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Golden Dayz vs ~Lady Fiya~
Topical Rules: 20-30 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Feeding (Taking my idea) No hopefull votes (people trying out for your crew) Topic: Chasing Time Minimum posts to vote: 350 Check in by: 05-09-05 at 08:30 PM Must drop verse in 2880 minutes after check in. |
Golden Dayz has ACCEPTED this battle on 05-09-05 06:31 PM.
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hopeful votes? no one's trying out for GW it's invitational only.. but yeah i agree with everything but the post count.. why so low? oh well... good luck, no shady bullshit going on. :thumbup:
Good luck. |
~Lady Fiya~ has ACCEPTED this battle on 05-09-05 07:32 PM.
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Haha, well that's what I put for every battle. I don't really pay attention. If the post count is too high no one will vote. I have a battle with no votes, and one battle with only one. Good luck :thumbup:
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I might not be able to drop tomorrow. We will see. I have to go to bed.
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Chasing Time A Chronicle of Sport A beautiful morn that day was with the sun and no cloud ahead 'The race is about to start' was all the excited people had said People gathered in the stands packed together so no limbs were moved, The people eating hot dogs and drinking beer as the mothers tried to soothe But excitement was in there air and the track seemed to glow, Under the people's eye and all of the people waiting anxiously at home. Down at the track the partcipants walked to stretch and prepare, For this race was nothing that any of them would be able to compare. One man was reaching for his toes, and another stretched his arms, A cold feeling ran in every man yet the temperature said warm. This race track was as long as the earth but only 3 times that in size, Every man knew in order to win, he too would have to pull from inside. They're off! With a gun shot ringing through ears the men took their leap, Neither looking to his side, but watching his own feet. The first curve they ran but one had stumbled and fell, As he hit the ground and shattered, while some people muttered "Oh well". A sprinting down the second turn left many at a daze, For a man just stopped and said "I quit" and disappeared to a crowd enraged. Three laps too many for men started to pass out or resign, The purpose of this run was unknown, but to the men that was fine. For pride kept them running and the crowd fed their taste, Of hunger for that trophy, and whatever else came with first place! Yellow Marker The yellow tape across the lines to mark the end of pain, of shortened breath and sweaty beads that led the road to fame. They saw what happened to those who quit, and wanted to regain, The pride and self esteem in side, and not have to bear the shame. One man crossed the line for the others had all took their leave, Then he took the paper, and what he read he could not believe. 'Congradulations, dear sir, because this treasure you tried to find, has finally come true, but you still will never be able to catch time.' |
Chasing Time Views from opposite ends of the world.. Itallic = girl from Asia (Taku) Regular font= boy from the hood of Chicago (Devon) [8:00 AM Central] More than half the world runs by schedule, yeah for me it’s daylight Gotta get up and brush my teeth, dust up my sneaks start my day right Last night had me tweeking, today I meet my clique right after school My boy got a confrontation aka a brawl, tonight is going to be bad news [Same time Different place] Ma said it’s time to go to bed, I clear up my head, saying thanx to Buddah My brother left his chopsticks on the floor, I’d clean it before he gets the ruler Slapped across him hand, so I cleaned the chopsticks, Mama’s china I grabbed And poured myself a sip, then continued emptying dishes… I dropped a glass! Ma went to bed and turned her light off……. I’m trying to clean up this mess I started rushing because I knew in a little my father was to come home next And he’s the type to get mad over spilled milk, physical abuse was his sermon Contemplating what to do.. I couldn’t tell mother all she’d give was his warning Now I’m worried, I threw all the broken glass in an old box next to the waste pail I ran to my bedroom in a tip-toe manner, if I was up to something Ma couldn’t tell [3:00 PM Central] I served my detention, I noticed how time went passed.. It’s way past noon My boi should be at the front door of the building, not there, the bathroom? I didn’t see him there either.. I heard some people in the stalls and footsteps Turning around I seen my boi busted up, blood chunks on his shirt from his neck.. I picked him up off the ground asked him what was wrong and he pointed I saw the guy we were supposed to beat up, his shadow I couldn’t avoid him [Same time Different Place] *The Asian Girl, Taku is still asleep* [Sometime Later- Central] *To Be Continued* [Same time, Asia] The day was fine now I went off to school after Dad said goodbye to me I felt ashamed knowing I couldn’t tell him… yet I felt a better sense of relief Knowing I wouldn’t get in trouble for an act he’d call evil, it was a mistake The broken glass was my mischief, I refuse to let an object take my mind away From my concentration on my test.. *Finished* I received the best grade in class I ran home to tell my mother and I heard my dad shake and rattle the box of glass …I opened my mouth to say it was an accident and I felt the heat in his fist He was more pissed to see my face than to look at the glass, I hoped he missed And he swung again and knocked me to the ground… my soul’s eye busted open I felt my iris pierce through a new light shined through, my body was broken *To Be Continued* Words of wisdom (Lady Fiya) Time is a relation of fate. It cannot be controlled. You can controll your actions, but not any outcome. “Fear none of those which you shall suffer” -Revelations 2:10 |
Good luck, nice solid drop.......................... :thumbup:
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You too, really confusing though, lol. Well nice to see some creativity in people still.
