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Mista- My Past Hunts Me
Everytime i look at your picture my eyes starts to get watery Ever since your funereal this emotional havoc flow's in me You was like a father to me, why did god called you up? From the moment you stopped breathing, i started to bust My tears started leaking, as your hand slipped thru my fingers My screams echoed thru the hall ways the sounds linger MY mother walked in, with hands over her mouth, she was shocked she looked at the heart monitor, knowing it has stopped Ever since Man i'm telling you your death tooked a toll in my life I couldnt eat for days, i was in a dark phase, i couldnt see the light Everyone say "life will go on", but damn that aint happening with me Your death was like a brick wall, it shooked me from reality I couldnt face the facts that you was gone, living 6ft under Just watching the casket go down made my heart clumber My past damn is still hunting me, the wounds won't heal Why today your image of you shows up in my head still Please kill me now so this emotional havoc can disappear please god bring me to him, so i can release my fears If you dont, then i must direct myself to the barriel commit suicide My past will forever hunt me inside, Damn too many bloods in my eyes http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=177406 YOU HURTING ME MAN! LEAVE ME ALONE! Uncle Robert.Davis Oct.23, 2003 R.I.P FOREVER I WILL MISS YOU |
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Strongest aspect of your piece is the emotion and I honestly don't think you paid too much attention to the other things but that wasn't necessary. Found a good balance with your vocab, kept it easy to read but not too simple. Had your flow on lock and structure was cool. But that emotion...so raw and pure, loved how you expressed the pain back then and the pain you still have because of it now...must be hard to finally write it all down and confront yourself with it but you did an excellent job with this drop!
Tight piece! DQ |
Man you dont even know how hurtful this shit is.........
I've been through of alot of shit, but when my uncle died. ThaT SHIT TOOKED ME AWAY, IT MADE ME FEEL MY LIFE WAS OVER, IT WAS CRUMBLING. BUT I CAN'T FORGET HIM HE'S LIKE A GHOST IN MY HEART. EVER SINCE AFTER HIS FUNEREAL, I STARTED WRITING POETRY. CAUSE MY EMOTION FOR HIM WILL NEVER FALL NOR DISAPPEAR AND IT'S HURTING ME INSIDE THAT I CAN'T FORGET THAT, AND MY LIFE WILL NEVER GO ONE. |
^No one can feel your pain or even take it away from you but it's good that you found a way to express some of it and put it out there. Wish there was something I or anyone else could do but there's not but you're strong...
Continue to write it off...if it's possible... DQ |
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Dope peice, it came from the heart, an that aspect of the drop was top notch an i was feeling your anger n frustrations throughout, nice solid drop
Stay up fam 1 |
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yea man. i know how u feel dog. good drop. and im sorry for the way i acted earlier. you should know i didnt mean nothin by it just thought u was startin drama. but i feel for u man. this was a real emotional piece. stay up.
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dis was deep man........shit was raw emotion...stay up fam
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yo man this shit had me in tears.....all i could think about was grandma...my great grandma...she was da sweetes little thing earth has ever seen....she was like one of those grandmas you would see on those fairy tales...she was great all grandmas got da best cookin but she was special to me..i still got a white flower from her funeral...its shriveled up and dead but i can still smell the scent in it......i felt this drop a lot man.....made me realize how much i really do miss her and i wish she didnt have to go but i know shes in a better place and she wit my grandpa now too...my great grandpa that is.......
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Thanx For The Feedback Man ............................................
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Man deep drop fam...i was feelin this, the emotion just kept me goin through out this whole piece and the imagery was just right...the vocab was decent but i dont really think it matters too much ya feel?...anyways keep droppin them fam, much respect to ya Tio...
*Tio is uncle... RTF in the sig on my single...pz. |
o thanx man............................................... ..will rtf
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real deep piece.....nice emotion...vocab could have been upped a lil bit but the emotion carried it off, nice flow....touching piece...keep doing it 8/10
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^^ Mizz fyre where have you've been?
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^^^whatchu mean...right here lol.....
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