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Personify vs •Para¶el•
Battle Rules:
16-30 lines Topic: Essence of Time Crew Battle:The Establishment vs. Non-Phixional Con.Tentz No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting 5 days after check in's...try and check right away as soon as possible...then no oen will call you a bitch;) Minimum posts to vote: 300 Check in by: 01-25-05 at 09:59 PM Must drop verse in 7200 minutes after check in. |
•Para¶el• has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-22-05 10:04 PM.
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Personify has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-22-05 10:25 PM.
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alright i kinda wrote this about me and my past days as a younger child back when i was 5 to 12 or so...but yo check it...only vote if you understand it please..:
...Essence of Time.. Back when I was young, I greeted life a Disturbance People suggested questions that didn’t make Sense Or it was just that I was to young to know, Mentally I didn’t have a disability, my life was just Structured But in time when I started to grow up, the curse Cured I learned more about life & the essence’s was Insured The imagery was off and I couldn’t see the Picture Other people might of thought I was just Immature Some thought I needed ratlin but I was just Young Compounded in the days of life, what went Wrong I was a little child confused and couldn’t think Right Lots doubting me, but im guaranteed to shine Bright Taking life as a surprise, seeing less of Originality A real pocket full when I can never think Naturally I had to break the haters and run from the Debaters Trying to stay away from the creations of the Creators And then parents nagging on me for my Homework Trying to stay normal & stop myself from going Berserk God in the background watching over me, Forever Ready for anything that hits, me & god are Together God resting over my shoulder, cause of my Policy’s Motivation always there to move me, Independently So the essence’s stay to my brain at all times, Properly And now I know everything will stay together, Instantly |
Alpha Warmth is disappearing as I look around, Moreover, watch as I leave the home that I found, I object to this decision, God hear my sound! I refuse to be cut from which I once was bound. Mezzo My home is nothing now, I cannot remember, What sparked this ember to engage my anger? Why do I feel as if my life is nothing but sand, That some man can end it with the press of his hand? I look as I feel, helpless and without control, Outside my body is warm but inside I feel cold. So many changes impact me I can hardly move, Having to leave my old home yet again I do not approve. Why must I lose everything to try and regain it back? Is there something wrong with me? What do I lack? I once crawled, walked, but now I must run, To try and keep up with the life of my son. I thought retirement was easy, meant you were done, I have a remaining stretch to go though, last one. Omega Once proud and tall reduced to a foreign figure, The presence of my old strength inside me still lingers. God cursed my life, from the birth until my death, He made sure I had pain for every single breath. The changes in my body and mind cursed many lives, People don’t know how many times I wished I’d die. But when it comes to meet him, I will say I loved it, That I cherished every day, perhaps every minute. In the end I question my self, what really is time? Is it the essence of our existence, or the existence of our mind? |
nice drop man...this ones gonna be a close one....well lets get soem votes..uppin
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Word, can't wait for the votes. If they ever come :/
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This was feedback posted for •Para¶el•
Checking the polls here.....................................
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Voted For: •Para¶el•
this one was hard becuase you both did a good job congrats guys but sadly one has to win and I have to go with him, becuase his imagry and vocab was good opener-closure was good his emotion was a little better but you both had that but he had it as if I was in this topical and lived it myself these are the lines that helped him. I didn’t have a disability, my life was just Structured But in time when I started to grow up, the curse Cured I learned more about life & the essence’s was Insured The imagery was off and I couldn’t see the Picture Other people might of thought I was just Immature Some thought I needed ratlin but I was just Young Compounded in the days of life, what went Wrong 8/10 rt the fav on da links |
thanks alot glad you see i had good imagery and vocab....one thing i for sure had better was vocab...good looks...uppin
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This was feedback posted for •Para¶el•
Checking the polls paralel didnt want me to vote, oh well.
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^yea he was gonna vote on are battle but i didnt want it to seem like a d/r..cuz me and him are homies.....but uppin anyway
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Ya, well Para no hate but sometimes your verses didn't rhyme, wondering why no one is seeing that. Still a close battle. uppin
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^young and wrong didnt rhyme but all the others did...if you disagree then you need to learn how to rhyme with non perfect words...