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i meant to put colors on it as well.. so i posted in poetic scriptures as well.. you did very nicely. :thumbup:
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As you, this is gonna be close. Honor to battle ya. Let the voting commence!
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Voted For: Golden Dayz
hmmm, this was a cool battle i was feeling golden's more though...although he lacked a little in emotion, the imagery was awesome and i really like the originality of the topic he chose, really had me involved with his verse....lady, yours was good, thought you had better emotion, tough idea to make work effectively i think, because i think it kinda took away from the overall enjoyment of the piece, jumping back and forth, it was neat and creative....but i think if you had more lines you coulda made it work better....just too short of a piece to do that idea with.... so yeah, both had nice verses, original..but im going with golden for overall enjoyment.....keep up to both though v/The Revalation |
Voted For: Golden Dayz
Aii This Is what I Think The Revelation Aii Man Your Images that you paint With Your words where off The chain it was The shit forreal Man You stayed on Topic The full 100% way of the time and your drop was so intellegent man Th evocabulary was fine no words that i havent heard of LOL but the way that you combine certain words with such feelings is amazing man so all i can say is that you have a really intellegent drop man thats why ima give you the vote RTF In The Link In My Sig |
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Voted For: Golden Dayz
this battle was tight Lady Fiya..... i thought you had a real nice way of approaching this battle, the topic wasn't all too difficult and yet you managed to drop a verse that had a complex way of lookin at it.....i liked how the verse also had a sort of relaxed feel about it, the imagery of the verse was nice, you really brought the topic to life....ya flow was on point throughout and the vocabs in there was nice to........overall i give it 8/10 Golden Dayz..... you had a decent take on the topic to, your structure was pretty much flawless and it was nice how you split it into the three different sections.......you went the way of describing an event in ya verse, you did it well and i was feelin the verse, a nice piece of imagery......your vocabs was nice to and your flow was near perfect.....the thoughts you put into the verse to go with the whole event was a nice touch, not like some who just try to tell a story about sumthin....overall i give this an 8.5/10 yes, it was that close....... overall i didn't expect either of these drops based on the topic, both took an original way of approaching the battle and they twisted the topic with complex pieces that stayed on the topic....both had nice vocabs and feeling in their verses but overall i think Golden barely edged it out. V/ - Golden Dayz RTF!! on this battle!!! don't and i will have my vote removed!!! cuz ya know how sum ppl dont both returnin the favour!!! :thumbup: http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=191730 |
Voted For: Golden Dayz
The Rev Nice Verse Man Alot Of Meta's Here Some Decent Shit Hommie Came Good, Structure Was Good You Had Nice Vocabulary In here Which Was Dope, No Rhyme Scheme But It Was Aiight Man, You Had Good Wordplay Here Alot Of Shit In Here Was Dope Strong Closer Man You Had A Good Ammount Of Vocabulary That Shit's Nice, Personally This Is One Of Your Best Lady F Nice Shit Shorty You Had Some Good Vocabualr yAs Wll Alot Of Meta's Which Was Good To Find, Structure Was Decent, Close Battle Girl I Didn't Know Yo uWas Topical Wow, You Had Alot Of Good Menaing In Your Verse Deep Shit On The Real This Was A Good Piece, Girl Close Battle But Shit Nice Dro pFrom Both My Vote Is To-The Rev |
good looks.. good job, rev. you did very well. if you want you can get this close. you got this by KO, congratulations. Damn topicals lol :thumbup:
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upping for you......... so we can close this for your sake.. so you can shut up about it, i tried to be a good sport, you just getting on my nerves now. so uppin..........................
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Oh I'm sorry I don't read every post in here, Fiya. I just posted and kept going with my day. I'm sorry I'm proud I beat you, I respect your lyrics but I guess that I just should have acted like you were just some person who sucked. I'm sorry for respecting you. I'll post the link so this will get closed, px
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