Linguistics vs forgotten flow
 

Battle Rules:

20 - 30 lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting


Topic: Thoughts before drownding

Minimum posts to vote: 100

Check in by: 03-06-05 at 08:25 PM

Must drop verse in 2880 minutes after check in.

Linguistics has ACCEPTED this battle on 03-05-05 08:37 PM.

Forgotten Flow has ACCEPTED this battle on 03-05-05 09:10 PM.

aight yall. my mind works deeper than most so yes this is the thoughts i'd be thinkin. if its too comple for u to understand, then dont penalize me for it. DONT VOTE. i figured it would be better if i spitted from my real thoughts. so here they go...

My body submerged in this water is nothing. My soul’s been drownin in sorrow for years/
So I leave this frigid world as an adolescent who fronts about having no fears/
But I do have fears. Like how my father took out his rage on his child of the oldest age/
And used five fingers to beat his face, then sat and laughed as he bleeds in pain/
Then this ten year old became a man and used my newfound brains to extract revenge/
Asked my dad to move with him and made his and his wifes life livin hell for months on in/
So I ask u why would I have any thoughts on losin my air circulation to H2O?/
I’ve died before, I’ll just come back once again and make my presence known/
I tote the spirits of the young and the old as i enter the soul of the mighty god Poseidon/
and face the embrace of the most un controlled substance since the Watts riots/
wrap myself in chains to keep my instincts restrained as i enter this saturated domain/
see only God can judge me, and only his son can relate to my pain/
i wonder what my mom will think when im gone, the unepected death of her youngest kid/
Cant be a whole lot since she doesnt thihk that much of me as i live/
16 years old, girlfriend's already got a kid and mine's soon on the way/
at least he wont grow up and have a rageaholic father like me/
and its likey, that i wont be allowed to die if i drown in this moment of time/
cause i've spit verses at God too, so i might've pissed him off wit my rhymes/
so fuck it, here goes nothin, im soon to be dumped into the ocean blue/
time halted for 20 lines in my mind to let thoughts go through...
~Yung Duke~

uppin.............................................

upppppppiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn ddddaaaaaaammmmnnnnnniiiiiiittttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

gkrbfewhkjadhidshkjcdskl<<<<<WTF was that?????????

upsy dazy.............................................. .........people vote

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Upupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupup

dfljfslks dm;sdfjljvojhfroujrkm,vli fjuoxjdhfjdsj l;sdjflkjodjoijdf ;dj foadsadj

Voted For: Forgotten Flow

Damn...this battle was hot

I just had to go w/forgotten flow...the emotion u put into this was amazing. I was feelin everything, structure was a lil off, but u made up for it with the vividness of your description.
Not taking anything away from linguistics, cuz ya shit was hot too, but Flow jus used the topic and his personal experiences to create a mad tight verse...keep it up yall good shit!!!

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

uppin............................................. .................................................. ................

Voted For: Forgotten Flow

this was so hard to judge...

Ling: you locked the whole thoughts
approach, you had nice imagery... so
much emotion was felt. the lines were
the shortest ive seen since provoke. you
had a nice layout, you came through with
the Topical... every word fit , had nice flow
the struct made it so easy to read line to
line, however i wasnt really feeling the
style, i liked the way you wrote just the
feel, but i wanted a background image of
the whole thing as well, still dope.. nice.

forgotten: wow, the words spoke to me,
i feel like this has happened to me with
a different effect. you have nice style, but
i think your bars are a little stretched, tone
them down a little, other than that your
imagery was hot, your flow was decent. the
overrall image was easy to picture in my
mind. wisely approached, you came with a
background image and i liked that. its not
nessecary but it helps to clarify the motif of
the topical youve exposed through your
eyes. word? nice job done here...

vote/ forgotten

Voted For: Linguistics

this verse was alot better more hard hitting punchlines and alot better structure the other verse fell off a little it was consistant enough to win on punchlines this verse was the better one... I was feeling the other verse because of the structue and boring to read...

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

i just wanna know where u seen a puncline at. lol. dont w/e. uppin

uppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp o

Voted For: Forgotten Flow

alright...both structures were bad but linguuistics was better..but the imaginary...forgotten flow got that easily...forgotten flow had alot better vocabuluary...and his shit i was feelin it more...it rode the topic alot better...the flow was aiight too..

linguistics: your shit was ok..good structure..but i just wasnt feelin wat u was sayin u know..sall good though...ur shits straight..but u didnt ride the topic good enuff...and the vocab wasnt that good either

overall: flow got this

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup

Voted For: Forgotten Flow

FF-I think I was feeling yo verse wayy more. You came with more enthusiam and your verse was more interesting to read. I think you coudlve been more consistent in this one though. The last few lines seemed rushed and a lil off, but thruout yo whole verse, I think yo stayed more on topic, and explained the topic better, and rhymed it and structured it better.
Lungistics-Yo verse was ight to me, but I dont think you took it. You had good structure, but I dont think your verse flowed too good. And it was aslo too un-creative to me, and not interesting to read. I think you should work on that. But other than that i felt your verse was ight, but not winnable in this one. No hate.
overall-I think FF took this one. No hate. I voted for him because he had better structure and flow to his verse, and came more consistent, and had the least amount of flaws in this one.
No hate.

RTF. EXPLained. LinK in sig.

~1~

^Yep, youre a dick rider. I dont even think you read this one, cause I didnt see one punchline in either verse. I could be wrong, but why would they focus on punchlines in a topical?

uppin this shit f

Voted For: Forgotten Flow

nice battle here, flow just got into it a lil bi more. His was deeper and relevant to the topic. Also had nice opener and closer, only thing is improve structure.

Ling
your shit flowed well and had a great structure, and it wasnt a bad drop but flow just camehared here, no hate please rtf links in sig.

yo i just peeped this. if u can drop another link ill rtf

uppin for the ko.........................................

Voted For: Linguistics

Ok it was nice drop by both of ya'll, was deep man i was feeling it. I liked the subject as well was a good topic.
Fogotten man u structure was fucked though, u must u've "forgotten ya flow" lol jk, nah just ya bars are too long for a decent flow. Linguistics man ya flow was pretty nice but still could use some work. Overall i think linguistics took it because he portyaed his verse better overall. rtf plz,http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=188270

i gotta pu that shit back in my sig. my shit aint stretched i switch up my flow. i spit fas a lot.

Voted For: Forgotten Flow

This was a dope battle, I liked both verses but I felt
that emotionally Flows verse was much much deeper..

Flow,,.. Flow was alright nothing major, structure was
messy but it was alright.

But on emotion that shit was dope, I didn't see where
it was going but when I got closer to the end I got it
and shit started making sense. This was a really dope
verse if stucture was a little better it would have been
a really dope verse u had dope vocab aswell...

Ling,... Shit man you come with everything dope flow
dope stuc but the emotion wasn't as hard hitting as
flows was...

Vote ~ Flow for very deep emotion, and a clear vision
of what happend in his verse.

Stay up both

1~