(eph)-Diary
 

verb.. is what u do silly...

tight................:)

(eph)
i imagine the day im too young for social security.
yet too old to function, bipassing my third surgery.
rockin burgandy turtle necks & burberry air nikes.
cause i love the rap culture, like diddy loves ice.


(Kesse)
as i look back at my past, and the choices i was making
doing things i never thought possible, my sanity was breaking
to impress my friends and family, is all i ever wanted
my conscious clouded as their expectations always haunted
hanging with the wrong people, really changed my life
never could go outta my house without a gun or a knife
you do certain things, not realizing they're crimes you commit
thats the first signs of an addiction, you dont want to admit
when you look out only for yourself, unaware you cause harm to others
my family was broken, leaving i forced suicide onto two of my brothers
i didn't know any better, i was willing to go to any length
youth is ignorance, so foolish, i thought i had the strength
everything is falling apart, this is not how i envisioned
but its too late now, no turning back, ive made my decision
and as i continued along, with that one sole intent for success
you realize you need certain skills that you just dont possess
but it didnt matter, i would do anything necessary, go to any extent
i would fullfill my dreams, and too often i was found asleep on cement
finally i woke up, and it was all too clear my life had faded
this miserable path i chose had left me bitter and jaded
and as i stood there in an empty park, broken, poor and lost
i know now that every decision made always has consequential costs
but these lessons dont come easy, neither the right place or time
if i had this knowledge before, my whole life probly woulda been fine
and as i held up that store clerk, you can already guess the prediction
i lay bloody on the floor, dead... as a result of a foul addiction


(eph)
and now im just a memory, lost to 2004.
hope my name is voiced, from euro to american shores.
the older i got, i felt more cornered by questions.
& pledge to excel as death moves closer by seconds.
been taught lessons since i bought my first wessons.
wonder of angels & heavens, wanting whats above...
praying for love & that god will forgive my transgressions.
most of the wise are conservative, i was born liberal.
had a higher gpa than bush & dont consider life political.
saying nations dont starve is like saying BK is digital.
thats why i have an addiction... and my vision will
inspire underground rap, i miss grand master flash.
the spirit that echoes kanye, and backs the aftermath.
who produced more music groups than interscope.
the real mixtape magician...bitter sweet & bitter dope.
well off or broke, i miss so many faces that progessed.
furthered the art & were murdered, still no arrests.
pac gunned down, and was left with more led to the chest
than maimi pd's kevlar vests....saviors of the projects.
had minor differences, most stood with a unity.
with voices loud enough to lift poverty from communities.
removed the burden of racism, left standards to uphold.
so how does a discolsed murder with witnesses unfold?
a story untold...heard rumors & all about the fiction.
its why life goes on its foul addiction, a world untouched souls.

the Brainstorm

eph

1. As I Recall, feat.

2. Motive For More, feat.

3. Suddle Motion, feat.

4. Throw Em Up, feat.

5. Dear Son, feat.

6. Addicted, feat.

7. That Picture Perfect Moment, feat.

8. Deaths No Elective, feat.

8. State Of Mind, feat.

9. Joy Ride, feat.

10. Wait For You, feat.

11. Genocide 99, feat.

12. What Difference Did I Make, feat.

13. Party Bacardi, feat.

14. Cant Spray Me, feat.

15. From The Slums, feat.

16. Parallel To Hell, feat.


Dropping June 17th.

'Heart On Ya Sleeve'

its been 9 months, 12 days...and 44 love letters.
since the day we bound our young hearts together.
thought'd be hand in hand forever, then last october
spontanealsy you dialed my number, said it was over.
didnt think id recover, wishin it was all a bad dream.

I love that grin when you smile.
& I better be the only number you dial.
I know you protecting me now, for my scars you be licking.
Its serious now, ya the only chick that ride in my whip and…
Couldn’t dream of one on the side, its just you and me kissing.
I get tears in my eyes, just the thought of you trippin.
Ma im so into you now,

* the extended interview... for those very interested members.

diman: What are your current goals, what are your current fears?

DQ: My closest goals at the moment are graduating high school and getting accepted in a university in the USA. I always wanted to study abroad and I will probably major in journalism, communication or English. I change my mind quite often though but I have been thinking about this for a while already so I believe I made final decision now, or at least the direction I want to go with my studies.

Another goal of mine is being able to share my music, my passion with a certain amount of people. I don't know when this time will come and maybe it'll never come but it is definitely something I set my mind to. I will do anything within my power and ability to reach these but if I don't, I won't regret striving for them.

