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Cheater - Sick Story Tellin
this aint a true story, just some story tellin i decided to do.. peace... See when it started out, yo....everything was Nice and Sweet Id treat her Like a Queen and clung to every word that Wifey Speak In public she was Slightly Meek, but in the bedroom Nightly She a Feisty Freak, and wanted it a minimum of Twice a Week It was good, til one day she went Crazy, started Flippin over stupid shit, im jus like "Baby, why u Trippin?!?" "U see MAYBE, if you LISTENED, every Once and a While I wouldnt have to yell at u in Front of my Child But ur FUCKN worthless." "RELAX n jus Stop Cursin.." I tried to keep my cool as the anger i Got Worsened "Sweety go to bed, mommy needs a little Breathing Room" "Can u tuck me in?" "Sorry angel cant, im Leaving Soon.." N she went into her room, where she Closed and Locked the Door Then i went up to her mom, "Why u Posin Problems For??" "Cuz im SICK of U, enough is enough, aint takin SHIT from U A loser, and ur rapping is shit, wat kinda SPIC are U??" this Bitch Is Rude, n she gonna hear it cuz i aint Havin It "Ur FUCKED up, no wonder why ur daughers Daddy Split" Now she Mad as Shit, picked up a bottle n Threw It At Me Man I've had some girl problems before, but Few Attacked Me "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH U? TELL ME WAT I DO EXACTLY" But she didnt even answer, she jus said "fuck YOU" n Slapped Me "U FUCKN BITCH" n pushed her away, dont care'f she'd Cry Again I got mah keys n left before my temper turned me Vio-lent I drove around, tryna cool off, relieve some Tension This stupid bitch, she went beyond the limit yo, and Then some I pulled up to mah Friend's, "Son, can i stay here for a Bit?" "Why wha happened wit ur girl?" "I dunno she fuckn Flipped.." So i crashed there n let the situation Calm Down Couldnt sleep, always wonderin whats going On Now See i couldnt play myself, cuz i know that i Need Her If Either "Leave Her" or "Beat Her" are my options then Neither So after a few days, i got Dressed and i Showered Feelin good, i was lookn sharp n Fresh in an Hour Then i left, first i went and bought a Chest full of Flowers Then I parked in front her house, took a Breath cuz its Now Or, Never, took a chance n started Walkn up the Stairs Opened up the door, it was Dark n nobody There Started creepin, through the rooms, slowly Leerin Around I got closer to her room n started Hearin some Sounds So i leaned against the door, put mah ear on the Wood All i heard was "OH YEAH...OH GOD FUCK ME GOOD" N my blood Boiled, felt my muscles startin to Tense Up My arms Coiled, both my fists jus suddenly Clenched Up IN MY ROOM?? IN MY BED?? YO I PAYED F' ALL THAT Thats when i went out back and got my Base-Ball Bat I SPENT THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS, STUCK IN A DRAG WHILE IN MY BEDROOM, BITCH IS FUCKING SOME FAG?? I went back to the door, Gripped the Gat, about to Let Off Busted through the door and Ripped the Faggots fuckn Head Off N she jumped up, screamed "WHAT THE FUCK ARE U DOING??" "YOU THINK IM GONNA SMILE WHILE U GO ON AND SCREW HIM?!?! U TOOK MY CARE FOR WEAKNESS , NOW ITS TIME FOR SOME PAY BACK U STEP ON ME THEN FUCK A GUY?? NAH I DONT PLAY THAT DONT U FUCKN MOVE, WHERE THE FUCK IS STACI??" "in her Room.." I went inside, "Go and wait in Josh's Vroom Vroom!" She smiled, went to the car, and she closed the Car Door I went back into the room and reached for the Far Drawer Got the .44, "WHO THE FUCK U THINK U ARE WHORE??? "No! I didnt--" "SHUT THE FUCK UP N JUS GET ON THE HARD FLOOR I CARED FOR U AS MUCH AS MY ENTIRE LIFE ALLOWED NOW U PISS IT ALL AWAY BECAUSE WE HAD A FIGHT AND NOW U SPREADIN UR LEGS? TO NIGGAS U JUS MET ON MY BED?!?! FORGET IT UR DEAD, CUZ IMMA POP A LED IN UR HEAD SO ON UR FUCKING KNEES SLUT, N TAKE A DEEP BREATH NOW U WANNA CHEAT BITCH? GOOD....TRY AND CHEAT DEATH (*POW*)... |
feed left on... A-sap (gay ass LL diss) |
Word, this shit is dope..
