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Hells Fire vs Kesse
Semi-Final Round
Don't no-show because y would you since it took more then a month or two to get this far so if i was u i'd try my best.. Check ins due Saturday.. Verses Due Tuesday.. Lines: 20-40 Lines Max Topic: Unbalanced World For who ever votes in here will get 10 million... |
wtf? i just had that topic last round......word [/check in]
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u serious?? lol i'll change it
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yeah man, haha, i wouldn't have said anything but my verse last round sucked...........word
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checkin in.... sorry i was gone yesterday we still good
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yeh, its still saturday, you're golden......gl yo
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Nah, I'm the only one who is Golden :).
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^ that avy is pretty golden...lval
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Your avatar looks like your mom last night at that wild party last night. word
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topic is still unbalanced world right or did we change it
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yeah.. unbalanced world
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Last edited by Dabatos : 04-14-05 at 10:30 PM.
There ya go. He changed it, but to a Unbalanced World. I wish I had that topic. You know I'm starting to say word at the end of my posts a lot? It's weird, word. |
Unbalanced world There was a planet and god created life There was a adam and god created wife So pure after a million of jurrassic and death So sure before a villian of terroric hand depth A fruit produced to kill that what was created a tooth engulfed to vile which almighty hated curiousity and stupidity lead to death and disease animosity and nudity lead to self fire and no cease That which we relied of life turned to slave for life That which we allied for life turned to made for knife Man turned to group turned to city turned to state Politic turned group friend to enemy foed to hate Nature turned shelter to mature for home to make Nature learned skelter to rapture for throne to take Metal tool for make of tool for war tool left horrible scar Mental fool for sake of rule for war fool left terrible war Animal new to extinct juvenile turned adult for precinct Denial grew to distinct senile maned fault for excrement The worm birthed from the apple had destoyed surface to core The germ birthed from shrapnel had estoyed mallace to gore--(estoy-to be) Evil and corruption gaining weight on the planetary tetertauter vile and consumption waining fate on the evolutionary mentor Talk turned communication turned envious and gossip progression write turned conversation turn email-us and hate it no stagnation Unbalanced world of demonic message within love and strength unbalanced world of horrific homeage within good and faith Let this world find that path and forgive each other for wrath Let this problem find the math and derive each other for half Till then the sea is soughter and god berthed a demonic angel for daugther till then the blood is water and we frogs maybe mechanic pawn for faughter |
Unbalanced World
__________________________________________________ __i lived my life, where i was never accepted even though i didn't try, i was still rejected never suspected, that a reason was my family dad an unemployed drunk, but that aint the tragedy mom worked 2 jobs, and we barely came out even she deserved better, but had no time for dreamin got me steamin, and paps leaving.... such a bitch said "i only was with you, cause your daddy was rich" i could never make up, for all the things mom gave me kicked outta her home at 15 cause she was having a baby it seems like my fault, but she tells me im a fool but it doesnt really matter because im hated at school an unwritten code, youre only cool if you have alot of friends suppose to awe and drool over the latest fashion trends but i dont blend very well with the every-day crowd i can feel the hate, even though its not spoken out loud and like a cloud in the sky, passing by not making a sound until a storm brews and my innocent body takes a pound ive hit the ground many times, but i always rise above they may force their hate upon me, but cant take away my love im a dove in this world, tryin to fly freely through air but instead im hurled, cause its a fact life isnt fair you can swear all you want, even try 1000 prayers gotta learn to do it on your own, cause not everyone cares ive made alot of mistakes, but i dont let them ache because whats the point of trying, when everone else is fake for heavens sake, why cant things run smooth and work how does one make a respected repuation by being a jerk?... i live in an unbalanced world, every day theres disruptions life is like a volcano...its filled with constant eruptions theres going to be corruption, but i do the best with whats given cause things couldve been alot worse, im just thankful im livin meh, i was lazy this round :)....gl to you hells fire |
LMFAO@ Kesse being 1 minute late lol its hells fire choice now either he lets it stay or youre DQ'ed