My biggest fear is that I will not be able to achieve anything before I die. I am afraid I won't be able to go where I want to go, to do what I want to do, to be where I want to be, to live how I want to live. There is this aching inside of me which is hard to explain but it feels like I am being restricted in my abilities, as if I am locked up in a golden cage. I have told my parents I do not plan on sticking around for too long but I feel they are not accepting my decision. I'm scared I will be forced to hurt them so as to live my own life but it's my life, I have to live it the way I want to.


diman: You joined February of 04, there must be one thing you’ve learned during your rap verse existence, im curious...to what that might be?

DQ: Well, a few days ago I re-read my very first rap and it was just horrible! It didn’t even rhyme and was filled with clichés as well as basic vocab. By reading a lot of pieces and battles, I elevated so much and I grew as an artist. Many on here helped me without even knowing it and also my English improved heaps for that was my biggest struggle before, the language difference. RV also taught me not to take things so serious sometimes and to be confident, to trust in yourself and your abilities and to not give up.

diman: I cant be the only one In love with DQ’s character....can I call you queen? I mean Queen, I’ve noticed you have so much knowledge, and as an artist I assume you are driven by some force, what is it that makes voicing your opinions so wholehearted?

DQ: Intelligence can be defined in several ways I think because I might get good grades or come over as intelligent but I’m not genius. And if you’d drop me in the middle of Chicago for instance I probably wouldn’t even last a day. I believe everyone can be smart, one way or the other. I learned to respect everyone’s opinion and treat them right unless they do something wrong to me or my loved ones. I just feel I have the right, just like any other human being, to express my thoughts and views on a certain matter and I try to do this in a somewhat understandable way. I do not consider myself smart though, I just know right from wrong and how to word what I’m thinking.


diman: For members that are overwhelmingly underrated, like troop & kesse....what relation do they have to the godly imagery you pour into each of your verses, and still be slept on?

DQ: The only solution to slept on battles in my opinion is to vote on as much as battles yourself and ask to return the favor. If everyone would vote on a certain amount of battles each time they sign on, the inactivity amongst voters wouldn’t be so big I think. I would be a hypocrite if I claimed I voted on battle each day but when I have a battle open, I try to vote more than otherwise. Just vote, vote and keep on voting I suppose while hoping some of those will return the honest favour. I think there should be more voting threads, I opened one myself when I was bored because I knew it would help others.

diman: If you drew a parallel between yourself and Christ, what impression would you most want the world to receive from you, Queen?

DQ: Well, there’s a huge difference between me and Christ in first place rofl…but I’d want people to learn from me that it is okay to be yourself, that you don’t have to worry about what others may think. It’s your life and you have the right to live it the way you want to. I also want them to learn that you can laugh at your own mistakes as long as you learn from them, don’t dwell on the past but live in the present and think about the future. I will quote something a friend once told me: “Shit happens. You step in it. You wipe it off. You walk on.” That’s exactly what I want others to learn from me, there will always be obstacles but you have to stay strong in order to overcome them.

*enjoy and leave feed back in LL

you a militant kid, matter a fact...the illest it gets.
you in the shadow, like ashlee simps. with timberland kicks.
on the board whispering, could call ya rudyard kipling.

^ oooh (i dunno if i can post in here), whos in the pic?

my (foster)brother & his girl.

through vision mentally & keyboard clickin consistanly...
...my apetite for perfection has become a living memory.
in & out the pententury, so far wasted 1/4 a century.
losin my all, cause im broke of cash & rich of hennessey.

im truely the illest it gets, often found different than chicks.
use ta' hide in the shadow, like ashlee simpson in timberland kicks.
no winter break gifts, it was all spent on giving the benz lifts.
it felt wrong, having no decorations up in the windows for chris.
walked out with an innocent kiss. bitter hearted of all i was battling.
ma stormed out with shivering lips, ready to throw the towel in.
i mean, pap was nice. but you could never get the truth out of him.

i member when all that matter'd was personals.
now we filling like syrup in a stack of 30 verticle.
just for bucks & whips like convertabels, some future.
i did text, ive done humor. now'im under like young tumors.
now'i live two lives from one soul, like a hooters reversable.

so you been alive for fifteen years & just started seeing things clear.
think ya havin bad days, when you look as good as tyra in front the mirror.
ya got heart, you dont deserve to spend days alone in tears.
it must be hard, watchin ya boy get punished for pickin the wrong career.
i cant cope the things you battling, prolly ready to throw the towel in.
but if you did, who would allen dream of when hes far away travelin?
ya kickbox & thats a plus infact, most girl wont get off they ass.
guess i should wear a halter top to school, so i can watch my back.
ya boy cares for you truely, sprung like a cassidy groupie.
if he takes the time to ask how ya day was, it proves he...

seperate King from the mic, like rv was revoking his rights.
im royalty & only way youll beat the current, invloves a flowtation device.
why'my battlin a cat whose lines are slept on, like stein debates.
the net must be escape, from being hitched with actual blind dates.

could call myself Tephlon, how i battle cats who get slept on.
its like using mammogram test tongs for pleasure, dead wrong.
listen eph's gone. dont think ya bringin personals on an alias.
i can understand the net's ya only way to get girl within ya radius.
you want a heavy weight title? so plug ya PC into ya scale.

