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One M.B. vs Effect
Battle Rules:
30 Lines Max No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Challenger: Effect TOPICAL BATTLE: Topic: Lost Soul Good Luck. Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 03-15-05 at 06:09 AM Must drop verse in 1440 minutes after check in. |
Effect has ACCEPTED this battle on 03-14-05 06:10 AM.
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One M.B. has ACCEPTED this battle on 03-14-05 06:15 AM.
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i'm lost in a city, i don't know where to begin an echo of darkness everywhere tethered with sin 'n i can't move, shit not even steppin an inch 'n everythin sinks quicker every second i think about the lost childhood i wasn't livin before i'm scared, i'm begginin to fall slippin towards the shards of a life shattered as if life mattered i'm drawn like magnets down a time passage a light flashes white so bright my eye's battered it's like my minds static tried to fight back 'n i lie 'n die saggin, with the wieght a my thoughts cradled 'n wrought with the pain 'n distraught stainin the floors with the blood of my soul crimson rainbows, nothin that a love can resolve i'm stuck in a hole, drownin in the sorrow of sin don't know when today ends and tomorrow begins... I just don't fit in, anywhere….. I can't be confined I wander through the wallowing wonders of my indifference of mind My soul's a small chemical reaction lost in my brain My movement's restricted from the frost of my veins Sometimes it feels that I'm dead even though I survive Like a need to wrenched with a knife to know I'm alive Ambition obliterates small steps to my dreams Cognition incenerates my pleas to be free My heart continues to beat but I'm fractured and scattered A confluence of force housed in a rendition of matter I cry tears that don't drop, move in a vague definition Blank thoughts keep on slipping while the cursor is blinking... |
the future in my life seems like a blur and struggle nothing seems to get better just gets more in trouble suffered from pains misory ive had to deal with the lies the denies constantly askin myself why and try not to cry im to weak to get up because im always so tired then I go to work and find out my boss wants me fired waking up every morning not knowing if im dead or alive gettin myself so high on life i don't know how I survive but i try to get by but my soul seems to have lost control and I just can't hold no more there seems to be big hole thats not giving me a reason really to live here anymore im lost and can never be found don't know whats in store analizing about things that are just about to happen theres no place for me to hide everything is trapping rapping is my therapy why are all my friends my enemys I feel so hopeless you've drained all away my energy everybody wants to turn on you trying to burn you tired of being ignored a worthless guy with an atitude you make me feel anxious that im invisable to see you lower my self esteem and always have to dissagree thinkin that im differen't to everyone else around here my senses bring me fear scared away from my pears im now in tears and I can't find a single little reason I guess you really destroyed me from all the teasin I tried to stop believin but it all got way to much ive never felt so hurt things have been way to rough but i still manage to pull myself away from this stuff and finally came to a conclusion enough is enough but still I feel like that everyone has taken advantage and don't really care about what they've caused n damaged |
Voted For: Effect
i feel effect won this deep with alota emotion good rhymes good flow nice structre its one of them things that can change moods and thats why u got my vote best line----rapping is my therapy why are all my friends my enemys I feel so hopeless you've drained all away my energy |
Voted For: One M.B.
ccccccccccccccchhhhereeeeeeeecking polls and uppin |
ummm telll strobe to take my shit offf
and Xceels shit off becuase i saw them PMing eachother then right after he votes for him wierd |
u saw us pming eachother how the fuck did us pming eachother and no we didnt
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ohh thats what it is... I checked a battle.. n X-CELL was just "returnin the favor"..
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Quote:
why the hell did you vote without feedback? |
it was a mistake... he was trying to check the polls by dropping using the "feedback" button, but accidently clicked on vote.
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upping for votes..................................
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uppin............................................. .........
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upping for votes..................................
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Voted For: One M.B.
Alright very nice drops by both but, OMB takes this one,... OMB,.. Shit man where should I begin, Vocab on point strong vocab all the way I like this bar... stainin the floors with the blood of my soul crimson rainbows, nothin that a love can resolve <dame> deep emotions,.. Vocab on point and gave me a clear vision of what was in his mind. Flow was on point, as well as the emotions very nice drop man. Effect come nice but I felt that your verse was to basic to win this battle. I wasn't very emotional. Flowed really well and good vocab was used at times. This was a very good attempt man so just keep writing and u will get there. Stay up both Vote ~ OMB |
Voted For: Effect
One Man Band hmm i thought you did pretty good nice imagery great syllable count, great imagery, nice vocab but the stucture got fucked up on one line but thats not really a biggie, the emotion was ight, could be alot better tho...but overal good verse, a little minor things that could have been better but its all pretty good effect: alot better, elevation has gotten alot better, emotion is something you dont have man its a key thing but blah OMB didnt have much anyway...vocabulary was alot better then OMB's Imagery was flawless i was really feeling your imagery, stucutre was pretty damn good and the flow great syllable count keep doin your thang you getten better. pz |
LOL man.. why everyone hate voting? For real this wasnt even CLOSE... its sinner yo cmon.
