|
Mr. Hahn vs Stanza
Battle Rules:
20-30 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Bullshit No Hate Crew battle: Illunatikz vs OG Topical Battle :) - topic: Summer Rain gl to both: 4 days to check, 3 to drop Minimum posts to vote: 200 Check in by: 05-17-05 at 03:13 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Stanza has ACCEPTED this battle on 05-16-05 03:41 PM.
|
Summer Rain Feeling Of the Pitter Patter On My Neck As The Sun Stays Out The Pain filled Drops Hit The ground As The Clouds of Doubt Fill My Mind as I continue to Past These Forbidden Flaws A Road That Was Dead And Left Without Reasonable Cause A Road That Was Full With Floods from These Summer Rains These Summer Rains Continue To Bring More Summer Pains And Yet I Have Nothing To Gain...........But I Alot To Lose This Rains Conludes and Construde my Clear Reality Of Clues That Will Help Me to find my Way Out Of this Hell on Earth Lines of water On The Street help Me To Retrace My Birth To Find The Past & Help My Present And Fulfill My Future Its Ashame Of What These Summer Rains Can do To Ya So I Sit In My Shame As Guilt Vigourisly Pounds My Head Then I Finally Realize .......That All Hope is Not Yet Dead I Have Determined Faith The size of a Mustard Seed To Move Mountains & Crush Opposers That Try To Suceed The Lord Was On My Side As I Walked In This Summer Rain And yet The Guilt And Shame Only continue to Bring More and More Pain into My Shatter and Dismantled Brain Looking for A Correct way Out And Theres No One To Blame But All is well Becuase I Made it Out of This Mentally Sane Becuase Nothing Can Bring More Pain Than Summer Rain |
Mr. Hahn has ACCEPTED this battle on 05-17-05 06:33 AM.
|
Canicular waves circumvent themselves all around me Stranded in torment odious liquid sunshine surrounds me Criticals free-falling from swarms of nuclear reaction Analytical breeze blazing storms stirring vapor contractions Dangerous lands of diabolical enchantment swirling Tides of virological events unfurling Experimental projectiles charming hydrogen qualities Mixing elemental properties alarming oxygenic duality Drowning chemicals with disatrous misfortune steadily downing in polemical pruportions Manifesting bloodless onslaught on the face of it Molesting strategic thought, hitting as luck would have split Remaining away, watching how heavens fight hells Attaining sense of will, glaring in the distance as the ground swells Suddenly mist strikes the summer, something long-overdue Unknowingly this is the year that hope fails you, too Compromisingly the march against freedom has ended Surprisingly the spiraling arch has been expended With the world at its rest this summers rein has ended A sobering glimpse of winter never to be suspended just a quick keystyle... good luck |
Uuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinm mmmmmnn
|
This was feedback posted for Mr. Hahn
checkin polls.....................................
|
.................................................. .................................
|
.................................................. .................................
|
man fo real need some votes........................
|
Voted For: Stanza
this is my first time votin on a topical, so dont hate if you dont like my vote... Stanza, you pulled off using the word "rain" like 30 times, and it came out good... i really actually like this peace. I like the diffrent ways you decribe summer rain, and what it does... a couple bars were stretched but nothing major... fav bar: I Have Determined Faith The size of a Mustard Seed To Move Mountains & Crush Opposers That Try To Suceed i think this means you have zero faith, but you dont need cuz your still "strong".... very good peice i think ++ Mr Hahn, i feel like i was in highschool english again, damn, i mean good vocab, but i think your kind of cocky is saying "this was just a quick keystyle"... thats one of the other reasons im voting against you, its kinda grimey that this a crew battle with a pretty nice topical topic, and you say "its a quick keystyle" i think thats very disrespectful, but anyways... the flow was pretty str8, like i said vocab was good... fav bar: Remaining away, watching how heavens fight hells Attaining sense of will, glaring in the distance as the ground swells i could visualize that pretty well... but you seemed to dtraw frmo the topic, or you were just kinda "vague". I voted for Stanza, his was very specific to the topic... good battle tho |
This was feedback posted for Stanza
Wow.... very hard to vote... very good battle!!!!
Structure - Both Flow - Both Punchlines - Both Vocab - Both wordplay - Both Namepaly - None Creativity - Perfect both, very vreative but stanza got mo' imagination on here Stanza better creativity Mr. Hann very good vocab very very hard to vote, RTF |
Thanx Mayne We Uppin Bcuz Im Up I-o LOL ..........
|
:laugh2: you don't vote against some1 because they were "disrespectful" lmfao it's all in the verses but yo if you feel he won oh well... i wont think much of your bs vote
|
Quote:
Just realized there was another vote that hasnt set on the poll... im glad it wasnt cas it aint votin for nobody, i just feel it was a waste of time and space to have posted something so insignificant as what ax dogg did... pffft i quess ya'll bitch's votin against the guy who's vocab overpowers youuuuuu hahaha sorry im just jealous that stanza has superior skill over me.... thats all :thefinger :thefinger :thefinger |
.................................................. .................................
__________________ |
.................................................. .................................
|
Thanx ................................................
|
bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump .
__________________ |
soooooooo many users that cant vote... what a waste lmfao BUMP
|
bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump .
__________________ __________________ |
This was feedback posted for Mr. Hahn
checkin-ness........................................
|
bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump .
__________________ __________________ |
Voted For: Stanza
Stanza You Got Lucky That Han Lacked A Storyline... Aiight Its Like This... Stanza Had Consistant Flow, Good Emotion And Imagry... Also What Won This For Him Was The Storyline... Han Completely Lacked Something To Fallow Along With... And Althought It Had Amazing Vocab, Imagry And Flow Was Straight... You've GOT To Have A Storyline, Its A Topical... That Is The Point Of Topical Writing... Pretty Good Battle Though... Han Just Work On Your Storylines And Concepts... Then You Could Be Great... .One. |
bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump .
Thanx Mayne We Still Uppin |
bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump
|
Voted For: Stanza
Creativity - This was close but Stanza Flow - Hahn On topic - Stanza (just) Enjoyment - Both Illest concept/Line - Stanza : well Becuase I Made it Out of This Mentally Sane Becuase Nothing Can Bring More Pain Than Summer Rain dope dope dope overall - ILL READ! well it was good anyway lol appreciated but vote - stanza v.hard to decide catagories were so close in choosing Stay up |
bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump
|
bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump.bump
|
Voted For: Stanza
Aight Its Like This.. Stanza: Simlpe Vocabulary Here, and When I First Started Reading Mr. Hahns I Was Like DamN His Vocab Sick, but Then I Looked Deeply and His Shit Was Overworded and Didn't Make Sense. Your Piece Had A Sort-of Poetic Justice Feel To It Which I Like. Not My Topic of Choice LoL, but Ya'll Did Ya Thing. Mr. Hahn: Man, You Tried To Put All That Vocab In, but When You Do That You Have To Make Sure Its Not Overclouding and That It Makes Sense. With Sucha Simple Topic As This, You Went Way Beyond What You Should've. This Took Away From The Read and Feel of Your Topic. Vote - Stanza For Better Overall Topical Verse. ~R~ |
THanx mayne .................Still uppin lets end this shit asap
|
Voted For: Stanza
OK, i dont know how to votre for topicals properly but, In my opinion, stanza just wanted it more... He came harder with vocab used, although both were good, and overall had better imagery. Hann yours was nice in parts but some bars seemed out of place, and stanza just stuck to the topic throughout. No hate. |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:03 AM. |