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Golden Dayz vs Lay-Text
Topical Rules:
30 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Hopefull votes (people trying out for your crew) No Feeding (taking my idea) Topic: Coins in the Air Minimum posts to vote: 250 Check in by: 04-13-05 at 09:23 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Golden Dayz has ACCEPTED this battle on 04-12-05 09:40 AM.
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Lay-Text has ACCEPTED this battle on 04-12-05 06:22 PM.
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Lay-Text has ACCEPTED this battle on 04-12-05 06:24 PM.
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Blue and white mixes and surrounds me with air, cares and worries disappear as if I am in the middle of nowhere. I care for nothing and my time melts away, the open space soothes my mind and my day. No money, no women, no restrictions on any time, No rhymes, no crimes, and decisions no longer ruin great finds. Value has no importance and nothing will be priced, lives no longer depend on the chances of a pair of dice. In this paradise, I wish to remain and never go back, to the track of circles where people lounge and eat big macs. Why do people choose to live where gravity rules your life, where you fight over some person who you later call a dyke? Simple, and care free is how I wish to be, I am no longer tie down by what used to constrict me Like vines around my neck choking me for every breath I have, when I reached out people would move so I have nothing to grab. Dishonesty and no loyalty made of men and their pride, confide in each other when they know it will make people cry. Ego's, amigos, and enemies all alike, fight between each other and try to be on top in life. With grass up to heads and sweat on your face, a race to the top of a mountain which only ends in disgrace. Face to face with creatures which will lie and say things amazing, and you listen to people complain about their lives through rapping Words into syllables and writing poetry that depresses young ones, tells them that they have to suffer before they can have fun. To have barriers of cultures to form many worlds, where do they come from? Where their most prized possessions will be worth what they live on. Coins in the air falling to the ground breaking more than one barrier, Lands right in the head of the drug, beer, and AIDS carrier. |
Experimental Explosions..Erupt The Center Core of The Earth.. The Meer Existence Is Dim of The Next Generations Birth.. I Put Forth..The Time and Effort To Find The Newest Resoultion.. To Stop This Disaster..And Save The World From Volancin Polution.. Scientific Fusion..Artificial Intelligence Can Only Help So Much.. To Stop Mother Nature Its Gonna Take That of A Humans Touch.. I Perplex The Complex Evolution of Formulas Dealin With Genetics.. Keep The Prospetic Future Trapped Within Understrucable Relics.. The Revalations of Christ Are Signed Through Unexplainable Acts.. And Now Hells Chambers Are Rising Through Mile Wide Cracks.. Theres To Much To Contemplate..My Stomach Is About To Ovulate.. I Look In The Mirror and The Spirits Say Death Is All Our Fate.. It Can't Be True..And To Me He Says Its All Because Of You.. I Don't Know What To Do..For 3 Days The Moon Has Been Blue.. My Life-Line Is Through...But Wait... The Devils Advocate Appears At My Gate Eyes With Raged Hate.. Blacker Than Slate..and Told Me That Surving Is Just Too Late.. "We Can Combine Our Worlds, Let The Good and Evil Collide.. Just Abide By My Directions..And A Truce Will Be Justified." Now I...Sit In The Chambers Surronded By Demonic Strangers.. Trapped Witin Danger..To Make A Solution Beyond My Thoughts.. I'm So Distraught..So Tired of This Roiting Plagued Spot.. Maybe If We Had Another Shot..Fuck I Lost My Train of Thought.. "The Time Has Come Forth..Shall We Agree or Draw Swords? Go Against Me and Live In A Scorture With Eternal Torture." To Live In A World Where Curupt Violence Will Surface Again.. or To Fight This War Not Knowing Which One Will Live To Reign.. Come On Think..My Consciece Shall Not Fail Me..What To Do?.. I Can't Do It On My Own..So I'ma Leave This Up To You.. What Should We Choose? ~R~ |
Wasn't sure if you were gonna drop in time R. Good luck.
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Yea Me Either..I Wasn't Even Gonna Show At All...I Have A Date Tonight and Shit...I Just Wasn't Motivated.
But Yea Goodluck Man. ~R~ |
I know what ya mean. I didn't really have much motivation, I had to leave in 20 min.
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Voted For: Lay-Text
Well i think this battle was pretty much one sided... Golden dayz i have seen alot better from you and your first 16 lines were just basic i was hoping for alot more but you didnt show me anything... the last last were good and you dealt more on the imagery asp[ect but you didnt stay consistent with the emotion or imagery throughout the whole verse and thats where you went wrong Lay-Text: You had a pretty solid piece i have seen better from you as well... i was a bit dissapointed but you still brung enough to the table to win thie battle.. you had better imagery and the emotion was ok but you werent really creative you let your vocabulary take over and that can hurt a verse and you know that but it was still solid enough to win this battle vote: Lay-Text |
How did he even follow the topic anyway? I re read his verse, and I still don't see how he followed the topic.