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I found 2. One line ended with mentally which didn't rhyme with anything, and then young and wrong. The ending sort of rhymed, but all they were were ly. Doesn't matter to me though. Uppin.......
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This was feedback posted for Personify
good luck to both. merk em personify..................
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Voted For: •Para¶el•
•Para¶el•:your storyline was pretty good here, and you practically stayed on topic on this piece here Vocab was nice, hardly any mistakes, had a good balance between the complex and basic shit here. The emotion on ur drop was there, could've used a little more imagery, but it was all good here. Your structure was in place and not stretched everywhere and your flow was good too. But overall you had a good drop... Personify: Your structure was aight in ur drop, the flow was pretty good, and the vocab was good here too. Nice storyline by you, but overall you had a good drop also, nutting much though Overall: Kind of a close battle here, but •Para¶el• took this one though, just had a better drop to it... No Hate To You Though Personify |
Least this is getting voted on. If I lose I request a rematch Para :)
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lol........fine with me....but yo personfy um mentally rhymes with disabilty look...and then i used emotion..but why are we complaining elts be kool about it ight...
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Voted For: •Para¶el•
seriously u get this easyli i got to say, Parallel:Your vocab was dope,reminds me of eminem,i really was feeling this piece,everytime i vote i copie and past the best line but now i should copie and past the verse lmao very good,the structure was perfect,this flowed(idk if we can say that lol) Personify: reading your verse after reading parallel's verse is like,i want to read parallel's verse again,no hate but true,good structure,vocab was cool,nice flowing(once again lol) overall cool battle but i have to say Parallel Vote:Parallel |
ight ight......................................uppin... .....
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uppin.............................................
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Man I figured people would vote on this. Uppin....
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Voted For: •Para¶el•
Þaяallεl - Good spit man, you followed the topic well, flowed very well... and had some creative thinkin' in there.. with good emotion. 8.5/10 Golden.Days - Yours flowed very good, didnt rhyme is some places, but showed a good picture in my head and followed topic well. 8/10 Vote - Þaяallεl |
4-0 about to KO this kat...lets geet 1 more voe.....uppin
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Voted For: Personify
great battle...props to both flow-golden.days, parallels verse the first lines of each bar were good but then the second lines on a lot of them were too short...they didnt flow right, structure doesnt matter to me so theres really no point in keeping it all together, all you need is a good syllable count which golden.days had... imagery-none, didnt sense enough imagery from both...both had a significant amount of emotion though, but imagery was just lacking from both in my opinion emotion-golden.days, parallels just didnt feel as emotional...golden.days verse you had to think more to get the whole picture which is great...he used certain words and put them in certain places so that you knew what was happening but at the same time you had to go a little deeper...and thats what held me into his verse beginning/end-golden.days, the layout he used was great and this is what took the win...the beginning was a good intro it didnt jump right into the verse and the ending had a nice line overall i think golden.days had a better verse but both brought some good shit...no hate good luck to both peace |
Sorry man, no KO. Uppin...........................
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lmao...........................uppin............//
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uppin............................................. ....
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Voted For: Personify
Checking the polls............................................. . Removed |
GOD DAMN IT. I keep forgetting to hit feedback. I'll PM strobe.
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Voted For: Personify
i say personify took this one.. more emotion... i like the structure.. it flows decent.... had good imagery.. just i think u overused some vocab.. and parralel u force rhymes way too much.. u really need to work on that.. and ur flow.. topical pieces should flow too.. soo good job to both im just feeling personify's more due to the good imagery and the good emotion.. but try to fix that vocab stuff.. and parralel watch out for forced rhymes... |
^ thats a crew vote........................wtf mate
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Voted For: •Para¶el•
Alright this was a very close battle but ima have to go with Þaяallεl ...... let me break it down Þaяallεl - I liked your verse better, your verse just fit the topic alot better and i it all flowed.. Also your vocab was nice. And it felt like a message was being said cause i was feeling your drop alot more than Golden Days......ya feel me.. Golden Days - I Wasnt feeling yours as much it didnt fit the topic close to as well as Þaяallεl's.. Also your vocab wasnt as good and i didnt like the structure the font was too small for a topical verse... not hating eigther and im not just voting him because your verse had a small font.. also your flow had lost me in some points but this was a close battle... nice battle...very close.. Vote= Þaяallεl |
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