacked allot of basics of poerty...... sorry to say but empire really took the win hands down.... |
Voted For: Empire
empire def wont this battle. his poem was way more thorough and creative. But since this was socrates first i guess he can have a lil slack, but he still lost this one tho empire's just have more poetic elements holla at me http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=161121 http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=160089 |
Don't say rhyming.
Poetry can sometimes be much more poetic without rhyming. But ehh, it's a poetry battle so I ain't trippin. |
Voted For: Empire
Vote: EMpire Topic coverage: Empire - jus cos he came on a mo complex level Structure: (didnt judge dis, cos dnt hav 2 rhyme cos its a poem get me) Lyricism: Empire - mo complex sum nice big words in there.lol Flow: socrates - but jus coss it was so simplistic Feelin ( lil category i added maself) : Empire, soc snded like he jus posted a poem cos he had 2 cos he was battlin, Emps look like he talk time over dat shit get me Empire: 8.9/10 socrates: 7/10 Emp jus came on anuva level Check ma poetry link in sig - "Time" Return favour y'all....................................Peace |
Why exactly did you find it in yourself to vote on two of my battles again?
[/not caring anymore] |
Voted For: Empire
Empire - nice drop man, you got some good poetry skills...shit was real deep and you could really get into it. the ending is my favourite part. nicely done, good drop.....8.5/10 Socrates - for your first poem you didn't quite well...didn't come as strong as Empire, but you did pretty good. i liked your idea and all, but i just couldn't get into it as much as i could empires...keep writing poems and you could get pretty good at poetry...7/10 v/empire |
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