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Brick Wall Ft. Kilo704
Brick Wall . . Me . . we used to kick it wen we were young, i thought i knew
.who u were, but i was wrong, u werent holdin true u were holdin back, and retreatin back home alone locked the door on ur soul, and they key was gone and now im starin at a brick wall that ur buildin up every brick represents the trust... that uve given up its cemented with the lies u believe from other people but i can see through- all that shit that i could breathe through all that shit, and see you, a cryin lil girl, in ur tiny lil world and everytime uve been lied to, its grown and unfurled another wall goes up, until ur surrounded by all four no windows now no door, no more to explore no more of those nights, u wont even let in the light of hope, with no cope of the world, this- is not life u hide from the hugs, u tried to hide from the love built a roof from the heavens, so u can hide from above ............................u WERE-- a diamond in the rough........ . . Go Kilo . . . damn gurl.......so much anger built up n it filled ya wit rage/ u enclosed within ya soul seemingly trapped in a cage/ if only it was somebody 2 help u ease dat stress u retain/ and find a way 2 solve all tha problems dats rackin ya brain/ it seems ya life is drownin in tha quicksand of hardships/ lost ya moms last year ya pops beat u n fill ya head wit shit/ he says nobody gives a damn but dont let him get ya down/ wheneva, whereva, 4 eva, i'll always hold ya down n b around/ hold ya head up high n neva let tha evil people c ya sweat/ u goin thru some hard times but God aint done wit u yet/ dis goes out 2 anybody goin thru problems wetha big or small/ hold ya head up n get ya ass out from behind da brick wall/ . . . Back To Me For The Faster Flow . . . And now you gotta whole home, no 'fones', no 'tone', for ur protection??? u wanna teach a lesson, no 'strings attached', no 'cords', no 'connection' we were the 'same', thought perfection, but now we sit in different sections tore down all ur 'mirrors', too afraid to look, and see that i'm your 'reflection' its my recollection that you sed we'd be together 'till death be mentioned i know i showed signs of reprehension, but you're mine till the endin ....................Girl.......................... .......its time, for ur resurrection Cause I've been checkin mics, for too long, you needa check your self help me help your self, So we can find that key on the vacant shelf but you keep persistin, i thought we were in love, but, youu wont listen your love im missin, we went from hugs and kissin, to shrugs and dissin this is my final position, u say im the one, and one chance is wat i was given i blew it, i knew its hard livin, but knock down the door and have me forgiven u cant even be seen from above, our love cant be like the fall of a dove cuz we go together, a hand and a glove, through a push and a shove ............................Ur the lonely wall, and im the wreckin ball fulla love . . . Wat u think??? especially my last verse.... kinda keystyled right now (keep, leave out??) u have 24 hours to drop a link with proper feed back if u dont understand plez read the link on top of the page......... http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=170871 |
uppin...............................
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uppin for some feedback
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Damn yall!!!! Shit was off the meters...Crazy hot...Feeling all the emotion and the topic is definetely one that I can relate to, which makes it all the more better...Good flow and verses from both of yall...Nothing short of what I expected...Yall gave me more...Uppin this for my fam...1
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uppin............................................. ...................
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god damn, slept on as hell
bump, bump |
God damnit..... can i get more than ONE Feedback
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flow!!!!!
the whole thing has a perfect flow. no fall's. This has a good topical substance to it. Good heart felt peice. good rhyme's from both a you. I like the way you swtched style's and came with a faster flow in your second verse fjaw. 8/10 good drop |
Shit was hot. Nothing I can see wrong with this... I can relate and I know you put some thought into this.
I'd give it a 9/0 .. because I don't give 10's, lol |
I like its strucutre it has meaning it is a killer flow, I liked it and I do not care if anyone else did! But I loved it but hey keep workin offf of that and the closure could use a lil touch up and keep elevating on that but over all hell of a rhyme game;)
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uppin .
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That shit is ill. You gotta get the audio of that. I wanna listen so if u make 1 give it to me.
