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Hells Fire vs. Drama Queen vs. Anxiety
Check in's due before Sunday (20th) 11:59 PM Eastern Time Zone Verses Due Before Sunday (27th) 11:59 PM Eastern Time Zone Line Limit: 20-50 Lines Max First to 3 votes win 3-0 = KO This is the championship, be sure to drop your best. You have 2 weeks to check in and drop. Voting is open to all people. 20,000 RV to whoever drops good, honest, and well explained votes. Topic: End of the Road |
Checkity check...awww man, this is gonna be d-o-p-e...
DQ |
Lets do this... Good Luck Drama Queen and Hell's Fire.
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checkin in this shit gonna be dope, last time i was in this triple threat thing everyone dropped so dope and this is for the hole thing so i better get writtin haha
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Yeah, you only have like 2 weeks.
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End of the Road
Hospital, kid turned man, man turned senior
get-visual, wit turned mad, mad turned leaner saw my days glitter like sands face and this rat run its last race depression shitter, emotional mace, and this kat became last bass like blood became thinner, epidermal wrinkler, head went balder like hood became inner, stuggle no winner, feds went else-where This was the end of the road though it curved and swirved many lost their lives to my action though verbed and word Webster lost in past tense my scripture as old as hollywood prints Blester then most to have a family measure and childhood friends I staired into sons focal point watched water persperate the soil i flaired at sons emotional joint told not to wan, vibrate or boil no falt my turn on demise, no flawnt i lived my life no halt no turn for cries, no dawnt it happened all life Flashbacks, kid-in-arms, watchin embryo form on tube classacts, ma-ma-charms, learnin video games on tube growin so fast realising i cant keep up to my kids n mass movin so fast realising i cant weep up seen wits n class my sports,graduation, college dorm rooms vast their sports, graduation, college dorm rooms vast crying at funeral site where my buddies race finished early prying at mineral site where my bodies chase developed slowly i was losing my battle with life, but having fun with the strife had a tragedy but kept with life, having run my length of life i seen horizon set too many times, and the moon glow like evershine i seen sore eyes on too many times, and the goon turn into nice mind i walked so many paces that prints left unparallel i walked so many steps that stints didnt held well seen so many faces, so many ethinicities, so many country ties so many country fights, so many democracies, so many illitracies so many forest, so many ocean, so many mountians, so many hills so many war rest, so many notion, so many ounces, so many pills too many pages, too many books, too many bullets, too many graved too many homage, too many looks, too many mullets, too many saved History books getting longer, knowledge getting oh so broader seriods makin teens stronger, voyages to foreign mexico boarder but as i sat there in the bed a light hit my face first oh so small tho my heart began a tear the night grace, i began float then fall respirator in me i began to see it in slow motion as all seen failed perpirator on me i began to see it in slow motion as god prevailed i left the room in biology but not meta physically n with one word left the world forever with my same old melody... here it is its kinda long hope yall like it good luck to eveyone |
At the end of the road In my life, I have made several risky decisions In which hatred and grudge formed dangerous collisions But you won't hear "I'm sorry" coming out of my mouth 'Cause there's one thing I learned from the battles I fought Only the reflection in the mirror is worth your trust You are foolish to view love as an absolute must Same goes for friendship, it burns out or fades away Where's God when you need him? Why even bother to pray? . . . Some call me selfish, others say I have a bad soul But why should I listen to people without a goal? Revenge is so sweet that it will never turn sour No time to care bout people getting killed by the hour Either black or white,no different shades of grey I live my life to the limit, hate to be a cliche Loved by few,hated by many claiming I'm on bad trail But without a ruthless strength,you're destined to fail . . . Hip hop in my blood,I know what I want and I'll get that Cause beats, ink and paper for me is like blood for a bat Who even knows what's right or wrong,I follow my own code That's why I will have no regrets at the end of the road . . . DQ |
Extension Issued:
Due to complications verses are due March 6, 2005, by 11:00 PM EST. px |
shitty well keep mine up there
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no extension needed.