Keeps you reading for sure with it's great flow, and wicked multies intertwined in it.. Pretty kick ass story, I like the line at the end, try and cheat death (*Pow*).. Dope drop, nice read for sure.. |
uppin this please...
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Long but ill the last line was an excelent finishing touch. You should go audio sounds like you've got the skills for it.
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thanks fam.. uppinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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not gon lie i didnt read it all... but i heard tha last line was hott and ima say straight up, it was deff hottt
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madd good here man kinda hard to read cuz its kinda little but that just make me get into the piece more errrthin was good hurr rom the flow to struture and basically the the whole piece was fantastic man good job like every aspect to this and u stayed on topic good job murdz keep droppin pieces like that aight
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thankz fam uppinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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MURDZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!
whats up? man, this was pretty vivid (love that word, lol)....great story actually, awesome flow, had some funny lines in there too Now she Mad as Shit, picked up a bottle n Threw It At Me Man I've had some girl problems before, but Few Attacked Me ^nice little suttle humour in there, haha but anyways, who cares if this was long, it kept me reading the whole time, and thats a great talent right there, keep it flowing and interesting, big props there.....and the story was cool too, ending was kinda vio-lent, lol....but i like the closer, ahha...good stuff man, keep for sure check-yo-pms beach :) |
thankz yo uppinnnnnnnnnnn
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wats up homie,im only 13 and hopin not to go through that same problem when i get older.it was real good.man,it had me in tha story like it was my gurl.im a writer myself.i write stories,poems,and i rap, and everybody that reads them thinks im good ... although im only 13 i can truely say...damn boy u got talent
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lol thanks youngen lookin foward to seein ur stuff :thumbup:
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this sucked.....go die
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this good
this good brev u got some talent and how do u get your link so i can put it on one of my rhymes
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Well I Read the 1st bar And decided that the text was a lil too small so I quit
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thanks for the feedback stanza ! not!
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Don't try to take my storytellin title :cussing:
This my turf Nigga. |
Yo textcee bob......dont freepost like that u ruinin a good OM
yo and murdz i know we had our beef but this was hot man.......give props where props due......i swear if i hadnt known this was from you I would guess it was from some Eminem or crazy shit like that........mad flows and this was sick.....i read it all...long read lol but it was sick......yo man RTF...link in sig.....pzzzzz |
Intermental forget the beef man we cool now aiight like fam :thumbup: im droppin all beef...
1ndeph whats wrong? lol im not takin ur turf, freindly comp :thumbup: |
Aiite murdz we kool......RTF link in sig......peace famm
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yeah done.......
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Nice piece sweetie, you should definitely put this on audio :thumbup:
Flow's mad nice, like how the story developed and how you built it up towards the ending (which I was feeling). You went into detail which kept readers focussed despite the length of it, emotion was nice and imagery was there for sure. Like watching a movie or whatever play in front of your eyes. Good one! |
thanks DQ i wanna buy u... :(
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Quote:
Lol I was playin with you |
hahah i kno.. chill dawg.. :thumbup:
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uppin any more feed please...
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bumpppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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nice shit here it reminds me of my "BackStaber" freestyles
nice vocab mulites crazy flow real good the last line dope as hell dawg 8.5/10 please return the favor in one of my "View My Vission" open mic links in my sig |
yeah dawg i will, just doin sumthin real quick.....
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Bumpppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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damn duke diz shit is str8 up G fire all tha way thru i liked it keep writing
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