Speats vs Magical
 

Battle Rules:

6-10
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

i replyed to your thread here:
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1987679

you got 1 day after check in

Minimum posts to vote: 70

Check in by: 03-02-05 at 03:39 AM

Must drop verse in 1500 minutes after check in.

Magical has ACCEPTED this battle on 02-27-05 03:39 AM.

Speats has ACCEPTED this battle on 02-27-05 02:11 PM.

This is only the first line,dont get to nervous
I could image your ass jumping around in a circus
Your getting annoying,and im only being honest
Parallel should shut is mouth,let me ask the dentist*
He could brake some teeth and put new vocabulary in it
Then go buy new and serious shit at the clinic
Ill traught lyrics deeper than michael jackson's nose
Youll finish ugly enought to open your own"Magical Show"
Poeple d'be ready to pay alot of money to see your ass in there
Then after,Buy a mic and stop complaining dat its a parent affaire*

*his alias
*always talkin dat hes gonna get a mic

nice verse, lets get some votes now
uppin........

Voted For: Speats

Magical

Why u jumpin off to temptation, ur way to judgemental
Ur so played out u remind me of a wack Instrumental
judgemental and instrumental dont rhyme.. rhyming = same number of syllables.. but anyway.. even if this did rhyme.. that was played out.. 2/10
Ur so dumb, u put cigarette buds in urself, ur so retarded
U touch little boys?, like a Queer, don’t even get started
retarded and started dont rhyme.. refer to last bar explanation about why.. other then that.. it looks to me like in 2 lines you just pulled out 2 fake personals.. and not even making it into a punch.. NICE!.. 1/10
I’m Napolean Dynamite when it comes to Explodin u
yea I got a 12 gage thats why im the gun, controlling u
Wow @ the gayness of the first line.. that meta sucked.. the second line doesnt have a punch.. and doesnt mean shit in terms of a battle.. 2/10
Yo bitch let me borrow a Light, ill burn ya just to Shine
Ur played like a fatties boobies, sick, “she jiglin like a lime”
What the hell does 'jiggling like a lime' have to do with dissing him?.. is that supposed to add something mad creative to your verse or something?.. no punch.. just garbage.. 2/10
I can imagine u Vomiting over a fat women with Bulimic
Ur like a baby Wining, off that Liquor like an annoying mimic
Your metaphors are terrible.. there was no punch in this line again.. nothing was related to dissing him again.. 2/10

Overall - 9/50

Speats

This is only the first line,dont get to nervous
I could image your ass jumping around in a circus
With some wording and a set up this could have been a decent line.. but right now its missing the punch.. 4/10
Your getting annoying,and im only being honest
Parallel should shut is mouth,let me ask the dentist
honest and dentist dont rhyme.. once again.. you could have had a decent concept, but you worded it wrong.. 3/10
He could brake some teeth and put new vocabulary in it
Then go buy new and serious shit at the clinic
This doesnt relate to battling at all.. no punch either.. 2/10
Ill traught lyrics deeper than michael jackson's nose
Youll finish ugly enought to open your own"Magical Show"
Decent metaphor in the first line.. pretty good attempt at flipping his name in the second.. work on wording your punches, though.. 5/10
Poeple d'be ready to pay alot of money to see your ass in there
Then after,Buy a mic and stop complaining dat its a parent affaire
Generally speaking after you make a punchline you leave it at that.. dont follow up on your punch in the next set up.. decent attempt at a personal in the second line.. 4/10

Overall - 18/50

VOTE - SPEATS

Please hit up the link in my sig..

ill check it later...upppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

thats a hate vote, the guy hates me im gonna d/q it ight

Voted For: Magical

Speats...

This is only the first line,dont get to nervous
I could image your ass jumping around in a circus
This was weak man...4/10

Your getting annoying,and im only being honest
Parallel should shut is mouth,let me ask the dentist*
Doesn't even rhyme, weak punch man...2/10

He could brake some teeth and put new vocabulary in it
Then go buy new and serious shit at the clinic
...wack....4/10

Ill traught lyrics deeper than michael jackson's nose
Youll finish ugly enought to open your own"Magical Show"
your best bar...eh....6/10

Poeple d'be ready to pay alot of money to see your ass in there
Then after,Buy a mic and stop complaining dat its a parent affaire*
...way off the flow...and weak...3/10

overall: 19/50


magical...

Why u jumpin off to temptation, ur way to judgemental
Ur so played out u remind me of a wack Instrumental
....no...was bad punch...4/10

Ur so dumb, u put cigarette buds in urself, ur so retarded
U touch little boys?, like a Queer, don’t even get started
...stupid punch man...all played concepts...4/10

I’m Napolean Dynamite when it comes to Explodin u
yea I got a 12 gage thats why im the gun, controlling u(1)
man...this was wack.....3/10

Yo bitch let me borrow a Light, ill burn ya just to Shine
Ur played like a fatties boobies, sick, “she jiglin like a lime”(2)
...eh, one of your best lines this battle...5/10

I can imagine u Vomiting over a fat women with Bulimic(3)
Ur like a baby Wining, off that Liquor like an annoying mimic
....don't really get it...eh...4/10

overall: 20/50

This battle was wack...both of you elevate now!

v/magical

iight uppinn...........................................

