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-   -   Rap Vs Love (Chapter-One) (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=198661)

Formation 07-07-05 04:14 PM

Rap Vs Love (Chapter-One)
 

My First Child In Life, And I'm Switching My Paste
Momma Tripping And My Bro Bitching In My Face
Eighteen Years Old......And I'm Choosing My Prime
I Don't Try My Best So Am I Really Losing My Mind
And I'm A Daddy So It's Kind Of Hard Raising A Kid
Damn I Keep Getting Drunk And Still Blazing Up Shit
I'm Out Of Choices, And I'm Running Low On Options
I Love Her, But I Feel Like Running Her For Adoption
I Got A Heart Feeling.. That I'll Be A Bum On The Ride
Girl Is My Life, Even Though...I Got One On The Side
And Counseling Won't Work Cause I'm Hurting Inside
Got This Feeling In My Gut And It's Merking My Pride
All I Know Is I Got To Make It.. For My Family's Sake
And I Won't Stop Rapping Till They Handing Me Cake
I Know I've Got Talent.. But My Girl Won't Support It
Trying To Giving Her Everything But I Can't Afford It
I'm Passing Opportunities Like Crazy And I Can't See
And I Know If I Make A Mistake I'll Be Out Camping
Cause My Girl Got A Problem With Me And My Music
And I Won't Yell At Her But Please Don't Confuse It
Up Late Writing, When She Asks, I'm Mixing My Lies
My Excuse Twisting The Truth I'm Still Fixing My Ties
If Rap Was Raising A Kid, It Won't Be Worth My While
So It's Time For Me To Start Working With My Child


Link Number One
Link Number Two

Sik Wit It 07-07-05 04:28 PM

damn this emotion... shit was nice mayn... vocab was good...
...structure was aight, the flow was nice, but overall this shit
was nice yo... & like what The Messenger said up there...
...going thru hard times and shit, but hang in there yo, &
keep that damn kid! nah mean? stay up...


8.9/10

Formation 07-07-05 04:34 PM


Thanks Both Of You I Appreciate That

Castro... 07-07-05 04:48 PM

I enjoyed listen it was crazy for real but ya vocab sucks lol cake dude you need to work on yo vocab for real lol, stcuture perfect like always, flow as well... imargery was good nice overall for real....lol @ (Chapter One)....

ANGEL ALVEREZ.. 07-07-05 04:55 PM

this was hot..the purple font made it hard to see tho..lol..
emotion an vocab was outstanding...
very hot piece..

I'm Out Of Choices, And I'm Running Low On Options
I Love Her, But I Feel Like Running Her For Adoption
I Got A Heart Feeling.. That I'll Be A Bum On The Ride
Girl Is My Life, Even Though...I Got One On The Side


i liked that

Formation 07-07-05 04:59 PM

Thank You Thank You Your Far To Kind

Formation 07-07-05 06:28 PM

....................................

Kawn Flixx 07-07-05 08:46 PM

This was a pretty tight drop..nice job animosity...you had okay vocab could have been alot better...Emotions and feeling was on point... you really created a good image in the readers head...Keep it up...structure was good it made your drop easy to read... Overall keep it up just elevate on your vocab and wordplay..

Formation 07-08-05 12:23 AM

Thanks Man Weeerdness, But It's Hard To Put Things In Dfferent Words When It's True

Dervla 07-08-05 07:47 AM

Hmmmmmmm I like the approach you brought to the table, upfront and quick. I like the imagery you put down, painted a picture. You expressed your feelings here (Emotion) Which was nice. Upp on the vocab, and the flow was good. I like this piece. Keep it up.

Christianite 07-08-05 11:31 AM

yeah this was a good drop, imagery and emotion were the most that stood out, vocab was ok, keep it up man and hang in there

UNF 07-08-05 07:02 PM

Thanks Both.................

Formation 07-08-05 07:34 PM

Bumping This Biatch Dude

Black Queen 07-08-05 07:53 PM

this was a good drop had nice emotion and people can relate to this nice imargery vocab was ok yo structure was hella nice keep droppin

Formation 07-08-05 07:57 PM

Thanks, If You Like This One you Should Read Chapter Two Ft Troop In My Sig

Static 07-08-05 10:02 PM

Dope drop
emotional shit
structure was nice
vocab was iight
flow was good

keep it up mayne

Formation 07-08-05 10:03 PM

Good Looking Dawg

Formation 07-09-05 01:49 AM

...........................................

Formation 07-09-05 02:55 AM

Fuck Man Bumping

Lyriclesolja 07-09-05 03:03 AM

i liked this peace ALOT cause you didnt fabricate it its the truth it is what ur goin through and its not sugar coated......all the Multies. Metas. Vocab. and all that DONT matter in a peace like this....this is truly an Open Mic when u speak ur mind.........9/10 great drop

Formation 07-09-05 03:16 AM

Thanks Man I Appreciate It

Formation 07-09-05 04:16 PM

.........................................

Indeph 07-09-05 05:23 PM

You cannot up unless a link is dropped in which you left proper feed on.If you're confused veiw the new rules.

Formation 07-09-05 07:28 PM

Nigga I Put Feed On That Shit Dude

Indeph 07-09-05 08:30 PM

No read the rules if you're confused.

Textcee Bob 07-09-05 10:13 PM

This was nice at points, but at others it had me a little undecided. It was more of a like......audio style, the way you formatted and spoke the words through an OM. I would suggest making it a little longer, add some creativity and in-depth storylines......Rap vs Love was a good topic to write about, and i think u wrote on it nicely. Just keep dropping, youll improve, check out Love is Blind please.

Pz

Formation 07-09-05 11:40 PM

HaHa LMAO! Okay

Textcee Bob 07-09-05 11:42 PM

WHat was that for may i ask ?


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