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Lyric vs Spektikul
Battle Rules:
Crew Battle: The Establishment vs Non-Phixional Con.Tentz Topical Battle Topic: "Too Late" 20 Minimum Lines - 40 Maximum Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Dickriding No Hate Votes Minimum posts to vote: 200 Check in by: 02-01-05 at 03:15 PM Must drop verse in 7200 minutes after check in. |
Lyric has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-29-05 02:14 AM.
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Spektikul has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-29-05 04:10 PM.
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"Too Late" Introduction There once lived this boy, that was never popular or cool Isolated from all of the other children at school His family was less fortunate, for lunch he'd get a quarter At noon he'd write poems, for his girlfriend in the corner The two were insperable, from the present to the start They were together forever, and could never tear apart Conflicts Some kids in his class, would often scream at him and shout But he would pay no attention, because he blocked them all out They'd say "look at that kid, hes such a loser, isn't he?" It didnt bother him much, but after school it hurt physically They got him onto the ground, with repeated kicks to the head An they'd beat him unconscious, even after he had blead One boy searched his pocket, and it hurt in the worst way Cause he was saving his quarters, for hius girlfriends birthday That night he got home, his parents asked "what did you do?" He explained to them fully, but they said "go to your room!" In there he sat and he wrote, for several hours he spent He then approached his open window, and out it he went Tragedy Inside his girlfriends house, he told her stories of horror Lit a candle and started reading, the poems he wrote for her She soon fell asleep, he gently kissed her head - then he split While she slept she knocked over, the burning candle he lit The next morning he woke, before the schools bell made a sound He went to pick up his girl, her house was burnt to the ground Resolution He opened his backpack, devistated - he pulled out a gun She was the one he ever had, now he was mad and all done His adrenaline was flowing, there was no way he could stop He ran inside the school, and then he climbed up to the top With the gun pressed to his throat, he could see way down below All the people from school, that he would never get to know With a tear beneith his eye, he then screamed up to the sky "I hope all the rest of you mother fuckers go to Hell and die!" With the finger on the trigger, he knew that this was fate Police rushed to the roof, but they were already "Too Late." Conclusion I am the boy that robbed him, and picked on him in class I constantly abused him, and after school I'd kick his ass Now I get hurt throughout the day, I dont talk to anyone at all At lunch I sit and write, with his same notebook in the hall He now writes poems in heaven, for his girlfriend all day long "His existance was never acknowledged, until he already was gone." |
Too Late
Lungs heavy with blood, short of breath and not breathing Just out of reach, lying on the cement compulsively heaving Legs severed at the knee, worthless limbs bent out of shape And I think I lost an eye, but The angles not that great A victim of a tragedy, car crashed into the land you see Death came upon impact and left me a sadistic fantasy My soul is trapped inside, struggling to rise and depart Trapped between crushed ribs and my flattened heart My spirit hovers above, watches my body go into convulsions Until I break free, and am joined to make me whole again A ghost invisible, to those who choose not to see So I stay and watch the events, that all surround the dead me They take my body away, and the crowd starts to disperse And still I hover lazily, no hurry to get off of Earth What do I do next? A voice whispers for me to go Up to heavens gate, follow the path of the rainbow But what’s the hurry I tell myself, So much I can explore Go to all the places, that I could never go to before So I drift around for days, now worries on my mind Until and angels makes me realize, I’m almost out of time A time limit? You kidding? Of all the pointless things But heaven only takes, those souls who are ready and willing I find myself with St Peter, standing before heaven’s gate He says” The lock is sealed from you, I’m afraid you are too late” [/center] |
werd...nice drop...uppin to start voting ya'll....
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This was feedback posted for Spektikul
Checking The Polls................................
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Upped...start the voting.........
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Voted For: Spektikul
Spek: wow, that almost perfect. the imagery was butter. seems you put a lot of emotion into it. your enitre verse was dope, from start to finish...nice piece. your structure played a positive role, since your flow was good...it forced the story to be readable and easily comprehended. your story true or not, crossed boundries ive never seen encountered even in novels. the system of events in your verse lead to the tragic ending, and was clear this kid was neglected. his parents, his peers, and himself were all insecure about his potential as a human being. mad porps. you came the best with this one. Lyric: your verse was good as well, you have the ideal topical elements mastered, the word fundamental is an understatement to you. quote that if you want. ha. your piece did a nice job painting a picture of sorrow. good job as well. V/ spek favored his verse more, nice topic...both did good. should be considered best topical battle of february. dont return the favor, that is not why i vote. |
thanks for the honest vote...upp .
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Vote on this people ..
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Voted For: Spektikul
shit was hot fam...good image from both of you...felt this shit was heavy and i actually think i was talking to st peter lol...naw j/p...good metas in both drops..but the thing it came down to was structure...and i liked how spektikul wrote his...this shit was hot..yall dont need elavation v/Spektikul |
Best topical of February...wow...uppin............
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Upping....more honest votes plz all...
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Upping ... ... ...
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Voted For: Spektikul
Lyric: i loved your approach on the topic,emotion was good and creativity was definately there. Structure made it easy to read, had your flow on lock. Found a good balance with your vocab and the imagery was nice to. Solid drop! Spektikul: very nice approach on the topic, loved the twist in the ending. The strongest aspect of your verse was definately the emotion, it was so raw and true...It was a long read but you had me focussed throughout the whole thing (props for that). Vocab was straight to the point, "in your face" attitude and was feeling your flow for sure. In the end, my vote goes to Spektikul because I felt it was a stronger piece based on the emotion...No hate...both did a very good job... Return the favor please...link is in the sig...thanks... |
Voted For: Spektikul
ok both had good strture and length both also had good emotion and visual this was a pretty tight battle here for real nice shit by both the only thing i think made lyrics verse less good as spekticals was the dope way spek went deeper into the topic while lyric kept it short and simple spek allowed me to see the whole picture like a movie while lyric just gave me the sitcom spot and thats what i think made speks drop better the depth both return honest votes on link in my sig |
Thanks...I will return the favor...Uppin..........
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Voted For: Spektikul
this was kinda close but i think oyu took this by far... lyric you need to be more creative...also you need to up your vocab.,.....your attemt was good but for some reason i was just feeling SPEKs verse alot better...you need to eleavte alil more,.....and get creative..see creativitiy is very good in a topical battle...but nice shit....just elevtate.. spek...you get my vote becuase you had an all around better verse...better vocab and better creativity,,,,,that lay out was nice and made it alot easier to understand and read your shit...nice shit but you need to pic up a mic....that subject is nice becuaswe it leaves you open to alot of ideas....nice battle yo vote=spek...word is bond |
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