The Revelation vs Pablo Escobar
 

Battle Rules:

30 Lines Max
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting
No Bullshit

No vote shop RTF's
Preferably topical heads voting who know what they should be voting for.

Topic: Blissful Ignorance

Minimum posts to vote: 100

Check in by: 07-07-05 at 01:30 PM

Must drop verse in 2880 minutes after check in.

The Revelation has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-06-05 08:35 PM.

Nostradamus has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-06-05 11:16 PM.

Mhmm, your stuff wasnt bad, could of benefitted from better flow and use of multi syllable rhyming and a few bars could of been worded better. But I'm impressed by your concept. And thats usually where a lot of people dont get it right.

Not a bad battle dude.. Now its jus the long ass wait for votes. -_-

..................................................

Uppin.

Voted For: Pablo Escobar

ok rev dope concept and imagery on appraoching the topic nicely done your flow was horrible though and this aint rhyme at all
Rape, muder, money, when did these things become important?
I guess when getting juice was as important as smoking a blunt.
The end was just a book title but now it what I must right to a girlfriend,
Well I guess it's time to say goodbye, and to you I wish the best my friend
that hurt you badly in this here watch you syllabell count ive noticed alot of people dont in a topical work on that.but other then that your painting of a childhood to adult picture was nicely done as well as the underlaying intention of the poem also.7/10
pablo or whatever the fuck your name is this week good good flow helped you on this cuz it blended welly and that helped you win here imagery is good not as good as revs but not far off yet yours flowed toghther better and therefore was a more enjoyable topical to me.you approached the topic also welly here .this should be close if rev flow wasnt so badly done and his shit rhymed in the last 2 bars he couldve won this votes should be close.7.5/10

Voted For: Pablo Escobar

The Revelation Verse

Dear Blissful,

Though times were fun when I wasn't sure what was going on,
Time has come for me to mature because I am growning old to some.
The days when grass was green, sky was blue, and snow was whitening,
When people were perfect and there were no troubles or people fighting.
Where mommy and daddy were super heros and could never be wrong,
When people kissing was gross and "Wheels On the Bus" was my favorite song.
I know that you are used to this, because it happens to everyone,
And maybe someday we can hang out again when it is all said and done.
My speech is improving and inproper grammar is no longer cute,
My computer isn't just for games and a grape isn't just a fruit.
I can not believe in Santa, Easter Bunny, because I know the truth,
They are all fake, and the money I get is not from a fairy who wants my tooth.
The boogie man isn't scary and the monster under my bed is dead,
Instead of being complimented, I am being teased for being a red head.
People smoke, and drink, and have sex whenever they think it is best,
Everyday I learn new words like fetish, masturbator, and incest.
Leadership qualities I never knew existed seem to show with a problem,
Because like someoone said, If problems arise there is always a way to solve em.
Fore a problem is created by man so in essance there is a way to fix it,
If only life was like it once was with no stress and it was simplistic.
Jewelry was shiny and nothing but something fun to play with,
Girls were just people it was fun to spend one day with.
Laws and rules were just don't be mean but treat them nice that day,
Now I have to worry about what I say because I can be thrown in jail today.
Rape, muder, money, when did these things become important?
I guess when getting juice was as important as smoking a blunt.
The end was just a book title but now it what I must right to a girlfriend,
Well I guess it's time to say goodbye, and to you I wish the best my friend.

Sincerly,
Ignorance

Overall
Nice verse was feelin it had some nice rhyming i liked the topic but i think the approach coulda been handled differently IMO but it was on point throughout some ok multies flowed well structure ok should of centred though wasn't mostly ignorance you put out it was mostly facts coz yea boogie man ain't real neither is tooth fairy but ignorance is more thinking your always right when even you are wrong by fact...it was a good verse though would of liked to hear this over a beat wit vocals.

Nostradamus Verse

Shit.
Blissful ignorance is a luxury for the weak minded.
Close ya eyes, throw on some headphones and try to find it.
As for me..

Well..

I'd brutally sever the spine of that crazy lady luck.
Shes like a slut getting assfucked & you aint even need a buck.
..Because I'm busting for something & I dont know what to call it.
It aint world peace-----cause world peace, hes an alcaholic.
Often talking on that old shit, the futures real, inherit it.
Never be scared of it, cause winners be prepared for anything.
The world is a harsh place, I dont needa tell you.
You seen it every day, on the news, its in your face.
From hells view, were open wide enough for them to get through.
But give an inch, they take a mile remember that dude.
......& all I seen, on my tv screen, is catastrophe.
Whats worse is I understand the fear thats cashing in.
With every media station clinging onto the slightlest incling.
Blurring fact from fiction, till truths hacked & blistered.
& labled insignifigant with a journelist certificate.
Hear me? Plus people dont give half a shit anymore.
Kids having babies, going crazy left in tears on the floor.
Maybe our minds gone from losing that feel of innocents.
Maybe our spines torn, from gluing your face to time bombs.
Like cancer, ignorance is not the answer its an anthlem.
Imagine, what would happen, if every man took action.
In a passionate fashion, opposed of procrastination.
Instead these problems exist in every free world nation.
Kids dont learn skill, with their head stuck to playstations.
Aswell were in a world where the povertys real.
& every man & his dog wants to hip-- hop on a deal.
I feel I grew up too fast -- starin through my rearview.
Remember time come to pass, when I used to hardly care dude.
I'm careful, how I speak signifigant, indescriminate.
Sometimes I'm sick of lacking innocents, wishing for blissful ignorance.


Is a wise mind a blessing or a curse.
Thats the rhetorical question thats pressed in this verse.

