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Picture Person-Part 1
yo this is truly personal I don't give two fucks if its ammusing if anyone knows me they know this shit's true and this is part 1 of this..If I choose to leave my home..I will put our part 2 and it will be the last time you'll see me... peace..this is life... -Indeph Picture Person-part 1 I don't wanna leave...but I have to... I don't have to....but I wanna leave.. for me to continue my presne.. I gotta choose one of these.. this not a duck duck goose sutation..seriously.. this could be the last time..you hearing of me..[repeatx2] New clothes purchased soley for a new pose..murders certainly.. escaping cases..I have no pateince for loopholes.. wool coats to get warm,for the winter..although burn in the summer.. because you keep the coat on..to cover whats under.. wearin the same shirt..because its all thats left..that fits.. you say that's it..money making tactics..slips into a habit.. then you gotta produce your spending as more then your buckets.. because its either you owing money..or you running with nothing.. I have urges to slip into this life..but what kept me I gribbed into a mic.. which kept me from leaving my home right now I swear to god.. I sware to yaw..me leaving I'd even be better off..Helping out will probably.................................be stepping out..I might have to test it out.. so I listen to music..and whats true is..they say..Nas dropped out in 8th grade.. which caught me by surprise...which made me think..I'f I should die.. nobody who be aware or even care..If I'm alive.. I don't wanna leave...but I have to... I don't have to....but I wanna leave.. for me to continue my presne.. I gotta choose one of these.. this not a duck duck goose sutation..seriously.. this could be the last time..you hearing of me..[repeatx2] I been talking to the council..Distilled thank god I found you.. you talked me out of it..flow told me what I'd ammount to.. Da Vinci,Fi-del to paralell..everyoen of you had me.. when my hell was self..the thank you sessions over..I'm getting older but doing more crying..I can't eat..I;m starvin..I'm on diets.. and I don't realise it..expreinces in visions..so in the dark.. I'm still frightened..sounds silly..but everyday I get an ow feeling physical and menatally..someone's negatively feeling me.. either real..or mystik..real or is it..at least is company..Im still gon miss it.. have you ever been fearing a parent..to the point when shivver.. they bitter..so they get the hittign as soon as I enter..ammusing or not this my life..I can't change it..maybe fucks could of gave it..If I was famous brutualy people are true to me..well I'm finished....... don't mind me focuse on what you can be... I don't wanna leave...but I have to... I don't have to....but I wanna leave.. for me to continue my presne.. I gotta choose one of these.. this not a duck duck goose sutation..seriously.. this could be the last time..you hearing of me..[repeatx2] my face pressed u against..clothing and acceserios shops.. lookin at phat jeans..wishin to own the business..just thinking "thats me" getting yelled at about grades..getting stabbed in my face.. I don't exaguarate..it just really aggetiates..living under a roof.. where' your whole life's something to lose.dudes proving there manhood by harassin the bastard..who going through to much to fight.. getting hit as I sand there..waiting for an answer..I just get madder.. but don't act at it..I was just to famished..and in an instant they vanished.. I couldn't tell.I had my hoodie on with my head down..I wanan go to bed now and Im gonna be fed how?..my stumache rumbles..like my fuckin uncles.. I should leave right now..I could die in another jungle.. and still be known as some dude..only if I want to.. so right now I'm just lookin..never blinkin thinking..where should I run too.. I don't wanna leave...but I have to... I don't have to....but I wanna leave.. for me to continue my presne.. I gotta choose one of these.. this not a duck duck goose sutation..seriously.. this could be the last time..you hearing of me..[repeatx2] |
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man shit....thats some tight shit....very emotional and i feel the pain of you in hunger;)...your vocab was great and some good work with vocabulary...very good verse with creativty and wordplay...stucture was decent and the flow was fuckin dope...i see you gettin better n shit too...and you wrtie thsi dope shit up so quick and i also liked how you used my name in that line;)....haha...very good peice....keep working on your stuff cuz your multis were great in there with that vocab damn you so much better then me honestly keep your wokr up but my favorite line i eman bar without my name in it..would have to be:
... I'm still frightened..sounds silly..but everyday I get an ow feeling physical and menatally..someone's negatively feeling me.. ^^i jsut liekd how you used good multis..and dont tell me i dotn know multis cuz some cats jsut think its rhyming in more then one place but you need vocab to do that and you did...very well good peice homie... no need to rate such dopiness...pz you still owe me feed on my OM...its in the sig..please read to.. |
do i have to leave feed g's laweez fine i read it all no skimmin it was hella good i loved the flow such a good piece i go through the same shit u do.......not! hehe but seriouslyif u kill urself ill murder u namsaying?
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he would be talking about rv cats...to anser your dumb question;)
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this was some tight shit Indeph...it was very deep and emotional...i liked the structure the flow and you had some good creativity and wordplay...nice shit...keep spittin cuz...10/10
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Fuck man seriously tight. From the heart from the heart. I hear you man.
