Dear,Dad
 

Dear, Dad I hope this letter finds u in the best of health..
Because my health aint best withought your pressence felt..
I had tough times from child to man..
As a teen i sold drugs and held guns..i was out of hand..
But only if u could see me now..
I bet ud be proud..
I traveled around the world..
I hope this makes u smile..
Because its been awile since i flashed a grin
my past was spent with strangers as parents
Anothe kid victim to foster care
It was some drastic shit..
U probally dont care..
Id be a liar if i said i hated u
Imjust tired of pretending..tired of faking u
I learned to ride life's bycycle all by myself..no thanks to u
No training wheels..no one to rub my bruises..
No discipline ..No encouragement..
I encourage my self!...
NO dad to watch over me...
Only God preserved my health..
You left me in a world all alone..
No one to look up too..No one to hold..
I bet u some where out there wandering... a lost soul
But u dont have to be ..Dad u can come home..Home to me[I][SIZE=2]...

damn....

this is some deep shyt...
the usual kat woulda just said "fuck you, pops!"... but you willing to give dude a chance that most absent fathers don't get... it takes a real big person to do some shyt like that.... nice drop man... (peep my thread in Lyricist Lounge ... looking for OM and Poetry pieces)

damn man...that was deep shit...like ill said most cats say fuck pops, but you were brave enough to say how you really felt...and thats tight man...keep droppin shit like this...i enjoyed reading this alot...9/10...keep it up man...~1~...

wow man, this is the deepest poem i've read this month, wow, i could also really feel the great emotion in this, and also, very very nice vocabulary, for someone that has been here shortly, your pretty good, much prop's, lookin forward to more of your work, when you can check out one of my poems

Really nice drop! It doesn't take a genius to see that this came straight from the heart and i loved the way you approached the topic. This has probly been done before but you made it yours. The emotion was sooooo good, i was really feeling everything you stated...It's a sort of cry for help but without losing your dignity, you found a perfect balance...Beautiful!

thanx for the support ma!

you ever go to a differ site?

yeah i have a another site i spit o called freestyleunderground.com
thats where i oringinally wrote this piece

hmm very nice, much props

thanx for the support my man

That was tight, I felt the heat from your heart then. It was done really well, i don't think anyone can diss that one. Keep it goin', keep it flowin' man

thanx my nigga thanx for the love

that is some deep stuff man
the flow was there, i really liked the idea
u making hot stuff dawg, good job

thanx man i was wonderin naw mean cuz alotr of niggas been hatin not wantin to give me my props but i know im tight especially coming from freestyle underground
aint nothin but lyricist over there for real but ne ways thanx my nig

I don't care if people use this as a personal, but I fucking cried when I was done. This hits home pretty bad. My dad just moved out so I can feel it. Now on to rating.

Aight imagry, bicycle is a nice metaphor. Ok vocab and good flow. Your rhyming kept going off and on which isn't great, but for a lot of parts it worked. Good drop overall, work on some more wordplay and metaphors. 8/10

Return the favor by either dropping an honest vote on my topical, or leaving feedback. Either way please check it out. px

thanx it might read that way but if u ever been in the booth or rapped to your self u know that u can make anything even out while your rappin with your breathin and patterns thats how i do it i write exactly whati feel exactly how it comes out an di make the structure as i spit it somesongs that ive written one stanza is longr than the other some shorter but the way i spit it evens it all out

uppin.....
4....................
............votes...........

this was a real nice piece, the emotion was felt....and you came good with it....concept may have been done before but you seemed to switch it and so it seemed original...anyway keep it up 8/10....

thanx for the feed back !!!

This poem is deep, nice vocabulary and content, you have a lot to say, and its good to let it out, very well written, please, dont up your work more then 4 times....its hard enough i have to erase em all, this just gives others chances to get their work viewed, you've got talent, so write more..1

thanx 4 the feed yo!!