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Chronic Cancer vs Stanza
Battle Rules:
20-40 lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting 3-0 ko 4-1 ko Topic - 10:00 News Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 07-04-05 at 12:39 AM Must drop verse in 1440 minutes after check in. Win by 3-0 KO -strobe |
Stanza has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-02-05 11:14 AM.
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News Anckermen: Hello & Welcome to the Ten O' Clock News My Name is John Brickenridge There Has Been News Breaking Disturbance Off The Atlantic Ocean Bridge A Young Man Suspected of Murder A Few Weeks Ago In The City Of Bunn Has Died From Dramatically Fatal Blows To The Head By His Own .22 Gun We Have a Tape Of The Victims Last Words Before he commited this Suicide Listen carefully And Please All Children Are advise To Close There eyes ..::Tape Comes On::. Hey!! You Out There Yeah You Watching This Tape Do You Think This Is a Joke? Come On Gimme a Break Ive Been Plannin This Revenge for a While Every Since I Found Out And Ive been wanting to Kill Them Both and thats without a Doubt See it all Started when I Caught My Wife in The bed with my Brother And Right Then Thoughts Ran Through My Head Unlike No Other So I Thought Then I decided To Plan My Different Ways Of Revenge What Happens To The Bodies you Ask? Oh There Down In The Pins Yes I killed them Both and They Deserved every Bit of their Death Of Course My Assistant In This Murder was My Best Friend Meth Drugged up And ready Go I Went Down To Her House Where They Rested Laughin All The way With Hate In My Mind & My Thoughts Insanily Infested I Opened up The Door and continued My Mission Of Revengful Hate Never Had a Second Thought Of Killin Them Both...Avengeful Debates? Shot 1 in The head, 1 in The eye Im Feelin it W/ My Finger On The Trigger Yellin Out "you white Trash" And "You goddamn Dumb ass Nigger" Hopped in My Car & Squelled Down The Road To The Bridge where we met Pulled Out The Same Gun that Caused The first Duel Of Death ........ *Tape Stops* News Ancker This Young Man Killed Hisself Afetr This Tape was Made But In His Pocket There was A Small Knife Sort of A Blade Noone knows what It means But Im Sure It has a Meaning Bcuz When Discovered The Young Mans wrist was Bleeding The Cause of Death? Autopsies Havent Confirmed Anything New But Always Beware...Becuase This could Become You.... On The Ten O Clock News |
Chronic Cancer has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-02-05 04:28 PM.
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The Journalist
This is The Journalist, I'm reporting live from the scene Blood and guts everywhere, but police can't find the splene The girl's figure's lean, her open eyes are a pretty green I rewind it all in my mind and see what the machette's seen The victim's name is Charolette Jones, and from what I hear I explain the situation and return her locket to her father They ignored my words and see the body; I watched as it set in Her mother cried on her knees and father demanded an arresting I watched helplessly as police tried to control her parents Gathered my clues and it was apparent the murderer was careless The Murderer I'm running fast, thinking why the fuck did I leave my gun My leg's hurt, they're sore and tore from runnin in the brush Charolette was my beautiful medium, I carefully stroke I vividly etched my design before her thin artery broke My painting was a disaster, I muffled my cries with laughter I kissed her drenched lips and hastily left soon there after I stared into her penetrating eyes and flowed flattery Then kissed her silhouette and departed from my masterpiece The Detective My senses are clean and clear, the murderer is still quite near I put my ear to Charolette's chest in hopes that I might hear.. She died without fighting, her lips curved and were pressed I regarded her as a divine being although she was slutty in dress Her cleavage was full and I noticed there was a name in the crease My heart pounded with vengeance as I swiftly followed his lead I found his hide out and watched the murderer from a safe distance He genuinely moved covering his tracks until he had finished I broke the window and I watched him grab for his gun and cock it I aim and shot and watched as I blew his brains out from the closet The Journalist The detective remains missing and some applaud him for his work They say an eye's an eye and under God justice was fully served The funeral services followed what was a rather useless autopsy And she was laid to rest forever crowned as the casket-box queen Reported news that the murderer was gone was publically soothing Gossip stated the Detective as an infamous hero, a local Jack Ruby The Detective solved the crime and considered his job as completed He turned in the murderer into authorities in seventy severed pieces The Detective went mad over Charolette and his conscience set in His heart was broken and his articulate incision remained left in A story filled with death and remorse, no characters surivived And this is your daily Journalist, signing off, bidding good night |
This was feedback posted for Chronic Cancer
Nice fam,
both good. polls.............................. |
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This was feedback posted for Stanza
DOPENESS Stanza, nice drop.,...imagery was kick ass!!!
good drop too Cancer, not bad at all...nice battle Now lets get the voters rollin Uppin for my boy.. |
This was feedback posted for Stanza
Checkin tha polls....nice drop Stanza...real creative
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This was feedback posted for Stanza
nicccccccccceeeeeeeee battle dawgs
just checkin the polls |
Thanx Yall LOL I Hope I Win ...................Hope?,...............I Am Gonna win LOL
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Voted For: Stanza
overall these were good, i felt that chronic, you were basically telling news, not as much of a story, whereas stanza's verses were felt more as a story......the last verse after *tape stops*...was deep as hell, and thats why i had to go with stanza the structure was good with both and they both flowed well i just had to go with stanza becuz i felt his deeper |
This was feedback posted for Chronic Cancer
werddddd nice battle dawggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
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Up................................................
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YEah we still Uppin ..............................................
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Voted For: Stanza
Chronic Your Shits Was To Basic Dawg No Hate, You Came Cool But Not That Good Your Verse Needed Better Wording, Your Vocabulary Was Weak Man Nothing Really Specuial You Should Elevate, Okay Shits Stanza Nice Shti Man You Had Some Nioce Shit Man, Vocabulary Advances, Structure Was Both Good, Your Emotion Was Nice, Imagery Was Good, Over All You Had A Better Verse Man One Vote No Hate Stanza |
Thanx wall Man....................Still uppin Lets get this last third vote so I can Get this closed
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Voted For: Stanza
Cancer-some of these things didnt make sence.......if they couldent find her spleen how did they know she was lean? but W/E this battle is very one sided and it wouldent surprise me if you get KO'd on this one......BBBUUUUUTTT better than i could do Props nun the less... . . Stanza-some of the rhymes in this made me cringe.....but the imagery was REAL GREAT and that was bacially the only thing that let you win this.....but it was still one sided....so V/Stanza |
^The comment u left for me made no sense.....Ne way...
WOW....this is one sided n dick ride but what ever...... Uppin Votes..get this over with |
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