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RIP LAUREN...deep and true.
Since she been gone, i struggle to find words for my feelings... Lay in the middle of the road, no movement, sounds or breathing. Who would have thought that this would be her last ever evening. Losing friends and family with no notification of her leaving. From all her friends, life isnt normal our emotions are flying.. We all pictured crazy shit, but never imagined our Lauren dying. I could talk to you about anything, you would listen and never ever tell. Thought earth represented heaven, but all of a sudden life seems more like hell. Even theifs murderers and rapist walk free in this cruel inhabited world.. God works in mysterious ways? Well they fucked up if he'd rather take the life from an innocent teenage girl. Couldnt help but feel emotional when i walked past the crime scene.. Had so much to look forward to, but instead got served death at only 14. Im not embarassed to say, even though its the first time in 5 years.. Dropped some flowers for respect, and couldnt help but shed my tears. If we were down, you could always crack a joke and make us cheerful.. Never lost some one one as close, didnt know life could be this hurtful.. Kept away form drugs and shit, lived her life without a single regret.. Could put a smile on anyone, your someone nobody will ever forget...... Didnt care what people thought, you were a type of your own, nothing but unique.. If only you had looked up, checked for the red light, you wouldnt have to rest in peace. RIP lauren, love you forever... |
this was emotion at its finest . mad props to you on this. pieces like this are what make what we do a art form. very very very nice
10/10 the emotion and simplicity of it all just takes it to another level Non |
deep daubs, deep........sorry bout this man, but gotta stay strong ya hear
anyways, nice deep piece, emotion was jam-packed....not too shab imagery, but it wasn't needed since this was just pure emotion....good piece man, straight from the heart, and thats what its all about keep up |
Damn this was really deep ..Sorry to read what happened.
You had lots of emontions , good feelings going into this drop.. Nice vocab , and good structure.. you had lots of imagery.. The thing that made this peice very good , was all the emotions you had in this piece.. everyone who reads this peice will realize how much you loved her..and how it surprised you when she died..stay up , and drop a link |
daubs.. this was the deepest shit i have ever read up to this date i think... your emotion nearly had me going, told you before im sorry to hear what happened but yeh u have to stay strong keep your head up man... 10/10 this was nicee....
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Sorry for your loss man, it was really really deep and made me tear man seriously. Good job.
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damn i cant say nemore jus 10/10.......................RIP Lauren.......
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word deep drop homie sorry bout yo loss and every one else who was close to her good drop homie madd respect R.I.P LAUREN may angels guide u too tha gatez.....
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Very deep n i could feel the emotion..
Cant say much more except RIP Lauren, and im sorry for the loss 10/10 Keep ya head up |
thanks for all the feed, its appreciated....uppinnnnnn for more.
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uppin............
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Man Daubs this was perfect...sorry to hear it man...damn don't wanna leave feed but it's the least I can do....10/10...perfection....
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deep shit dawg...i was feelin it. a lotta emotion i sensed. 9/10
keep it up! |
uppin..........
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Dayum bruh............Nice Open Mic......Very deep, alot of emotion and creativity.....Overall 10/10....Good job manye...keep up the good work...
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thanks for the feed everyone, appreciated.
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very nice... I liked it alot... very very deep and I feel for your loss man.
Like I said, I liked the peace... your showing alot of improvement since NOK. 8/10 |
Again, RIP to your friend and may she continue to live within your heart. Very strong piece packed with strong emotion. It's good to see you can write about something this painful, it's important to express what you're feeling in a situation like this. Kept it simple which made the piece more serene yet powerful at the same time.
Keep going strong |
definetly this was "emotion" at it's best yo...what I liked about this most was the fact that you didn't cloud it with big words and over explain and examine your feelings, you said what you felt and laid it out on the table without beating around the bush...straight up I gotta agree with them that this is a 10/10 meyn...
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this was some deep ass shit......i did aa piece about a girl i knew died......ima put the link in later but.....the emotion in this was off the chain.....i liked it it was very hearfelt and i can see you had some deep feelings for her.....so man...sorry to hear this happend...its never the best.....but good drop 10/10
feed on this http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=154893 its old thats why my structure is whacked |
This was good... nice show of emotion and sad to hear what happened... It was very easy to tell how you feel without even reading the whole thing (though I did). I'm sure it came to you very easily... 8.7/10... Return the favor on "Past to Present"
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wow...ive never read anything of yours before,but this was deep.Feels like you didnt even have to think when you did this,you just wrote what you felt.Sorry for your loss man,hopefully she in a better place.Stay strong,keep doin ya thing and keep writin like this.Im sure shed be proud of ya.pz
R.I.P |
Seriously because of the personal effect of this open mic...i'm feelin it 100% the loss obviously was great for you and you explained that well in this piece on a technical note the structure, flow, topic, rhyming are all peak performance material...i can see this as perhaps OM of the month...i remember i did an open mic for my Nan...you feel connected to the open mic piece personally...you're lucky this has had a decent response...and many condolences...
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upppppppppiiiinnnnn yo.
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