This is my last topical... And that is what it's going to be about... So enjoy my last one, and read it all... Looking back, i cant believe this is how far i got... When i started i was mocked, and teased when i dropped... I was a cat who couldnt battle, but just wouldnt quit... So i went around looking for a different genre to spit... Then i came across topicals, and I thought I'd try em out... I knew the basics, but i wanted to try a different route... And at first, people didnt seem to understand my style... It was wild, but i absorbed it in, sat back and smiled... But inside, I didnt know how they thought i was so bad... Back when topicals were rated on structure and vocab... So i was torn, i felt i shouldnt stray from the norm... But i did, and through me a whole new style was born... It was basic, a child could read it, vocab was bare... But tells a story so perfect that you thought you were there... Imagery so amazing that you'd smell what I smell... Emotion so fucking mindblowing that you felt what I felt... But i was way too cocky, so to be perfectly honest... It was a reality check when i lost to Nostradamus... So flow intelligent told me about this league that he ran... And i needed to elivate, so i gave it a chance... Then i met final, a topical cat, and wanted to help him win... But truthfully, he helped me at least as much as i helped him... And in the league, i started battling all kinds of cats... Within a month, i was already in the championship match... Then i signed up for this tourney, the last thing left... With only one goal in mind, to be considered the best... So with this last one, ive come to show how i've grown... Cause after this, thats it, this was the end of the road... |
Damn This Is A Tight Battle Hellfire I Think Won This Here His Verse Meant So Much Its Ridicules He Gave So Much In So Little Words I Feel He Just Had More Raw Emotion And Better Imagery His Shit Was Real Deep Anxiety And Drama You Know Your My Boo You Had A Good Drop But Hellfire Had A Amazing One While Yall Won In Flow He Won In All Other Areas He Dropped Fucking Dope I Gotta Go Wit Hellfire For Better Emotion Imagery And Just A Better Drop Damn I Never Thought Id Vote Aganist Anixety In A Topical Kid Is Fucking Dope But Hellfire Got You This Time Sun
Vote-hellfire Vote disqualified due to inadeqaute feedback. Please critique all three verses, not just the one you feel was the best. px----Architect |
Cali is my dog and all but the vote should be disqualified for not touching on my verse or drama queens verse in the slightest... Address every verse in the vote homie.
Agreed. Vote DQed, nice to see you back anxiety, and you did need an extension, you would have been late 35 minutes. :) px |
Current Standings: Anxiety: 0 Votes Drama Queen: 0 Votes Hells Fire: 0 Votes |
This was a tight topical battle from everyone of us...wanna give props to Hells Fire and anxiety so people, read and vote :)
DQ |
Hells Fire - 3rd Place (imo) - 8/10
Check it, this was a very interesting drop....you came with a very long drop to address the subject, but it led to an irratic unproportionate structure..i could see no reason for your bad structure such as to convey confusion or irrationality so it just came across to me as bad writing..and in topicals I regard the "english" of the drop highly...your poor structure mad the flow choppy and it highlighted alot of other things in your drop, such as poor spelling - it dont take much to spell check a drop man..you could have easily overcome your poor structure with PARAGRAPHS lol.......I loved the way you tried to approach the topic..it showed a real flair for what you were doing..but i didnt like your use of vocab..in my book either learn how to use it responsibly like DQ where it is not over-done but ur still showing off some intellect or come simplistic like anxiety and show some originality...i found your use of vocab too much- i understood it but to me it just confused some of your ideas and spoilt what could have been some good metaphors and similies by making them too complicated or in many instances stooping them from making sense....your topic coverage was on point and a high proportion of your lines added to your story and developed the plot...with a lot fo your lines you made some nice images and conveyed a lot of emotion but at times