Overall

From hells view, were open wide enough for them to get through.
But give an inch, they take a mile remember that dude.

Instead these problems exist in every free world nation.
Kids dont learn skill, with their head stuck to playstations.

I'm careful, how I speak signifigant, indescriminate.
Sometimes I'm sick of lacking innocents, wishing for blissful ignorance.

^ 3 bars that made me go wow...this was some nice stuff Nos held it on point i think your approach was a lot stronger than Rev's also rhyming was a lot better 1st bar i quoted was perhaps the best bar in your verse because it jus screamed ignorant at me...this was a decent topical battle...props to both...the way you described world events Nos and other factors really won it for you in my opinion because it's describing real things that happen in real life...your verse Nos had a lot more complexity to it and also strengthened the topic which was a deciding factor in my vote decision...

V/Nostradamus...

Uppin.

This was feedback posted for Pablo Escobar
 

Boooooooooooring .........LoL....

checkin polls.

So anyway.
Uppin..

www.soundclick.com/nostradam <Needless pimp for my new battle on a diff site.

vote - pablo dope verses by both hella gud but i think sum of pabs lines took this just tho it woz a very close battle but liked both verses jus shows wot happens wen ya put 2 vets against each other pab took it by a thread dope verses

vote-pablo!

This was feedback posted for Pablo Escobar
 

polls..............................


I cant really vote topical wise.

Uppin.

Ignorance: The condition of being uneducated, unaware, or uninformed.

Just thought I should post that in case Mad Dog checks this.

I think we both used the topic in the right context.

Yours was about growing up and things you learnt.

Mine was posing the question of would it be better to live in blissful ignorance to the worlds problems and be happy, rather than be stressed about where the worlds heading.

Voted For: Pablo Escobar

Nice battle right here, I love the topic and you both worked it out in a very nice way actually.

Nostradamus: I love your approach of the topic, you managed to express something quite deep and insightful throughout understandable words. The flow was good, had multis in there, similar sound expressions and such. Vocabulary was kept rather simple but that made the message you were trying to show more powerful and direct in my opinion. Emotion was strongest aspect I think, you went nicely into detail, portraying different views on several situations and everything was easy to understand and follow. It was not so much of an imagery piece yet you used some pictures to go with the emotion you expressed. I'm feeling the lil intro and outro things because they just sum everything up and make the readers think about shit you know. Some of my favo lines were the following:

..Because I'm busting for something & I dont know what to call it.
It aint world peace-----cause world peace, hes an alcaholic.
Often talking on that old shit, the futures real, inherit it.
Never be scared of it, cause winners be prepared for anything.

Great piece...

The Revelation: I'm digging your topic use as well, find it quite nice how you expressed it as if it was just a letter written to an old friend. The flow was okay but that's an area you can still improve on, adding more multis, internal rhyming, maybe try some assonances or alliterations to make the overall sound expression more fluent. You combined a sort of pure, serene emotion (as of a child in fact) with clear images so I cannot really say which is the best aspect, imagery and emotion are so closely connected that it's hard to tell. The vocabulary is quite simple but unline in Nostradamus' piece, here it gave more an innocent vibe instead of a powerful and direct one. Big vocab would have probably ruined the piece because I'm feeling the innocent approach you used here. Thing I'm kinda missing is that you approach it in a personal way but do not pose too many questions so you don't make the reader stand still and think which is what Nostradamus did do. Some of my favo lines were the following:

Leadership qualities I never knew existed seem to show with a problem,
Because like someoone said, If problems arise there is always a way to solve em.
Fore a problem is created by man so in essance there is a way to fix it,
If only life was like it once was with no stress and it was simplistic.

Solid piece...


In the end, my vote goes to Nostradamus even though it was a very close battle. He just made the readers stand still and think about their own life or relate to own experiences and such where as The Revelation used a more personal approach.

Voted For: Pablo Escobar

ok......watta fuckin good battle.... shit.... this was real tough though....i wanted to vote for Revelation... but the lines which caught me straight up from you NAs was a passionate fashion, opposed of procrastination.
Instead these problems exist in every free world nation.
Kids dont learn skill, with their head stuck to playstations.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
dats nuttin but the truth.... .... your lines made sense to reader.... so did revelations but.. yours wuz ..well could just connect wit it more.
altough i never got the hip-hop deal.. in the sense... not all people want on hip-hop deals.. sure every man wants to be rich but the well off and well educated who are already rich dnt think like that ... only the i guess dreamers or the less forunate , or those who wish to be somwhere .. like us....

Aswell were in a world where the povertys real.
& every man & his dog wants to hip-- hop on a deal.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ but a very touchin line aiight... dope line.... overall vote goes to NOs

as for RevelationWhere mommy and daddy were super heros and could never be wrong,
When people kissing was gross and "Wheels On the Bus" was my favorite song.
I know that you are used to this, because it happens to everyone,
And maybe someday we can hang out again when it is all said and done.
My speech is improving and inproper grammar is no longer cute,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
fuck... you a genius in the makin mate.... dope..... that line wuz realistic ..and very true... Our world is fukin changin

The boogie man isn't scary and the monster under my bed is dead,
Instead of being complimented, I am being teased for being a red head.
People smoke, and drink, and have sex whenever they think it is best,
Everyday I learn new words like fetish, masturbator, and incest.
Leadership qualities I never knew existed seem to show with a problem,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^66666
brilliant body for your verse......

but NOs got this for overall flow.... and construction... had better vocab and made an easy connection with it......

Return the favour on my battles... .and dnt think this is one of them "RTF" votes/// aiight

uppin 4 BOTH Y'ALLLLL .....checkkkkin pollllzzzzzzzzzzzzz