Mizz Fyre vs SUPERVILLAIN
 

CRHYME SINDICATE (C.S.) vs code steel (c.s.t.)


Battle Rules:

Topical: "Revenge"
10 - UNLIMITED Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

...goodluck.


S.V.

Minimum posts to vote: 200

Check in by: 02-18-05 at 11:30 AM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

mizz fyre has ACCEPTED this battle on 02-15-05 01:37 PM.

knife in hand, hair dripping, coz the rain is falling
cell-phone ringing, looks at i.d, sees revenge is calling
stands outside, burning with rage, its uncontrollable
tears running down her face, she's inconsolable
thinks back to the days when she suffered, reflecting
on a scene she couldn't control someone else was directing
images of a life passed, the number of times, victimised
tried to escape but was too scared to commit suicide
now 21, the times come, she knows where her future lies
tightens her grip on her weapon, walks inside, drys her eyes
no-one in sight, cell-phone rings again, a reminder
don't give up now, she's out there somewhere go find her
sees red the color of blood, her enemy on the floor
looking so bad, something she'd never seen her like before
boy holding a gun, gazes up, lips pursed
looks at her, whispers softly, i got here first
finally found the puzzle piece, now her life is complete
and they both say together that revenge is so sweet

SUPERVILLAIN has ACCEPTED this battle on 02-17-05 10:19 AM.

Topical : Revenge



"RETRIBUTION"


Pt. 1: Blood And Dirt

the memory is vividly clear...it was a seemingly perfect day in autumn
sis and i were walkin' on our way back from shoppin' when we saw him
we kept talkin', proceeded with caution, then crossed the street to dodge him
suddenly there was a problem...abruptly, he screamed, "WE GOT 'EM!!!"

the wall of brush beside us parted, thats when his snarling partner grabbed her
he savagely attacked her, slapped her and dragged her back through the pasture
it all happened so fast...i dropped the bags and was grasped by hands
i was five and a half...in a flash, that was that...i had no chance

throughout the scuffle, i struggled until fatigue set in...he had me now
thats when i looked over and saw my sis being touched with her panties down
i was pinned to a mound, then beat with a brick while i was on the ground
the taste of blood and dirt filled my mouth.......then i slowly faded out

Pt. 2: A Rock And A Hard Place

after 18 months of sleep and dreams...i woke up amid more nightmares
between a rock and a hard place???....my family and i were right there
justice is blind...so our legal system is handicapped and that is our reality
our two attackers were caught, tried...and released 'cuz of a technicality

two weeks after the verdict, sis slit her wrists...and died at age fourteen
i had to learn how to walk again...and mom did her mourning by using morphine
pops grew more mean and he drowned his sorrows in a bourbon bottle
if i am to serve a purpose tomorrow, i'll have to deter this perfect wallow

i kept my head in the books and grew stronger and smarter as i aged
i moved east...graduated from med school and eventually got engaged
finally the day came to make change...it was time to fulfill my vow
their blood was worth any consequence....their time to pay was now

Pt. 3: Dismantling The Monsters

i tracked the first one to a pub in dublin called "locklands shack"
we got to chat...had a few pabst's and knocked back shots of jack
i waited an hour until he peed...then slipped the powder in his drink
he downed it with ease, shortly thereafter, his head hurt....he couldnt think

he woke up hogtied...beneath thousands of hungry ants in a fireproof box
freedom was his if he could pick locks...and toss 10 ft. of soil and loose rocks
now that he was gone...the hunt was on for the last of the bad-men
it took a few days for contact, but at last...i would catch ken maddon

at this time in his life he was a father....and cleared his name of any dirt
but when i said father, i meant reverand...and heading the local church
he said "two wrongs dont make a right, GOD forgave me, i made ammends"
but IM not as great as HIM...so i pull my blade and begin to grate his skin
"to heal the pain within, i will take your dick, chin, lips, fingertips and limbs
i could give you the bloody details of sin...however, lets just say THE END"



...the super..........big bad crhyme sin

This was feedback posted for mizz fyre
 

uppin this ish.............................................

