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"Milestone" Chapter One
"Milestone" Is a song from my album.This is an Audio song.
So don't look for all end rhymes.Simply flow it.It flows well. The numbers before are the years,I'm narrorating the state of the world.Like a documentary for my city Chicago.With Chapter one beggining with the present time. http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2213868 Enjoy! "Milestone" 2005 A.D. 05 summer,I am took by the season.. I was shook in belief,this I couldn't believe quick. my young cousin said daddy lookin' at me...shit. this triggered a thought sequence... of pity in guilt. I left the barbeque,but the hit it was killing me still. Its hard to chew it out.Its hard to part from broken hearts. In the car,like "fuck I could of told him I know its hard!" a heart to heart convisation,barf starts to barge. The age isn't gracious,this probably means... nothing to you. black eyes on a five you're old,tough love is abuse. crushin' the youth.softly,the whole city's in hell. I'm in a spot where I beg please send me to me jail. Cause when hardships approach parents'll pity themselves. Discardin my hope of to save this earth.But danger lurks. And the kids will raise there kids,the same way but worse. this whole generation's hurt.the pain increases at a baby's birth. what do they deserve... 2035 A.D. A million times around the clock. I veiw chicago. We're gonna visit,places the news would not show. On the sidewalk,my mistake.My shoes smeared the chalk. Of a lifeless shape. Outside the church,I spot tumblin weeds. A young cuz runs up to me,askin' me do I want some weed. I reply no,his eyes low,He said I also hold some coke its stronger so,you don't have to smoke the Dro I repeat my answer.He tripped and he dropped his box. A lot of Rocks spill now he getin stopped by Cops. And I sigh..... that's 5 to 10 years stall the tear fall.That one sense is dead. let's go a different set.maybe there is success. In the earth.... I thought but I was wrong.It was gettin' worse. Across the street,a streetball game was In... play a teen through the ball at his head,just a famous trick made. The man patients broke,He raised his voice he couldn't take a joke. He's made his choice.Loosend his sleeve and he shanked the boy. How could you do this to me?with blood drippin from his lip. Shit,this is provin to be.The truth.Bringing my spirits down. I fear,but let's go twenty years from Now.... -One Love- |
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Nice i wass Feelin It homie!enjoyed the COnept!flow wass nice when i read it out loud!but for the most part shyt was pretty good homie!keep that shyt up n soon you will be noticed!return the favor in ym link in my sig (DISSS TO TWISTE N WALL STREET)!
Uppin for ya homie! |
Aight I'm returnin it now.Hit me back if you want some other Om's peeped too.
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Nice Dawg I Agree With GHost Good Piece Man Nice Flow Vocabulary Was Cool Dawg, Structure Was Cool, Man The Fuck Happen To Diagnosis Your Other Name??/ Any Way Nice Piece Keep Em Coming
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Thanks for the feed.
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I hate you people. :(
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damn why did I even do this shit.
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i'd love to hear this recorded man. nice flow good emotion in here nice imagery the 2nd part was a lot more complex then the first though good imagery though hands down this was pretty good man i actually think you got a little bit better lyrically i still havent heard ya audios yet though.
rtf links in the sig |
i was feeling this peice. the flow was there and the vocab was there also. you showed your emotion through these words nicely and this peice seemed deep. nice peice fam. def. looking forward to peeping some of your newer peices keep me updated and drop a link or so to me on aim ill check em out.... Fav Lines- The imagery was strong here Quote:
i would really love to hear this recorded -1 |
thnaks fam appreicate it so much for real.
uppin. |
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damn man,Rapverse has went downhill.
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Discardin my hope of to save this earth.But danger lurks.
And the kids will raise there kids,the same way but worse. this whole generation's hurt.the pain increases at a baby's birth. what do they deserve... ^^^^^ I liked that.......this was really good....good topic and good flow and like u sed its audio id love to hear that drop cuzz....RTF plz.....link in sig |
ayo some dope shit...i told u rv went downhill..lol..anyway this o.m is defitnly straight dawg...the vocab was aight went together better in some parts than others...but the story tellin and emotion is defitnly strong with this shit....fo real...8.5/10....some good shit.....u musta got kicked off of AIM but it aight i have ta go ta bed anyway..tireder than a muthafucka...but anyway welcome to the crew and anyone reading this thread make sure ta pm me, Indeph, or Militant, ta join..we gon bring rv back ta how it used ta be....anyway..good shit fam keep it..love ta see the next shit u do...we should collab sometime..peace
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ayo ur sigg down????
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uppin for the fam.....anybody...ya'll know this a dope piece..just type what ya think
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feeling the second verse a hell of alot more
then the first sequence of bars, shit had me from start to end...mad dope, seriously indepth.. you kno me kiddo, i dont say its dope unless it is.. n i dont break ya balls unless its shit...1st verse to me was ass but the second was so much better in every sense of the werd.. . Daz |
my bad 2nd fuckup..^^feedback above..lol, damn pc
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lol, my bad...3rd fuckup..
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its ok some poeple were just born ta be fuck-ups....lol just kiddin..im just playin i had ta say it..it was too good
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CHAR!!! chaar :love:
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what the............
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Nice man, structure was bad as a text verse, but i read it as if i were spittin it and it did flow so fucka structure.
2nd verse was better, but i was feelin the imagery and vocab throughout, overall nice peice. |
sup fam..this was straight...first off it was a nice concept.I liked the way you set it out.really creative.Structure was good...vocab was hot which always attracts me...
loved the way you write about the present day..and then write about twenty years from now..and then ended it making us think what it will be like another 20 years from that...overall this was a dope piece...would like to collab with you..i like your style..overall 9/10 return the favour on my dark disguise OM please.Its in ma sig..pz |
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Good concept you used here. Never encountered a piece like this before, it made me think because it was so down to earth. Most lines I could see happening, imagery was cool, and so was you're emotion. Despite you're flow being off, I thought the messages connected well throughout each bar..
Overall - 78/100.. Keep dropping.. |
damn man....i aint even gone front...that shit was dope as fuck...and thats all i got to say...
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thanks yo I appreicaite it.
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uppin for Indeph...
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I think it has the potential to be a great piece.But it just fell short in certain parts.
See the flow? even though it was an audio piece, it was mad choppy inbetween bars fix that dawg, i mean i do audio to, but the flow doesn't have to be that choppy a different bar structure could help, lyrics were good, concept? i seen it before but good Overall:7/10. nice drop though..thought provoking!!! |
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