Voted For: Magical

nice battle. you took it better rhym'n ur opener killed his ...closer to nice drop lot of original shit in your spit. .

opener//jaa
closer//jaa
metas//jaa
personals//jaa
appeal//jaa
wordplay//jaa
vocab//jaa

over all i thought this was a sweep . jaay you took this one super easy

speats.. nice drop it jus wasnt enough to beat jay's

return the honest vote

Vote//Ill Jaay

thanks uppin

...................................

uppin
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uppin............................................. ......

uupppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

This was feedback posted for Magical
 

.........checkin.................................. ...

uppin............................................. .....

uppin.............................................

Voted For: Magical


Speats
I Wasn't Feeling Ya Verse Man, You Had Some Alright Vocabulary And All But I Wasn't Feeling Your Punches Try And Up On That Man, Your WordPlay Was Horrible Man Try To Read More Battles, Also Your Structure, Man You Need To Elevate On That Coz It's Horrible, You Need To Use Personals To, Over All Your Verse Was Basic

Affinity
Good Verse Man, You Had punches, Punches Was There And Was Hitting Hard, You Had Ya Personals Which I Enjoyed Reading, Vocabulary Nice Man, Hey!! Me And You Almost Alike With The Structure, Lol Weerd, Well Your Word Play Was There I Could Read Everything Clead, You Had Some Good Meta's Over All Your Verse Was More Advanced

Vote-Affinit,
No Hate
Peace Man

thanks alot, but actually i think are stucture is the same, im better wit stucture on my topicals go read them under Parallel

i didnt have any word play...i think lol but apreciate it still,thanks atleas you voted

yo uppin..........................................

Voted For: Magical

Voted for Affinity

Affinity got this due to a more serious approach on his verse, he was to the point had sum ight punches, a good flow, descent structure not many multies though

Speats ya verse was ight had a few nice punches but ya verse was lackin severity the whole michael jackson nose thing nah wasnt feelin it fam. Ight strucutre no multies that i saw

Affinity Bes Line:
Why u jumpin off to temptation, ur way to judgemental
Ur so played out u remind me of a wack Instrumental
(lil soft but nice for a opener)

Speats worse line:
Ill traught lyrics deeper than michael jackson's nose
Youll finish ugly enought to open your own"Magical Show"
(nah dude what was that all about, not feelin it)

Overall
Punches- Affinity
Flow-Tie
Structure- Tie
Multies- None
Aggression- Affinity

Aggression is sumtin i vote on now a days jus the severity of the verse (ex. Comical, Severe, Wack etc......)

Give Affinity a 8/10 on the verse
Give Speats a 6/10 on his verse

Good Battle fams
Not Hatin, Jus Votin

Voted For: Magical

Affinity

Why u jumpin off to temptation, ur way to judgemental
Ur so played out u remind me of a wack Instrumental
^2nd line's funny, 1st's bleh...

Ur so dumb, u put cigarette buds in urself, ur so retarded
U touch little boys?, like a Queer, don’t even get started
^okay okay

I’m Napolean Dynamite when it comes to Explodin u
yea I got a 12 gage thats why im the gun, controlling u(1)
^not really feeling it

Yo bitch let me borrow a Light, ill burn ya just to Shine
Ur played like a fatties boobies, sick, “she jiglin like a lime”(2)
rofl...shit made me laugh...

I can imagine u Vomiting over a fat women with Bulimic(3)
Ur like a baby Wining, off that Liquor like an annoying mimic
good closer

Okay, had good punches but no real personals which is a shame in fact. But your punches made up for that cause you had nice creativity, hardly had played stuff in there. Some weren't that hardhitting but they were all from a quite high level. Structure's good just like your vocab, was also feeling your flow. Solid drop!


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SpeatsBeats

This is only the first line,dont get to nervous
I could image your ass jumping around in a circus
^2nd line's decent, ugh at first one

Your getting annoying,and im only being honest
Parallel should shut is mouth,let me ask the dentist*
^aight,again 2nd better than first line

He could brake some teeth and put new vocabulary in it
Then go buy new and serious shit at the clinic
^liking first line,2nd falls off

Ill traught lyrics deeper than michael jackson's nose
Youll finish ugly enought to open your own"Magical Show"
^lmao, funny stuff...

Poeple d'be ready to pay alot of money to see your ass in there
Then after,Buy a mic and stop complaining dat its a parent affaire*
^Haha,liking your closer

Okay, you kinda came through at the ending because those last 2 bars were real good. Too bad you kinda had a slow start there, because one of the lines in those bars were good but the other one ruined the whole thing almost all the time. Shame in fact because you tried some personals and creative punches but in the beginning, it just wasn't working out too well. Try to get at level you had in the ending from the start 'cause definately like those last 2 bars. Structure, vocab and flow were straight on point though. No hate...

Please RTF: http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=177089, thanks...