* read this to the "just a moment" tune by nas & quan

Now would you quiet?
If I asked for a moment of silence.
For the cats who lost they lives to narcotics & violence.
To the depressed, wearing dark shades on eyelids.
Trying suicide. Hoping for martyrs & sirens.
I pray for the rich, who starve without diamonds.
Condemn all the terrorists who surprise us...
...with bombs & devices without compromising.
& i mourn for the niggas, thats serving confinement.
Not released cause they targets of tirance.
My hearts with the soldier, thats out on assignment.
Now lets start a revival, with use of God's guidance.

Hook:Quan
Days comes & Nights falls.
For the rest of our lives well miss yall.
& even though life must go on, we still mourn.
While wishing yall home.

& can we please spend a moment with jesus.
who heals kids in hospital beds, sick with diseases.
& this ones for the babies, gone to alchohol reasons.
Who were cheated of life, before they got out the fedus.
Now Im giving my deepest, to those shot up in Lincoln.
To the widows & families, who is financialy sinking.
& this is for my brothers at war.
Who have they kids on their minds. That & nothin more.
Infact, we should all wear timberland boots.
Symbolizing Iraqi youth & dead American troops.
I send my spirit & soul to the oldest recruit.
& when that stray flys, i pray hes...bullet proof.
Now thats truth.

Hook:Quan
Days comes & Nights falls.
For the rest of our lives well miss yall.
& even though life must go on, we still mourn.
While wishing yall home.

Lil Sis... Candy

nice diary u got here eph...
...and a good-lookin sister :)

Its the way i miss you. I go crazy inside.
Everything i do is a mistake, w/o babygirl beside me.
& i'll scoop if im able to get you, its a contageous issue.
when ya not feelin well, i'll walk miles in the rain to kiss you.
cause baby if you...feel the same i do, youll say I DO.
you cant spell trust w/o us, ima spend life wit you.
ima ice ya home, like kumara simmons...you gotta asain igloo.
& i'll spend life at home, cause everyday away i miss you.
times you is down, my tall tees play as tissue.
& when you fall, i'll pick you up...if i cant, i'll lay there wit you.

tried imaginin a day not together, seprate forever.
living stressful...chasin lame shorties & chedder.
lonely nights at home, still writin you intamite letters.
but everytime i though it up, wed end up back together.
under the same roof as i remembered,

Hook:

let me start wit mahal kita, it sounds better to a beat.
if you love wat ya hear on this track, rewind & repeat.
listen ma, i love you like i love my sleep.
if i dont get enough of you, i feel like shit all week.

Verse 1:

Its the way i miss you. I go crazy inside.
Everything i do is a mistake, w/o babygirl beside me.
& i'll scoop if im able to get you, its a contageous issue.
when ya not feelin well, i'll walk miles in the rain to kiss you.
cause baby if you...feel the same i do, youll say I DO.
you cant spell trust w/o us, ima spend life wit you.
ima ice ya home, like kumara simmons...you gotta asain igloo.
& i'll spend life at home, cause everyday away i miss you.
times you was cryin, my tall tees play as tissue.
& when you fall, i'll pick you up...if i cant, i'll lay there wit you.
i get stomach pains when im out of state.
might o been heat or love sickness, either way i still bout to faint.
i know you jealous of me, cause i got a voice like mariah. ha
but everyones jealous of you, you got the flyest boy on the playa.



Chorus:

(cause) im just regular cat, wit a beautiful girl.
(& i wont) stop how i act, cause im on top o the world.
(& i) wouldnt be living...if we werent together.
trust babygirl, this is your love letter.

x2

Verse: 2

we've had fates, tragedies & simple mistakes (& all).
but that dont mean that our love is at steak (& all).
baby i was born to love you, thus ill prove it.
its why i rock nikes on my feet, I just do it.
you gotta... smile that can entertain.
& the color of ya eyes, has me playin mental games.
(you know) every second together is a kodak moment.
(& when we) climb in the bed, its like we fierce opponents.
the sun is out & we hug in several o poses.
i got more than 10 ways to see you smile, like i was a dozen roses.
(i dont) have to propose, (for ya) love forever.
cause it aint all about the smash or bobs or watever.
wit fredricks of hollywood, you a dime. you a model.
i could stare at you, as long as it takes to read a novel.
so baby open a bottle & lets make a toast to us.
trust, (i just) want you to know i adore you so much.