And youre explination was the wrong way round. I had the better vocab and imagery he had the emotion by a hair. |
^^you never had the better imagery that was the mian thing u never had if you read both verses I had more multies in my verse better structure and hell alot more emotion i might not be good at battles but this topical battle i ripped you... take it like a man.
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Seems like you could all do with a cuddle :thumbup:
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Mkay I was trying to be nice about it before... But your vocab was too simple to have ripped me... You had NO MULTIS man... Looks like you still dont know what a multi is... and you dont know imagery either. Just a side not: Parallel has always hated me. Yesterday I was voting in random battles and voted against his alias, just by accident. And they werent explained votes I was just bored as hell... saying random shit. Somehow a few hours after that, he comes into this battle and votes for you. Giving you a false impression you won. cos you got 2 votes. Youre other vote was from X-CELL, who is a herb that you talk to a lot (you said you were talking to him about him teaching you to punch better). He had a battle (which he lost) in which you voted for him even though he had the lesser verse. Then he came here and did the same. YOU DID NOT RIP ME. If anything I ripped you. Youre topicals arent great man, theyre the same as every other rooks shit. |
Voted For: One M.B.
OK... OMB: Amazing verse, i didnt know you had topical skill like that. You made it so complex yet simple, which is a hard thing to do but it makes the perfect topical piece. Your vocabulary definately won you this battle, not to mention the strong emphasis on wordplay and multies and the emotion was good. A couple good lines of imagery tied this whole piece together.. Overall: 9.5/10 Effect: Not to make you seem like a bad topical writer, But you came a little too basic and a little too obvious for me. I mean within the first 8 lines i knew exactly where your story was going. You cant make a topical piecve be that way, you gotta have the element of suprise and imagination. Dont do what everyone else does be original, and your piece was far from that. Vocab was decent could have been better, your imagery was a bit better than OMB. Emotion i thought would be the deciding factor but you slipped off of it and went on a totally different level. You got back into the emotin but it wasnt enough. Your creativity lacked. Vote: OMB please return the favor with an honest vote.. links in sig |
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fuck you asshole I know your just swaying votes in and I did have a few multies in the verse if you looked through it and what the fuck are u sayin i had no imagery for when my verse was full of it! Don't pay attention to what he says all he wants is to cheat and win this battle like he DR all of his battles just jelous get a life omb.. |
You cant sway. People only see both our verses, it was justification. I dont D/R all of my battles I win them fair and square...
AND you said you had MORE multis. you had like 3... EVERY rhyme in my verse was a multi. Shit just realize, my verse was better... Yours wasnt bad, but it didnt win the battle. |
Voted For: One M.B.
aight....this was an okay battle effect...i thought you came out with the typical path concerning this topic....wasn't really feeling your verse much either, i feel you strayed alot, going from thought to thought, which made it less involving to read....however, your emotion was pure and probly the best aspect of your piece, i could really feel this "soul" had been through struggles...but i also felt you could have described it better with more vocab and wordplay...overall, your verse was good, but predictable and basic....no twist or anything, just an average piece "thats not giving me a reason really to live here anymore im lost and can never be found don't know whats in store analizing about things that are just about to happen theres no place for me to hide everything is trapping rapping is my therapy why are all my friends my enemys I feel so hopeless you've drained all away my energy" ^probs my fav part of your piece OMB...nice drop, the middle, i felt was the weakest part because your opening and your closing parts were just so raw with thought and emotion/imagination, i was really feeling it too, especially towards the end of it because you picked your words very nicely and it all wrapped up nicely....i feel your imagery is what you need to work on the most....i think that at point you are using to much vocab and it strains the overall potential of your piece....but i still feel this was a very well put together piece, good idea, great emotion....great closing, very true and easy to relate to.......and one more thing, it was kinda hard at times to interpret some lines 'cause of spellin errors and what not, certain wordplay...but thats not hard to fix, you probly typed this out really fast...wordizzle "My soul's a small chemical reaction lost in my brain My movement's restricted from the frost of my veins Ambition obliterates small steps to my dreams Cognition incenerates my pleas to be free" ^wooo, these lines kicked |
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