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Nice drop, I was feeling Kilo's verse most. Get rid of the last verse, to me it throws off the mood and tempo. I can hear that on a cd, but you need to touch it up, the flow is perfect, you need a better 3rd verse. Put in a refrain and you've got a track for a cd.:thumbup:. px
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uppin!! money for feed damnit
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yo nice shit, nice flow. i think u shood keep tha last verse, i liked it. check out my open mic "straight gangsta shit" http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1869260 werd
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thisll prolly be my last up if i get some feed
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ok, wen i get one more feed ill stop uppin......... but its gotta be a decent one
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shit was hot. nice vocab and structure.i loved tha flow. it was off the charts. keep doing ya thing people. 10/10.
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shit was hot 10/10...4real
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thanx for the love yall....... im alil pissed tho that i only got 2 thousand posters givin feed..... i mean, no hate to any of yall ( u might even be aliases) but there are juss some cats who have seen hundreds and wont give 10's out so much.... i dont wanna think i have a chance at an OM of the month sometime soon without gettin some feed by someone who had one once.......
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Its Not That Easy 2 Say Goodbye /believe Me Someday Maybey Ill Figure Out Why/ Tryin Ta Raze My Little Girl An Become A Good Father / Tha Last Thirty Dayz Ive Gottin Stronger/ Goin Ta Court For Custody / Lifes To Short Weres Tha Rest Of Me/ I Pray 2 God Everthings Gonna Be Ok/ What More Can I Say To Make This Pain Go Away Cb83
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^^huh??????????????????????
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Id Like Ta Take A Miniute Ta Share A Thought/ I Dont Care If Ya Feel It Or Not/tha Mistakes We Make Create /some Of Are Hate/if We Could Just Find Piece It Ed Be Great But When Your Times Up An Your 2 Late /tha Rhymes Fucked Up But It Took 2 Sec To Make Cb83
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^^^^ wrong forum buddy :thumbup:
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u have 24 hours to drop a link with proper feed back.....
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=170871 im just doing my job........ |
I thought fuxjusaword first was coo..........regular vocab but coo rhyme scheme
nice multies.......it was deceint didnt really like kilo's verse.............i didnt the bars at the end of each line....... and the verse overall.........was kinda boring........... like the third verse.........was a lil stretch but ok...........liked the multeis...... structer was kool to...... overall it was deceint drop............good job......... |
huh? i thought we dropped links tha day dis was posted
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fuck yeah i dropped 2 links cuz it was like tha 5th post in dis thread...........
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^yea look alil farther down the first page..... ull see em.....
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ok uppin this shit........ my pms aint workin neither...... im offended, lol
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god damnit.......... 5 ups with no feed ^==============^
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THIS IS BULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLease!! i willl worship the ground u walk on if u give feed.... i might aas well amke a fuckin new open mic if no ones gonna crit this
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fall at my feet den nigga......lol just playin dis kilo jus changed my name so i could battle. uppin da thread.................
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Damn im Lovin This verses Especailly yours FJAW N e ways I Liked it all I could really relate To your Topic Mayne If i was To even mention my favorite bars out of yall rymes it would be
FJAW it seems ya life is drownin in tha quicksand of hardships/ lost ya moms last year ya pops beat u n fill ya head wit shit/ And Kilo: help me help your self, So we can find that key on the vacant shelf but you keep persistin, i thought we were in love, but, youu wont listen But hade Plenty More that I Liked really It was hot and i Hope Yall keep up the Good Work |
Nice Topic,Like How You Started Ya Verse Off Woulda Been Hott If Wass On Audio.It Wass Some Vokab Through Out Both Verses I Like That.Kilo's Verse Wass To Simple Used Simple Rhymin Words,But It Wass Ok.Liked How You Stepped In Durin Tha Beggining Of Each Verse And Put A Heading.Iight,If You Had Better Vokab And Didn't Use "/" In Ya Lines I Woulda Gave You A 10 But You Didnt So You Get a 9/10 Simply Bcus You Had Some Errors Overall Nice Drop.....................
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Yo Cus I Left Feed Now Run Me Mih Money................
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Fuck-Jaw and kilo pretty good combo. yall have good chemistry
the whole thing flowed pretty well and was easy to read. i like alot of the rhymes yall had in there. also yall chose a pretty deep topic which is usuall hard to write about but it made sense and went along pretty well. yall had good metaphors in there too. ight son i dropped my feed back here's my account number gimme my 20 grand. lol XPETBK-34862 |
damn nigga u got all dat rv dough drop me some 2 lol just kiddin........uppin 4 feed
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lmao at only gettin feed bcuz im givin out money
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