what you created didnt fit with the topic and had no relevance...which even if they are dope lines they must be relevant to the topic...I think you would have easily taken this final with a more structured, simplistic and concise drop as a lot of your ideas far excelled those of the other 2 but they got confused in mess i.m.o...you have a lot of talent man...:thumbup: no h8 (sorry if it sounded harsh just pissed me off you fucked this up lol) Anxiety - 2nd Place (imo) -9/10 Yo,one thing i dint like about this topical is the arogance that came through from it, despite your statemnts about humbling when loosing to nostradamus it just sounded cocky and over-confident all the way through and this was one of the emotions i hated in your piece...You structure was on point and it really worked well to help emhasise words in your lines..your vocab was so simple its silly but the simplicity of it made the drop so much better, and accessible to anyone reading it....flow was on point, although it would have bee hard to mess up the flow of the story using such monosyllable words..your topic coverage was dope...you came from a very original although annoying angle about your personal rise to the "top" in the topical game..and you stayed on topic constantly, with every line relevant to the subject...your drop if anything was filled with statements and you had next to few metaphors and similies which led to your drop lacking a lot of emotion and having almost no imagery..making it kind of boring and hard to relate to..all-in-all a solid topical but not enough to win this dope ass battle :thumbup: no h8 Drama Queen - Winner (i.m.o) - 9.5/10 I was very very very very (lol) surprised at first glance to see the length of your drop so short especially as you dropped after Hells Fire, so I almost immediately had doomed you to loss....but your drop showed a lot of elements that out-shone the rest and led to a solid dope topical drop which was virtually flawless...firstly you didnt come with the glaringly obvious as the other 2 in the sense that you looked to the future of the "end of the road" so you weren't actually there yet, whereas the other two where there, and this showed from the beginning you were thinking hard about the content of the topical...your structure was flawless...it was nice how it was seperated into paragraphs which were set out as almost stanzas or verses which gave a solid topical a poetic vibe which I was feeling being a poet myself...the vocabulary you used was well-placed,relevant and fitted in thee context of your sentences..you conjured a lot of dope ass imagery in this drop with effective use of metaphors and similies and this in turn created and conveyed a lot of emotions and feelings...in terms of topic coverage you stayed on topic 99% of the time..1/2 lines were off and really only outstood due to the shortness of your drop compared to the others..but they took nothing away from your overall drop...your drop was unique in that it didnt tell a conventional tale as did the others but instead told the story of your feelings and predicted them and that was hella dope yo...you came strong in this and outshone the favourite ever so slightly to take this..:thumbup: no h8 VOTE - DRAMA QUEEN rtf - LINKS IN SIG!!! |
35836 - Gimme Ma Money Architect
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Current Standings: Anxiety: 0 Votes Drama Queen: 1 Votes Hells Fire: 0 Votes |
Wow, acuity you get 40,000 for that good of a vote. That is what is needed on RV!
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No hate for who you voted for acuity, but it didn't seem like you liked my verse at all, yet you gave me a 9/10... I just find that wierd.
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Quote:
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lol...........^
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Nice sig Six:thumbup:
Why does no one vote on this? It's a good battle. |
i think acuity was focusing on the problems more than the props in his critique damn cali shoulda had critique for you guys too then i be tied for the lead than one step behind with a crazy battle thay no one looks to vote on i say you should tell nostradamos about it and big chase for some more voters
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Split the Pie...