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Voted For: Golden Dayz
lol... curious ta peep this battle after the thread in LL Lay-Text, good imagery, good creativity, not enuff ta win the battle... you went off topic repeatdly with lines such as: ''I Don't Know What To Do..For 3 Days The Moon Has Been Blue..'' ^^^ other than you going off topic on a few occassions, pretty solid battle, with a creative scheme behind it, just not enuff ta get the win... Golden: nice peice, solid drop, consistancy throught, stayed on topic, creativity an imagination of the topic was edvident in lines such as: No money, no women, no restrictions on any time, No rhymes, no crimes, and decisions no longer ruin great finds. ^^^ had a nice flow ta the peice when you read it....vocab was good from both, more consistancy an better scheme an meaning ta the peice gets golden my vote... Lay-Yext, step your topic game up, creativity was good, but you gotta word an peice it together correctly, having good imagination will not get you far in topics unless you can use your ideas correctly...an you cant. Vote disqualified for suspected d/r. Crew vote removed |
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This was feedback posted for Golden Dayz
...im just checkin' the polls gentlemen...
s.v. |
Uppin This Muphucka...Will Return Favor.
Hit This Up!! ~R~ |
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Hit This Up..Dayum...
Come On Don't Sleep On These Battles. ~R~ |
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This was feedback posted for Golden Dayz
can't vote but pretty good drop by both,
lay-text, i didnt quite feel you stayed on topic but it was still a koo read,...gd, your closer was mad ill pulled your whole piece together....liked it, good stuff . good luck to both |
Please Vote On This..
Will Return Favor. ~R~ |
Voted For: Lay-Text
hotness right here.................. one of the best topicals i ever seen............ Golden Dayz.............first off, i keep sayin it and no one explains why ppl super size they writin.........anyway ya structure was tight and shit, ya flow wasn't perfect, there were some spots when it fell off and i had to re read lines to get back with the rhythm........the overall feel of ya drop was amazing.....the feeling and emotional input you got in there is cool, another topical where ya can clearly see that ya tried in this battle........the vocab was decent in there to although i feel ya could get more complex with that shit to make an even better drop, ya imagery of thoughts was cool and everythin............overall 8/10 Lay-Text...................you impress me every time you drop a topical..........i expect this kind of dopeness from ya.........the structure was tight like fuck which helped ya drop flow great........no parts where it fell off like Golden Dayz...........the vocab was complex like hell....i never seen so many big words and the way you rhymed shit was cool....a few multies in there to near the start........i think the feel to ya verse was just that little bit better cuz i think you put down ya thoughts better and ya spit had that little bit extra, prolly down to the overwhelming vocab you use......but in the long run i think this was a near perfect drop so i give it an overall...........9/10 Dope Battle From Both. Lay-Text just took this one for me!!!! V/ - Lay-Text RTF!!! Links in my siggy!!! |
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ya know a returned favour is always appreciated :thumbup:
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Voted For: Lay-Text
meh this battle was pretty good.. not the best i have seen.. but decent. i really couldnt pick up on a nice rhyme scheme from golden... both of u over-vocabbed a bit.. but some of lay-text's lines really came with nice imagery.. overall good emotion from both.. R- i really like how u got the reader involved into ur piece. meh decent battle but vote goes to LT.. just cause he came with a bit more imagery and just a nicer verse all around.. |
Voted For: Lay-Text
LAY-TEXT- Hmmm nice, you had good imaginary, with some decent creativity. Nice flow and good vocab in your verse. You came from a different angle, your piece was so original and so though-ful. Nice shit. Nice meta'z man, added some good decent images. Golden day'z- Alright, you need to upp your vocab it was pretty weak in your piece. The imaginary was weak also, you had it, but you could've added some meta;z man. The flow of your verse was good. Then angle you came in your piece, was more like lay-text, but didnt do it perfectly. You had emotion, well, a little bit. Overall- good verse, not great nor weak just average. Overall=Good writing from both of you. Lay-text you had decent meta'z with your imaginary, that's the only thing that stood out in your verse, plus vocab. Golden day'z the only thing that stood out in your verse was, emotion, it was good nor great just average. You need to upp your vocab man, the imaginary in your verse was weak, that's why i'm voting for lay-text cause he came harder with imaginary, with meta'z and plus decent vocab. No hate, pz |
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=188000
Please return a favor. This is a crew battle THE JURY VS THE O.G.'Z and this is one of the battles it's a topical, and i like WISE TOPICAL HEAD'Z TO VOTE...........would you please RTF in this battle, HONEST VOTE. thank you |
Uppin This Battle...
Hit This Up Please. ~R~ |
Voted For: Lay-Text
Aiight...I've never voted in a topical battle before, so I really dont know how to explain the vote perfectly, but I'll give it a shot... R, your verse was real good man...I havent really ever read a full topical battle, so this gave me an idea of what I've been missing...Vocab was really good, no need to work on that, imagery was great, you did a really good job on this topic... Golden, I felt that your verse was a little too basic compared to his...vocab and imagery couldve been upped alot, but you still dropped a decent verse...No haet, but I gotta go with R |
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