final vs •Para¶el•
Battle Rules:
16-22 lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Topic- Feelings Of War... you leave your home town because of a war and it was going to be bombed...so there was panic and you come back and its in ruins...describe your feelings about the ruins or about the war and everything else involved... 5 days to drop after check in -Parallel Minimum posts to vote: 700 Check in by: 01-18-05 at 03:24 PM Must drop verse in 7200 minutes after check in. Win by forfeit |
•Para¶el• has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-15-05 03:26 PM.
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final has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-15-05 04:46 PM.
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Im just posting to see my sig.........lmao........
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yo final get at me with your collab verse...i jsut fisnhed mine im about to work on the battle verse now...but yea PM it to me or something...and let me know the fonts n shit you want it...pz
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Alright i kinda twisted the topic but its to do with a war do i kinda dissed this real annoying ugly fat bitch in my class in school i hope you feel i wa son topic n shit but here anyway...:
Feelings of War.. When you always said shit to me, wasn’t Terrifying Saying you’ll get people after me is just like Lying Your ugly, I aint never afraid to tell a straight up Poser Get off my shoulder, feels like im losing my Composer I hated to see your face at school, always so Scary Even others agreed and hided there eyes Temporary You can go ahead and mumble, trying to be Native You look white and sound like a man, so Negative I wish you never came to are school, no really Leave Makes me feel like dropin dead, for a little Relieve Your rolls shake so much, I almost jumped Away In ways that cant be said, pretty much leave, Okay Mumbling more words, I didn’t ask for you to Confess Its no test, you wont elevate & change the Process You don’t even have a atoms-apple, such a Mystery Your like a tom boy might as well get plastic-Surgery Are you mentally challenged cause you go to Resource Or forced, probably just dumb on the wrong Course Acting like your in the cool group, but was Rejected Fact got up we could tell you were never Respected You didn’t even have the intelligence of a 1 year Old Almost says your name wouldn’t get out like it Should Your momies like your little maid, slave and your Nurse Everything in your life went wrong, probably a Curse.. -Parallel |
turned on the television a state of panic is announced that world war 3 is coming with countries we cant pronounce took the first plane to the farthest place where we were safe from the united states i dont wanna become another grave 4 years pass to be exact 4 and 5 months, the war is done immediately come back to New York,death lingers im stunned buildings crumbled, steel bent, with the dead body stench walked and stumbled,saw limbless children the blast left their legs swept i wept and continued further to notice a certain building empire state...worse then the world trade, water spilling entire manhatten at ground level no towers scraping the sky central park destroyed no place for kids to play on slides radio is heard in the distance a man describing the situation even though the war is finished they still didnt start the re-creation how long has this city been like this, underground ruins the worst example being shown to the people and students its stupid the admirable bush expressed as the best and re-elected but this faggot made this like it is no doubt this is expected now were nervous everyday, too anxious we cant sleep nothing but grief and misery plaguing the land of the free this scene is coming soon if everything stays as they are now our life,spouses, and kids gone...from bombs deployed in your hometown |
lets get some votes...now.......uppinizzle......./
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This was feedback posted for •Para¶el•
nobody votes on topicals...might as well stop doing them ...................................
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This was feedback posted for final
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uppin for some people to vote..................damn
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omg uppin...........................................
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please can we get votes...........................
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we need votes badly...come on..................uppin
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we havent even got 1 vote yet OMG where are the votes at...
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This was feedback posted for final
(since i dont have 700 posts....my vote is not official.....lol)
my "unofficial vote" goes to final. basically.......you stayed on point bruh. para came tight too, however he drifted off of the topical that he had specifically set up....lol. so, going by the official rules of this match, final succeeds. final... your verse was dope. there were nice descriptions and alot of emotion in your drop. i was able to visualize the ruins you described with ease. your structure was cool and you had decent vocab as well. the only advice that i could give you....work on the flow a little bit. it seemed as though a few of your lines were forced, but other than that.......nice job homie. you got down. para... you had a sick verse as well. its too bad that you switched up the direction of the topical......that was what hurt you here. if anything, next time....leave the topic simple so that way you can play with it some more. your structure was damn near flawless and i liked your vocab. you had a clean steady flow throughout the verse.....so thats a plus. some of your lines were pretty funny, (haha) nice.....nice. i noticed in a few places that you hardly rhymed, try working on that some next time. keep up the good work fellas. please return the favor. 50 vs. the super... http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=173725 thank you. oner... s.v. |
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