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-   -   One M.B. vs Effect (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=181747)

Terumoto 03-14-05 06:09 AM

One M.B. vs Effect
 
Battle Rules:

30 Lines Max
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Challenger: Effect

TOPICAL BATTLE:

Topic: Lost Soul

Good Luck.

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 03-15-05 at 06:09 AM

Must drop verse in 1440 minutes after check in.

System 03-14-05 06:10 AM

Effect has ACCEPTED this battle on 03-14-05 06:10 AM.

System 03-14-05 06:15 AM

One M.B. has ACCEPTED this battle on 03-14-05 06:15 AM.

Terumoto 03-14-05 06:33 AM

i'm lost in a city, i don't know where to begin
an echo of darkness everywhere tethered with sin
'n i can't move, shit not even steppin an inch
'n everythin sinks quicker every second i think
about the lost childhood i wasn't livin before
i'm scared, i'm begginin to fall slippin towards
the shards of a life shattered as if life mattered
i'm drawn like magnets down a time passage
a light flashes white so bright my eye's battered
it's like my minds static tried to fight back 'n
i lie 'n die saggin, with the wieght a my thoughts
cradled 'n wrought with the pain 'n distraught
stainin the floors with the blood of my soul
crimson rainbows, nothin that a love can resolve
i'm stuck in a hole, drownin in the sorrow of sin
don't know when today ends and tomorrow begins...
I just don't fit in, anywhere….. I can't be confined
I wander through the wallowing wonders of my indifference of mind
My soul's a small chemical reaction lost in my brain
My movement's restricted from the frost of my veins
Sometimes it feels that I'm dead even though I survive
Like a need to wrenched with a knife to know I'm alive
Ambition obliterates small steps to my dreams
Cognition incenerates my pleas to be free
My heart continues to beat but I'm fractured and scattered
A confluence of force housed in a rendition of matter
I cry tears that don't drop, move in a vague definition
Blank thoughts keep on slipping while the cursor is blinking...

Effect 03-14-05 06:48 AM

the future in my life seems like a blur and struggle
nothing seems to get better just gets more in trouble
suffered from pains misory ive had to deal with the lies
the denies constantly askin myself why and try not to cry
im to weak to get up because im always so tired
then I go to work and find out my boss wants me fired
waking up every morning not knowing if im dead or alive
gettin myself so high on life i don't know how I survive
but i try to get by but my soul seems to have lost control
and I just can't hold no more there seems to be big hole
thats not giving me a reason really to live here anymore
im lost and can never be found don't know whats in store
analizing about things that are just about to happen
theres no place for me to hide everything is trapping
rapping is my therapy why are all my friends my enemys
I feel so hopeless you've drained all away my energy
everybody wants to turn on you trying to burn you
tired of being ignored a worthless guy with an atitude
you make me feel anxious that im invisable to see
you lower my self esteem and always have to dissagree
thinkin that im differen't to everyone else around here
my senses bring me fear scared away from my pears
im now in tears and I can't find a single little reason
I guess you really destroyed me from all the teasin
I tried to stop believin but it all got way to much
ive never felt so hurt things have been way to rough
but i still manage to pull myself away from this stuff
and finally came to a conclusion enough is enough
but still I feel like that everyone has taken advantage
and don't really care about what they've caused n damaged

The Militant 03-14-05 07:55 AM

Voted For: Effect

i feel effect won this deep with alota emotion good rhymes good flow nice structre its one of them things that can change moods and thats why u got my vote

best line----rapping is my therapy why are all my friends my enemys
I feel so hopeless you've drained all away my energy

Status 03-14-05 07:55 AM

Voted For: One M.B.

ccccccccccccccchhhhereeeeeeeecking polls and uppin

Status 03-14-05 07:59 AM

ummm telll strobe to take my shit offf
and Xceels shit off becuase i saw them PMing eachother then right after he votes for him wierd

The Militant 03-14-05 08:23 AM

u saw us pming eachother how the fuck did us pming eachother and no we didnt

Terumoto 03-14-05 08:33 AM

ohh thats what it is... I checked a battle.. n X-CELL was just "returnin the favor"..

Effect 03-14-05 08:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Creativitie
Voted For: One M.B.

ccccccccccccccchhhhereeeeeeeecking polls and uppin


why the hell did you vote without feedback?

Terumoto 03-14-05 08:37 AM

it was a mistake... he was trying to check the polls by dropping using the "feedback" button, but accidently clicked on vote.

Effect 03-14-05 04:33 PM

upping for votes..................................

Terumoto 03-14-05 08:43 PM

uppin............................................. .........

Effect 03-15-05 07:21 AM

upping for votes..................................

Critic 03-15-05 08:31 AM

Voted For: One M.B.

Alright very nice drops by both but, OMB takes this
one,...

OMB,.. Shit man where should I begin, Vocab on point
strong vocab all the way I like this bar...

stainin the floors with the blood of my soul
crimson rainbows, nothin that a love can resolve <dame>
deep emotions,.. Vocab on point and gave me a clear
vision of what was in his mind.

Flow was on point, as well as the emotions very nice
drop man.

Effect come nice but I felt that your verse was to
basic to win this battle. I wasn't very emotional. Flowed
really well and good vocab was used at times.
This was a very good attempt man so just keep writing
and u will get there.

Stay up both

Vote ~ OMB

Parallel 03-15-05 07:16 PM

Voted For: Effect

One Man Band
hmm i thought you did pretty good nice imagery great syllable count, great imagery, nice vocab but the stucture got fucked up on one line but thats not really a biggie, the emotion was ight, could be alot better tho...but overal good verse, a little minor things that could have been better but its all pretty good

effect:
alot better, elevation has gotten alot better, emotion is something you dont have man its a key thing but blah OMB didnt have much anyway...vocabulary was alot better then OMB's Imagery was flawless i was really feeling your imagery, stucutre was pretty damn good and the flow great syllable count keep doin your thang you getten better. pz

Terumoto 03-15-05 07:32 PM

LOL man.. why everyone hate voting? For real this wasnt even CLOSE... its sinner yo cmon.