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its all right kid good drop i see ya in the RITT man...save ya self for me there man gonna be a dope tourney ova there
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^ haha, 1 min late, i know i know...i was editing my verse and what not....haha, yeah it is suppose to be good, a gathering of all the topical heads.......should be some good verses gettin dropped
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yeah i contacted BIG Chase and tryin to get Nostra so if ya win this ya can basically call yo self the king of topicals...now that is braggin rights
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Quote:
Why can he say he is the king of topicals? |
big tourney and all the topical heads goin to it tryin to find more...ya talk to limited about the RITT
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how did people like the verses though? that is the greater concern here
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well i guess this battle needs a vote so here it goes in detail
Hells Fire: Like i said before this was probably the best topical verse i have ever seen from you... you just come so original with the idea behind the verse. And in certain areas your verse was complex but simple.. complex because you went deeper into the topic than needed but simple because it was easy to understand where you were coming from. There was a planet and god created life There was a adam and god created wife So pure after a million of jurrassic and death So sure before a villian of terroric hand depth A fruit produced to kill that what was created a tooth engulfed to vile which almighty hated curiousity and stupidity lead to death and disease animosity and nudity lead to self fire and no cease That which we relied of life turned to slave for life That which we allied for life turned to made for knife Man turned to group turned to city turned to state Politic turned group friend to enemy foed to hate Nature turned shelter to mature for home to make Nature learned skelter to rapture for throne to take That whole first part was perfect.. i like the direction you went with that part. The next few lines didnt seem appropriate.. like they were either worded wrong or in the wrong spot. But besdies that your verse was good. You really took it to another level with the vocabulary. The imagery could have been better but thats not much of a problem because the emotion was perfect.. not too emotional but you got in deep with the topic so that helped your verse out a bit. Could have included more detail. Overall: 7.7/10 Kesse: First off.. amazing flow.. the whole verse had perfect flow. That didnt fall off a bit. You stayed on the topic for the most part, but i have to say you came real simple with this verse, like you didnt try much. The imagery was good for the first 8 or so lines but then you never got detailed again for the rest of the verse and that hurt your chances of winning. Your emotion was fairly good, especially in the set up about your family and what not. That part was really good. i lived my life, where i was never accepted even though i didn't try, i was still rejected never suspected, that a reason was my family dad an unemployed drunk, but that aint the tragedy mom worked 2 jobs, and we barely came out even she deserved better, but had no time for dreamin got me steamin, and paps leaving.... such a bitch said "i only was with you, cause your daddy was rich" i could never make up, for all the things mom gave me kicked outta her home at 15 cause she was having a baby Just like Hells Fire, youre intro into the verse is great but then you slip off half way through, and i understand that the beginning has to grasp the readers attention but that doesnt mean to slack off once you have their attention, follow through on it. All in all you had a good verse, with decent imagery and some OK emotion, but your vocabulary just didnt hit the spot for me. The last 4 lines were the only lines with decent vocab in them. Besides that you had a good verse Overall: 6.8/10 So im going to have to vote for Hells Fire because i feel he got into the topic a bit more than kesse. He went into detail in some areas about an unbalanced world and he also stayed on the right path for the most part, no hate to kesse because he is topically gifted but i dont feel you tried enough in this battle. Vote: Hells Fire |
^ YAY! a vote, thank you for makin his win official :)....haha, yeah, i actually wrote this piece really fast, thats why i was late....thank you for your extensive, detailed breakdown by the way, not many people take time to do that anymore, and props to hellfire, good verse, deep...wasn't feelin the last half though, just because the structure changed and what not....thanks once again, and keep up helly
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yeah man you too...do a collabo sometime or something..........
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basiclly flow explained it all..
vote: hells fire.. hellsfire wins n very surprised lol |
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