(cause) im just regular cat, wit a beautiful girl.
(& i wont) stop how i act, cause im on top o the world.
(& i) wouldnt be living...if we werent together.
smile babygirl, this is your love letter.

Its polotics now, in the club wit timbaland kicks.
I aint no rabbit, um a buck & trix are for kids.
Got lambo doors on the benz, rims spinnin off the whips.
Jump to the dance floor & watch the lady crips c walk to this.
Move wit the wave of ya hips & hit...wit a violent stop.
Tastin the sweat off ya lips...just vibe on the spot.
Mommy either ride or just pop, let me give ya the summury.
Whether you like it or not, ima put it down like a district attourney.
If its coach or burburry, ima keep you as icey as tiffany.
Its more than a O-N-S, could call you wifey or Mrs. me.
Tellin me, im feeling you...im just scared ya right.
You wanted a day away, i took you to paradise.
Where ya hair had flight & ya swimwear was white.
You make me really cherish life, which proves we...
must be soul mates. Im fly & yous a beauty.
From the bedroom to jacuzzi, you still amuzing.
You belong passenger side when im, boulavard cruising.
Babygirl was nymph, keith sweat had you wild as art.
You still find ya way into my dreams, when we miles apart.
America's idol at heart...you my asian amazaments.
Im takin arrangment, like they was tradin our spaces.
I could be ya superman & thats just an understatement.
For you, theres no replacement...you my favoritist favorite.

VALHALLA HIGH SCHOOL
1725 Hillsdale Road – El Cajon – CA 92019 – (619) 593-5300


STUDENT REPORT CARD
FOR PERIOD ENDING 06/09/05


Dear Parent/Guardian:

If your student received one or more grades of “D”, “F” or “Incomplete” on this repot card; I strongly recommend that you call or leave a message with your student’s teacher(s) immediately and set up a plan to focus on improvement. Seniors who have not completed all course requirements by the end of the second semester will not graduate, nor will they be allowed to participate in commencement ceremonies, so early resolution of any problems is extremely important. For general questions related to your student’s educational plan, contact our Counseling office. The Grossmont Union High School District encourages the establishment of a strong working relationship between parents and schools to maintain a successful educational program for your student.

Sincerely,


Larry Martinsen
Principal

GROSSMONT UNION HIGH SCHOOL DISTRICT

STUDENT NAME
HUGHES, TIM STUDENT NO.
213411
CNS
02 GRADE
11
SCHOOL
09
DATE
07/08/05
PER. SUBJECT TEACHERS
NAME MARK CONDUCT CREDIT COMMENTS ABS. TARDY

01
02
03
04
05





Ear Sc Req 1A
Art 2
Am St Eng2C
Am St His 2C
Comp Applic





Leirichwhi
Arnold R
Kitchens M
Morales A
Foster Karen









C-
A
B-
B
A









S
O
S
S
S





5.0
5.0
5.0
5.0
5.0





R


R






3
1
1
2
2






0
0
0
0
0






CONSIDERED ELIGIBLE FOR EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

eph!!!!!!!! hows it going hotstuff?

heres ya battle right hurr.



timberland kicks ha, you could never depict a kodak.

ill put more bullets to ya chest than a 88 throwback.

think you a thug, but ya never held yaself a wessen.

son im bout to axe you, and i aint a black kid witta question.

"flowz so har it tear apart pantz", thats ya best bar listed.

face it, ya like homeless on holidays, ya just not that gifted.

ya could sit on my lap and i still wouldnt feel ya shit.

youll never demise, even if you speak soflty & carry a big stick.

youd receive an A, if we strictly graded ya verse on effort.

cause ya dumbass prolly stayin abstinent, just to get with virgin records.

you stay in san fran, the amount of heteros matches the crime rate.

ya think you gettin women, when you go out with actual blind dates.

^lol at the questiong one :love:

ya wouldnt speak to me, said ya voice was hurtin or somthin.
but you didnt have to act like you was alergic or somthin.
its funny how you love someone & just split apart.
i could be a shoulder to cry on, but i just dont fit the part.
see...im more like the dude shorties try to pursue.
give you credit tho, cause you was wit the flyest dude in the room.
if you ever havin prolems, you know ill race to get you.
if you down, ill pick you up & if i cant...ill lay there wit you.
id like to think im a player, but im liable for lovin.
ill find myself at the florist and shit, buying a dozen.
i been thinkin bout us, i dont know if theres a future or wat.
but...i cant deny i been watchin you shake that cute lil butt.
id tell you to cruise to chill and shit, you live kinda far tho.
but if your up to comin down, i guess ill see you tomoro.