"wool coats to get warm,for the winter..although burn in the summer.. because you keep the coat on..to cover whats under.. wearin the same shirt..because its all thats left..that fits.. you say that's it..money making tactics..slips into a habit.. then you gotta produce your spending... " I relate man... You know what your doing... as Parallel said no need to rate... keep goin |
This was the deepest piece iv'e seen on rv, everything was surreal, and some aspect's i can relate to myself. good drop man, looking forward to part 2, if you drop it.
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wow, shit was def. deep... emotion was flowing like a morning piss. i cant wait for part 2 cuz if u brought part 1 like this, part 2 to is gunna bring RV to there knees... nice work though 10/10 ... stay fresh
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i really liked it it was tight like da others said i read it all the way through more than once
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Very Nice Piece Mayn...
Loved The Emotion And Imagry... You Held A Nice Story That Never Got Off Topic... Steady But Unique Flow That Never Fell Off... Really Nothing To Complain About... A Real Tite Piece... The Hook Was Pretty Hott Aswell, Would Sound Nice On Audio... Stay Up Homaaaaay... .One. |
yo, my cuz SR$ told me bout you.....dis shit was hot to def.....i'll give it a 10/10 on behalf of DPB of Detroit.....i know when SR$ see dis he gone say tha same.....keep dis shit up homie, i'll be lookin out 4real
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that was really deep shit man... somethin peeps can really relate to in ur stituation....
u had really nice multis that did NOT take away from ur verse or got u off topic.... in some parts it had a unique rhyme scheme that made it really good to me..... i was feelin the beginnin part about the clothes and keepin the big coat on in the summer...... had nice metas in it...... u also did one of the best jobs at closin each of ur verses with great quotable lines.... dope overall...... im not good at leavin ratings, but its somewhere between 8.5 and 10 definetely...... dont leave us man! |
that was the greatest feed I've ever got ever ever ever
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uppin this for my fuckin homie...
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^>>>>>>>>>>>>>^
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this was deep mayne....you could tell this was some real ish........the emotion was crazy mayne..could real feel you on this one..the rhymin was nice..mutlis set it out perfectly..and the structure was awesome....the hook was nice too...
'wool coats to get warm,for the winter..although burn in the summer.. because you keep the coat on..to cover whats under..' ^^that line was hot...some real ish myne..ma favourite line..over all i actually liked reading this piece..u got a knack for this kind of writin..keep em comin mayne..wun return the favour in my open mic pleases..pz http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=171262 |
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fine don't crit my shit....don't give two fucks
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spfffffffffffff
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^)___________(^ jesus fuickin chirst
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jesus fuckin christ
is this not getting feed cause its not a collab?FUCK |
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picked out my favs:
New clothes purchased soley for a new pose..murders certainly.. escaping cases..I have no pateince for loopholes.. - no shit, nice open then you gotta produce your spending as more then your buckets.. because its either you owing money..or you running with nothing.. - a bit jumbly, but good. i agree. getting yelled at about grades..getting stabbed in my face.. I don't exaguarate..it just really aggetiates..... - too typical to be right. nice job. |
i gotta nominate dis for tha hall of fame kid...mos def....i give it a 10/10...simply perfect...nothin but tha best from you...~1~
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Hey Look You May Think I'm Crazy But You Don't Do Your Job Proper The Minute I Get A Response You Come Up With An Excuse To Close My Post Wtf
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Yo Seriously,I told everyone no freestyles here,and it keps coming
here's the rap you dropped cats on this board have trash desires and flash fires// that don't burn yet you won't turn// to my post. chump niwtit with no funk benefits// in rap your brains and mainframes are designed for pissing only. you wear fabrics slick but just rabbits trixs// and your rhymes for the birds bitches got minds of nerds// I'm mean and unique with extreme heat yall bitches soft like cream of wheat// hey fakes pass me a plate hell i'm hungry and lonely Now copy and paste that and post it elsewhere and save it,I wouldn't waste your rap like that seriously. I appreciate you being active,its just freestyle om's are not allowed anymore |
Already Have But You Can't Copy And Paste Your Name On The Book Of Life Read Revelation Very Interesting Son
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Quit freeposting NOW!!!!
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This was some deep shit... i could tell by the way u wrote it... your rhyming was pretty good but some of it could use some work... lines werent really stretched all in all id say it was really good because of the emotion in it...9/10
Drop some feed on my new open mic... its called The New Testamin n im just about 2 go post it... ~Stay up Fam~ ~Flow2crazy~ |
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Okay, this is one of the best drops I've read here so far...It all came straight from the core, the emotion was so raw and deep. The vocab you used was suited for this, not too many big-shot words, kept it nice and to the point. The hook was hot but the emotion...can't get over it...just how real this was...many can relate to what you have written and even if they don't, it doesn't take a genius to see this is d-o-p-e and straight from the heart...
Props to you! This should go in Hall Of Fame people! DQ |
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Indeph Foo', I don't even know what To Say To This one.
I read it a while back, and i was just like speechless. Mo Fucka, too dope. Bitch. :thumbup: |
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