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Devolve vs (Stanza)
Topical Battle Rules:
12 No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Hate No Dickriding Topic - " Infernal tidal waves " Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 06-09-05 at 02:33 PM Must drop verse in 180 minutes after check in. |
(Stanza) has ACCEPTED this battle on 06-09-05 02:05 PM.
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Devolve has ACCEPTED this battle on 06-09-05 02:09 PM.
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..:: Infernal Tidal Waves ::..
It was A Nice Sunny Day on A Nice Sunny Beach I Was in a Nice bright Mood..But i dare not To speak On what happened that Day While the Waves Came It Was a Big Tidal wave .........But It was in Flames At First I Thought I was Totally Out Of my Mind How Can Water Catch Fire in Such A quick Time? Then In my State Of Thought I Forgot My Conflict Which Was Bad Considering I Was about to be hit So I Treid my best To out Run This Infernal Insanity But every Move I Made It Stayed above Me In vanity ..:: Want To Know what Happened ::.. I Stopped & Said My Prayers Before my Hour Of Infernal Conclusion But Then I Open My Eyes and Seen That This Was Only an Illusion Goodluck :thumbup: |
Flames gallavanting with the devil, riding refreshing waves. Civilians now aware, heads are spinning & the air is grasping with craze. Fleeing ; yet the tides have not clashed against barriers or lives. Then, inferno resides and unleashes an aquatical monster devour husbands & wives. Beckoning screeches of agony, sharp stabs of cold penetrate. Lashing havoc batter the shores, hold back, reign & dictate. Panic insues trampling feet, bodies wander & greet the air. Unfurling more waves, sweeping the innocent & leaving nothing spare. Still, there are a handful fighting against this puppet of nature. This event will cause deep cuts in households, scars...& craters. For those lost, will be remembered for being struck by water & fire. But highlights a denser moral, opposites can function in this world, ..& inspire. |
Thats Niec Mayne You Got Some Raw Talent ....Ima Go and drop This battle link In Some of those Vote shops You Jus lay Back Bcuz we bout to get some votes up in here LOL
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Voted For: Devolve
ight this is how i see it... Devolve: i liked this alot... you went deep into your topic explaining wit emotion whats happening and everything i enjoyed it every much. you need to work on yuor flow in some parts that is important i think, your vocab was very good, u stayed on the subject and gave a thoughur understanding of what was happening... here is one bar i think stood out from the rest: Beckoning screeches of agony, sharp stabs of cold penetrate. Lashing havoc batter the shores, hold back, reign & dictate. ^^ this was real good, this is where the waves hit am i right? overall i felt you had a real strong verse for this well done keep droppin em man.... (stanza): ight i thought your verse was good but i didn't think u showed some emotion until near the end which was a big flaw, try to go deep into your topic so u can get a better understanding, other than that the flow was good and your vocab was real good, just try to go deeper in your topics and show more emotion... here is one bar i think stood out from the rest: So I Treid my best To out Run This Infernal Insanity But every Move I Made It Stayed above Me In vanity ^^ this was easliy your best line had good vocab and this was kinda deep and u showed emotion ight man u did alright but not as good as devolve so thats why i'm giving it to him, v/ devolve for having a more indepth verse and showing more emotion in it.. rtf on any battle in my sig pz |
I'll rtf when I get enough posts to vote E.C. Thanks.
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Voted For: Devolve
Devolve had this shit easily.Stanze....ur shit was basic.U started off talkin bout the beach all peaceful...then all a sudden started talkin tragic.Ur flow was good until that line bout water catching fire.From then on...ur verse fell apart.U had no decent metas and basic vocabulary. Devolve got this easily. |
Voted For: Devolve
Stanza- The best aspect from your verse was imaginary, The emotion kinda lacked in this verse. You had a great balance of vocab in your verse. But next time i suggest you use wordplays and meta'z unto your imaginary, but overall, this was a ok drop. Devolve- Alright man, you had good imaginary, you had a great balance from your vocab. You had good balance of metaphors, I liked how you portray with words man...it was a nice drop. CONCLUSION= Alright This battle has to be vote on by imaginary. The emotion ya'll BOTH need working on. Alright stanza you had good imaginary, but you didnt put out much details like devolve, and the metaphors was good. Alright...Devolve i vote for you because you put out alot of details in your imaginary, you had great balance of vocab in your verse. Metaphors was there, stanza the only reason i didnt vote for you because you had LESS details in your imaginary.... 1 |
Thanks for the votes. Lets get this closed and my first win :cool:.
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Voted For: Devolve
stanza= 2 basic, nuthin out ov da oedinary creative wise. very poor vocabulary also, noit much imagination within ur verse & it wuz a lil hard 2 find any emotion in da words u exopressed, u culd ov used da scheme ov ur topic 2 much more effect, itz and ez win 4 devolve Devolve= good strong topical, vocab wuz strong, u seemed 2 have a more complex scheme an concept 2 ur peice. emotion wuz strong, especially towrds da end, u started off a lil slow but after da ''lashing havoc batter the shores'' line, u really picked up on emotion, imagination & creativity wuz good throughtout da peice, good enjoyable read. Vote=Devolve-more emotion & a more complex scheme 2 da chosen concept. rtf |
Damn You Got This Win .LOL Nice drop mayne i told you that you was good
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Hook me up with the KO lol........................
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Voted For: Devolve
Stanza: Your Piece Had Direction...You Took The Story and Kept With It and Thats Good, but You Lacked On The Other Three Categories. Your Imagery Wasn't Good..I Couldn't Even Picture What You Wrote, Emotion Was Not There At All, and Your Vocabulary Was Just Repulsive. You Gotta Elevate Man. Devolve: Aight, Your Overdueing Your Vocabulary Which Is Taking Away From The Feel of Your Topical Drop. Vocabulary Is Important, but It Has To Make Sense and Still Get The Emotion and Imagery Across. Your Direction Was Just A Complete Circle...You Kept Talking About The Same Thing, and There Wasn't Any Emotion. Just Elevate As Well. My Vote - Devolve For Better Overall Topical Drop. ~R~ |
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