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[rate]~In Love With You~[merry christmas]
This is a rap I wrote to my gurl for Christmas...Tell me what yall think PLEASE!! I really need to know before Xmas (tomorrow) Thanx..
This not-a-lie, lately, you've been on-my-mind The truth-is, a friend like you-is, hard-to-find Helped me walk-when-blind, let me know when I crossed-a-line An angel-true, that helped me make-it-thru, the hardest-times A star-that-shined, its hard-but-I want-you-to-feel-this No gimmicks-shit, ya friendship-is, one-in-a-million Believe-it-it's-true, you a queen, I can see the genius-in-you And I wrote-this-rap, to show-you-that, I'm thinking-of-you This girls-my-queen, she means more than the world-to-me And a world, without her, just isn't the world-for-me Helped me learn-to-see, with an ass, that'll SLUR-YA-SPEECH! Told me not to get-high, because I'd get-by, with her-with-me I'm in love-with-you, this love-is-true, this queen-is-mine Forever's-a-pact, walk to heaven-and-back, to see-you-smile The love-of-my-life, the woman that I want-as-my-wife I'd leave-the-Earth to NEVER see-you-hurt, just wanna be loving-you-right Tell me what yall think! I need some feed before I give this to my gurl...Thanx and Happy Holidays yall...1 |
werd...good drop...as always, your best category wuz the multies....i think she'll like it...yo, who is it for fam....hit me up witter name/i wont tell her dawg/who is it...
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Its for Tynisha dawg...We still strong thru 2 years...Thanx for the look dawg...I really hope she likes it...I got her some other shit too...but anywayz...uppin this bitch!! 1
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Upping for more feedback on this...
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yeah dawg good drop. shit if dat dont get shawdy idk wut will. lol.
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Post 2 links from 2 other battles that you have left good feedback in, or else this open mic will be closed..
-I. Mind |
im feelin the drop.......... there were some spots where u didnt rhyme all that well, but the multies were really good and im sure she's gonna like it......
*goes to copy and paste for his gurl* this is kinda late, cuz ya prolly not gonna get this in time, but w/e...... its kinda short, but it prolly shouldnt be that long if its some lil thing for ur girl on christmas...... keep it up....... |
Thanx man...Uppin for more feed on this...Btw...Heres some links...
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=165955 http://community.rapverse.com/showb...098#post1844098 |
Uppin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Uppin...much too many views and far too little feedback...Uppin...I will return the favor...Thanx...1
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A'ight...this was pretty good...like FuxJustAWord said...there are some parts that dont rhyme that well...flow can be improved, so can structure...a decent drop wit some nice emotion anyway...return the favor. Peace.
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=167326 |
No doubt...Thanx for the feed...Can someone please point out the parts that didn't rhyme?? 1
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Nice song fam....Shit That could get some fine dimez...no what im sayin homeboi...
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haha...no doubt...I gave it to my gurl today...and...well...It was a good Christmas...lol...thanx for the feed man...uppin...1
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Yo Deep Shit Hommie, I Was Feeling The FLow On This One, The Over All Concept Was Tight, Vocabulary Was There, Every Thing Was Decent...10/10..Yo Hit Me Up If You Ever Want To Collab
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Wow...thanx man...Good lookin out dawg...Ima hit u up on a collab REEL SOON so be ready...lol...thanx for the peep...uppin...1
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upping this...1
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CHRISTMAS #1
RHYME my corrupt fate had me up late on Christmas Eve In a blue dress with true breasts, guess a guy duty is to believe I can supply booty to him, so I’m a fly beauty they try retrieve Like dogs do bones they wanna screw me at home when mom’s gone My red lips accommodate kiss hips create twists soft like foam So hot down there juice around everywhere panties wet and strong Candies get sewn in stitches hormone itches they’re homegrown Sex slop thrill like a hot grill have a pot filled with goods So men have a deft spree like KFC they be fingering and could Be licking the chicken at the same time sex tame a mind Oh brother I know mother will be surprised when she find Me waiting for Santa “girl what up? “Go to bed” oh no I dread This, “Mother I wanna see Santa” oh no dear not in a mini-skirt red You’ll put plenty dirt in his head just go to bed I said” “mom you misled” “oh girl you just nineteen juicy coo-chee have grown fat and brown But you’re not ready and hot enough for a Christmas sweaty cock going down Deep in your juicy bold coo-chee hole Santa will go crazy in your gravy girl” “But mother can he lift my dress get a wet gift to impress him? I’ll bravely hurl Coo-chee back to him but dear what you know about men? “I know a lot I know they get on top and drop cock inside and ride RHYME the talk was hot With mother |
Ok...leave me some feed!!! Uppin!!!
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^^^^^^^^uppin^^^^^^^^
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aiyo black.......since we was in a crew 2getha can u help me out wit somethin... check my new open mic and tell me wetha i should put it in a verse 4 a song or just use it 4 a poem.....its called Serenity
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aight man...will do...sry bout the crew man...
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By the way...Uppin this bitch...1
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this was real nice....i felt the emotion you had in there....it was quite deep....8/10
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this was kinda deep man...i felt this shit...this was a nice coo drop...6/10
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Thanx for the feed yall...It is appreciated...Uppin for more on this mother fucka!! 1
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Uppin ^^^^^^^^^
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this was a good drop....fuck nigga....u are multi-madness...lol....this was pretty good......8/10...stay up mayn
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Lol...thanx for the feed man...I appreciate it...Uppin...1
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