And youre explination was the wrong way round. I had the better vocab and imagery he had the emotion by a hair.

Effect 03-16-05 05:16 AM

^^you never had the better imagery that was the mian thing u never had if you read both verses I had more multies in my verse better structure and hell alot more emotion i might not be good at battles but this topical battle i ripped you... take it like a man.

Cuddles 03-16-05 06:19 AM

Seems like you could all do with a cuddle :thumbup:

Terumoto 03-16-05 12:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Effect
^^you never had the better imagery that was the mian thing u never had if you read both verses I had more multies in my verse better structure and hell alot more emotion i might not be good at battles but this topical battle i ripped you... take it like a man.


Mkay I was trying to be nice about it before... But your vocab was too simple to have ripped me... You had NO MULTIS man... Looks like you still dont know what a multi is... and you dont know imagery either.

Just a side not: Parallel has always hated me. Yesterday I was voting in random battles and voted against his alias, just by accident. And they werent explained votes I was just bored as hell... saying random shit.

Somehow a few hours after that, he comes into this battle and votes for you. Giving you a false impression you won. cos you got 2 votes.

Youre other vote was from X-CELL, who is a herb that you talk to a lot (you said you were talking to him about him teaching you to punch better). He had a battle (which he lost) in which you voted for him even though he had the lesser verse. Then he came here and did the same.

YOU DID NOT RIP ME. If anything I ripped you. Youre topicals arent great man, theyre the same as every other rooks shit.

FlowIntelligent. 03-21-05 08:46 PM

Voted For: One M.B.

OK...

OMB:

Amazing verse, i didnt know you had topical skill like that. You made it so complex yet simple, which is a hard thing to do but it makes the perfect topical piece. Your vocabulary definately won you this battle, not to mention the strong emphasis on wordplay and multies and the emotion was good. A couple good lines of imagery tied this whole piece together..

Overall: 9.5/10

Effect:

Not to make you seem like a bad topical writer, But you came a little too basic and a little too obvious for me. I mean within the first 8 lines i knew exactly where your story was going. You cant make a topical piecve be that way, you gotta have the element of suprise and imagination. Dont do what everyone else does be original, and your piece was far from that. Vocab was decent could have been better, your imagery was a bit better than OMB. Emotion i thought would be the deciding factor but you slipped off of it and went on a totally different level. You got back into the emotin but it wasnt enough. Your creativity lacked.

Vote: OMB

please return the favor with an honest vote.. links in sig

Effect 03-22-05 07:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by One M.B.
Mkay I was trying to be nice about it before... But your vocab was too simple to have ripped me... You had NO MULTIS man... Looks like you still dont know what a multi is... and you dont know imagery either.

Just a side not: Parallel has always hated me. Yesterday I was voting in random battles and voted against his alias, just by accident. And they werent explained votes I was just bored as hell... saying random shit.

Somehow a few hours after that, he comes into this battle and votes for you. Giving you a false impression you won. cos you got 2 votes.

Youre other vote was from X-CELL, who is a herb that you talk to a lot (you said you were talking to him about him teaching you to punch better). He had a battle (which he lost) in which you voted for him even though he had the lesser verse. Then he came here and did the same.

YOU DID NOT RIP ME. If anything I ripped you. Youre topicals arent great man, theyre the same as every other rooks shit.


fuck you asshole I know your just swaying votes in and I did have a few multies in the verse if you looked through it and what the fuck are u sayin i had no imagery for when my verse was full of it! Don't pay attention to what he says all he wants is to cheat and win this battle like he DR all of his battles just jelous get a life omb..

Terumoto 03-22-05 05:59 PM

You cant sway. People only see both our verses, it was justification. I dont D/R all of my battles I win them fair and square...

AND you said you had MORE multis. you had like 3... EVERY rhyme in my verse was a multi.

Shit just realize, my verse was better... Yours wasnt bad, but it didnt win the battle.

Germ 03-22-05 06:22 PM

Voted For: One M.B.

aight....this was an okay battle

effect...i thought you came out with the typical path concerning this topic....wasn't really feeling your verse much either, i feel you strayed alot, going from thought to thought, which made it less involving to read....however, your emotion was pure and probly the best aspect of your piece, i could really feel this "soul" had been through struggles...but i also felt you could have described it better with more vocab and wordplay...overall, your verse was good, but predictable and basic....no twist or anything, just an average piece

"thats not giving me a reason really to live here anymore
im lost and can never be found don't know whats in store
analizing about things that are just about to happen
theres no place for me to hide everything is trapping
rapping is my therapy why are all my friends my enemys
I feel so hopeless you've drained all away my energy"

^probs my fav part of your piece

OMB...nice drop, the middle, i felt was the weakest part because your opening and your closing parts were just so raw with thought and emotion/imagination, i was really feeling it too, especially towards the end of it because you picked your words very nicely and it all wrapped up nicely....i feel your imagery is what you need to work on the most....i think that at point you are using to much vocab and it strains the overall potential of your piece....but i still feel this was a very well put together piece, good idea, great emotion....great closing, very true and easy to relate to.......and one more thing, it was kinda hard at times to interpret some lines 'cause of spellin errors and what not, certain wordplay...but thats not hard to fix, you probly typed this out really fast...wordizzle

"My soul's a small chemical reaction lost in my brain
My movement's restricted from the frost of my veins
Ambition obliterates small steps to my dreams
Cognition incenerates my pleas to be free"

^wooo, these lines kicked


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