Voted For: SUPERVILLAIN

ima start wit the great mizz fyre ok yours waz short but had a lot put into it i like dat your structure was nice good vocab i like your verse a lot because of how it ended because i was a lil confused at verse till it got to the end
SV-got dis doe i guess cus his waz longer and it waz more into his verse den Mizz Fyre even doe her's waz flaming his was just betta cus like i said it waz longer more thought out n stuff he told a whole story so you knew why he waz gettin revenge
Overall-it waz a close match i think if SV had of been as long as mizz fyre she wud of won

^^^UPPIN' FOR LEGIT VOTES!!!^^^


...the super......c.s.

^^^UPPIN' FOR LEGIT VOTES!!!^^^


...the super......c.s.

^^^UPPIN' FOR LEGIT VOTES!!!^^^


...the super......c.s.

^^^UPPIN' FOR LEGIT VOTES!!!^^^


...the super......c.s.

Voted For: SUPERVILLAIN

I gotta go with super on this one. Mizz fyre's is good had alot of imagery i followed the story in my mind and could picture the whole thing from the rain to the walkin in the house with the knife but i got a little lost at the end. So was the other guys girl cheating and he killed her and yall were there together or.....? Anyway the whole scene was a little stereotypical to me in the rain guy cheats on girl all the way down to the knife but the ending was a twist. But i was feelin super's a little more cause i could follow that and it was different. It was broad daylight and the scene was perfect of his system getting raped the "twisted government" letting the guys off on a technicallity which is how the real world works, all the way to the revenge the first guy got buried alive (man would that shit suck) and the second guy got amputated....everything got amputated. Wow....anyway yeah i gotta go with super on this one but mizz fyre's was really good.

v/Supervillain

Voted For: SUPERVILLAIN

S.V.
ur verse was good...u stayed on topic the whole way thru, also had great structure & vocab was on point... u didn't stretch ur lines & went into detail...overall u did a good job 9.5/10

M.F.
it was alright pretty decent topic u picked cuz it was also deep in ur verse, but ur vocab was basic, & like S.V. u should have had separated parts...ur opener was also basic as well but the closer nice use of words...structure was there but in sum parts u fell off but overall it was pretty decent ma 7.5/10

that's y S.V. wins my vote & make sure 2 return the favor

thank you for the feedback gentlemen. it is much appreciated.

mizz fyre, you got down ma.......nice shit. it has been an honor to do battle with you. keep up the good work.

one...


...the super...

^^^UPPIN' FOR LEGIT VOTES!!!^^^


s.v...........big bad c.s.

Voted For: SUPERVILLAIN

close battle...both were tight

miss fyre....i was feeling yours, up till the end, thats were you kinda lost me, didnt like how you played out the end, with that other dude killin her, but you had good emotion, the vocab at the start was awesome, really got me into it, but then i stated to fade at the end...i think you lost alotta flow and wordplay dropped a little, you didnt keep that consistancy and i think if you did, you may have taken it....but because your ending got a little choppy and you lowered the vocab and wordplay, you lost hold of the battle, cause i just wasnt feeling it anymore at the end....but keep this shit up, your a good writer

Supervillain...i guess thats why you get my vote....you two seem about on the same level....but you kept a consistency of emotion and passion, mixed with vocab and wordplay throughtout your whole verse...and thats what really gets me, somethin that will keep me on the edge the whole time, i feel you did that better here, good flow, good use of multis at the start, structure was okay, creativity was great, had complexity, good verse man

v/ supervillain

Voted For: SUPERVILLAIN

Mizz fyre: your verse was real hot. A lot of good vocab put to use, topic was used really well and the flow was hella good with a nice structure. not really any wordplay or metaphors tho. But all-in-all a tasty verse.

Supervillain: Once again, unmatched, Sheer quality through quantity aswel.
I want to paste a bar that i liked for some reason:
"two weeks after the verdict, sis slit her wrists...and died at age fourteen
i had to learn how to walk again...and mom did her mourning by using morphine"
-This is just to illustrate how good this verse was. Some lovely vocab, multis, topic was used brilliantly and i liked all three parts to it. I think personally the second part was my favourite. Keep it up SV.

I dont vote on topicals normally so if you need me to post more feedback, PM me and il post it straight away.

RTF please peeps