Hells Fire: your verse was decent, your story board was dominant, and very visible throughout the entire piece. you came correct, your vocab was not too extensive, although you did included many forms of speech. however, i was not appeased with the multiple stanzas that repeated the same para- phrase for 4 lines. the whole parellel bar structure was not very good, literate at best. you had a nice image of your work before you began to type, but the words you used, i did not feel fully expressed what it is you were trying to get at. nice job. you earned 22% of the pie. Drama Queen: amazing imagery. overall you carried out the best topical that actually desrcibe the T without bending it, or perviously aultering its original portrait. here, you well painted out the topic, and fully have shown exactly what a great topical battle consists of. nice piece, i cannot find one ounce of critism in me that would better this verse. you came even more correct you dropped a good piece. the structure was good, the length was perfect, i think from now on, i will start shortening mine, because i admire that structure. you keyed with a fundamental and ample amount of vocab. was not over the top but, your verse was amazing. you earned 28 % of the pie. anxiety: you and i, in a way have the same style. the lines are short and legible, long enough to carry a rythm, but have that distinct amount of syllables to create a perfect structure. the multis were amazing, and well placed. the vocab was good as well, it was simple and petite, i like that. i too, am over the seductive vocab, that most rookies appeal to...forcing them to believe "this person uses large words, they must be good, im voting for them" but here that was not the case, you came better than both of your opponents verses, i like how you used the topic to your advantage, and applied it to your personal state ( that this is your last topical ). if that is true. your verse has great scheme and an amazing base. you earned 50 % of the pie. vote: ANXIETY |
Current Standings: Anxiety: 1 Vote Drama Queen: 1 Vote Hells Fire: 0 Votes |
Hells Fire
Aight your point of this verse is not that original. I knew someone would do this and write a verse about death. Your imagery was aight, but I didn't feel that connected to the person. You just kept repeating yourself over, and over, and over. Flow was off a little too. I think that you had a decent idea, but you failed to give out what it truly could have produced. Structure made it hard to read too. What you did right: Your emotion was good, and I was interested enough to see how it would end. Wasn't sure what was going on till the end. Drama Queen Wow, usually your stuff is a bit more complex then this was. The rhymes were rather basic in my opinion, and I think that you could have done a lot better then what the verse was. With that said the many things you did well: Emotion was nice, and I could relate well to your verse. Structure was fine like always, and overall your vocab was a nice blend. The end could have been a bit more impactful with "At the end of my road", but thats just me. :thumbup: Anxiety Dude, I am almost crying by reading your verse. It gives me shivers. This is without a doubt the best topical verse I have ever read from you or anyone else. Your emotion was there like nothing else, and just wow. Um, really I cannot find anything bad about this verse, except I wish it was longer. Haha Structure was good, vocab was lacking, but it wasn't needed. Your storyline was perfect, and your twist on it made it just that more better. I honestly have to say I found nothing wrong with this piece. v/Anxiety |
Current Standings: Anxiety: 2 Votes Drama Queen: 1 Vote Hells Fire: 0 Votes |
looks like no pie for me hehe oh well it was fun to be in the finals with ya good kats
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Fully explained votes are much appreciated by all three of us, enjoyed participating in this final for sure!
DQ |
Hells Fire
Your verse was pretty good man.. What I really like most about your verse is your multi's.. sadly, this is the only part that made your verse sound good.. Your imagery really wasn't there.. and it was the samething with your emotion.. I couldn't see or feel anything.. Your vocab was on point, but you should try some metaphors.. that would really make it stand out.. Drama Queen This was another good verse that i've read from you DQ, but really i've seen alot better from you... You made it seem like u rushed it or didn't even care.. but some how still made it good. Well your emotion was there, and your storyline was good.. just like wut Architekt sed.. I too could relate to your verse.. And at the end.. i knew someone would use something like you did.. so you should try to thing of something like a shocker (twist) next time you know Anxiety It's interesting how your vocab really wasn't that good in this verse but you made it seem like it didn't matter due to your emotion.. Your verse really did stand out because this is seriously the same thing i went through.for example.. I got too cocky battling nos and got ko'd..damn that sucked haha.... This verse basiclly has very few bad things in it.. well actually none that i could think of?? Vote: Anxiety.. Good Battle To All Contestants!! Congrads To Anxiety |
Tourney Is Now Closed For 3-4 Weeks..
Thread Closed -Dabatos |
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