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-   -   Stanza vs Nostradamus (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=199512)

Stanza 07-11-05 11:42 PM

Stanza vs Nostradamus
 
Battle Rules:

20-40 lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting
No d/r votes
No Hate Votes
3-0 Ko
4-1 Ko

Topical Battle

Topic:
Beyond The Known


Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 07-14-05 at 11:42 PM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

La Cosa Nostra 07-11-05 11:51 PM

Yo dont do 40 lines thats overkill big time. Lets just keep our shit below 30 lines so people will actually read it.

Stanza 07-11-05 11:52 PM

I will

I Jus did that bcuz i thought you was one of them lond ass writers lol

System 07-12-05 10:47 AM

Stanza has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-12-05 10:47 AM.

Stanza 07-12-05 10:47 AM

have you already checked in man /?................

Stanza 07-12-05 11:39 AM

Beyond The Known

Beyond My Wildest Dreams & Beyond My Craziest Thoughts
Past The Conclusion in My Mind That Maybe I Should Walk
Into This Place That Is Roughly, Rugged And Beyond Repair
The Place Where The Thoughts Never Really Go to Share

What They've Heard So Far From The Other Average Minds
Looking For The More Original Thought Thats One of a Kind
I've Never Had to Think about My Different Thoughts Before
Especailly Since I Kicked My Self-Conscience out The Door

I Thought That I Could Keep Them All Locked in My Head
But The Caged Thoughts Locked in my Head Sincerly Said
" I want To Be Free'd From Your Mind Let Me Loose to go Free"
Then I Replied "Only One Thought Is Keeping You from Your Flee"

Thats The Thoughts Of Murder, Envying, Drunkeness, And Emulations
Saving Up My thoughts In Sections Like I Hade a Church Congregation
So my Thoughts That are Beyond The known Want to be Free'd
They Have to Get rid Of those Blocking The Way Such as Greed

But These Thoughts are Able to Be Set free at Any Given Time
Charity, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, and Faith Can Always Shine
In my Mind but Also out my Mind Where The Real Thoughts Roam
So I Set You All Free As of Now To ..............Beyond The Known

GoodLuck Famz! :thumbup:

System 07-12-05 11:55 AM

Nostradamus has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-12-05 11:55 AM.

La Cosa Nostra 07-12-05 11:59 AM

Beyond The Known

Theres a lot of things beyond whats known.
Fuck conspiracy theorys.
Check it.

Yo,


I step back.
Move you like telepathic paralax.
Mind tricks, like metal to magnets.
Surgically implanted by battle axe.
Hacking cats in the vatican, burning facts & damaging.
In-tangeble manuscripts, accurate plans thats immaculate.
Lost in a ditch effort to save humanity. by some fagget activist.
..But back to the land thats hopeless, knee deep in the dead.
...Lacking hokus pokus, were suposidly free but depend.
On people being eager to spend, half their wage in taxes.
Going to polititions in power mainly their raving actors.
With ample distractions, over-paid & close to tyrants.
Were the survivors, follow politics, but dont even like it.
Its like an irus, nailed shut but seeing through its eyelids.
Denied the right to whats rightfully ours, but we sit in silence.
Devine recitations of writings, translate to the minds of men.
Glorifying ideals, unlike truth, just important to them.
Mistaking chains & bars harshly grazed with razor scars.
Forgotton, changed re-named or flame mangled & charred.
Its breaking my heart, like a seizure weed in indonesia.
Belief & reason, but I understand why people beefing.
Intregiuing even..............To the naked eye it seems.
Beneath the edin, is a terrable sly mind of schemes.
Supplied biased dreams, through extacy, coke & weed.
Derrived forms of speed, with full force we breathe.
Report, repeat, but peace to homeless peep on the street.
The only outlaws left, in this system eager to speak.
I think--
We gotta sort the live problems before we theorise.
Leaving arcane tampering in the grave, or on the inside.
Weve been tried, humans cocky with their songs on the throne.
Just figure reality, before you go .....beyond the known.

Theres a lot of things we aint sposed to understand.
Especially since ignorance is part of the larger plan.

La Cosa Nostra 07-12-05 12:44 PM

Uppin.

Madik 07-12-05 02:01 PM

Voted For: Stanza

The flow in Stanza's bar was good and the description was deeper than that off Nostradamus. Although his rhymes were amazing, they overlapped on Nostrdamus' lyrics wich seemed out of place at some points throughout his verse.

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. -Turban.

Stanza 07-12-05 02:03 PM

Oh Damn The Votings gonna go quick Aint It ...........already got one vote LOL

im up 1-0

Stanza 07-12-05 05:30 PM

Uppin.................................Uppin....... ..............

Texxus 07-12-05 06:27 PM

This was feedback posted for Stanza
 
checkin polls....rep that RAW woot woot

K-Trin 07-12-05 07:32 PM

This was feedback posted for Stanza
 
booooooooooooring................................. ...

Formation 07-13-05 01:52 AM

Voted For: Stanza


Stanza
Aiight Man You Came Pretty Good On This On Here Bruh, Best I've Seen Out Of You, The Imagery Was Good Here Story Line Ehh, Vocabulary Okay I Felt You Could Of Use A Little Bit Of A Better Things Being You Went From Using

What They've Heard So Far From The Other Average Minds
Looking For The More Original Thought Thats One of a Kind

THen Later At The End Of The Verse
Used
But These Thoughts are Able to Be Set free at Any Given Time
Charity, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, and Faith Can Always Shine

Over All I Think You Had Better Imagery Better Vocabulary, The Structure Was Decent Here But Don't Seperate Shit We Know When Bars Are Up, Over All Good Imagery Man...8.5/10

Nos

Ahh Man What Happen??? I've Seen Better From You Man, Your Vocabulary Was Very Basic On THis One, Not To Mention The Structure, The First Few Lines

I step back.
Move you like telepathic paralax.
Mind tricks, like metal to magnets.
Surgically implanted by battle axe.

^Not To Well Man I Felt You've Could Of Had Better Imagery In Your Verse, You Also Had Bad Structure At Parts Which Led You Downhill On This Battle, The Best line You Had Was Your Closer Man, Looks Like You Didn't Put To Much Effort Cause I've Seen Way Better Verses From You Man ..8/10

Vote:Stanza
Cause He Had Better Imagery In His Verse, He Also Had Better Structure And Vocabulary, And The Way He Expressed It Was Much More Deep Then Nos's Part Over All No Hate Nos I've Seen Better

La Cosa Nostra 07-13-05 01:58 AM

Oh for fuck sake, I didnt lose this battle.

First vote is getting removed. Second vote all I can say is wtf, if you dont understand the concepts I'm bringing forward dont make yourself look stupid by saying I was going on about nothing.

What stanza dropped was ass. I'm sorry stanza but thats just truth. And I aint gonna lose to something like that.

Key... 07-13-05 02:14 AM

Voted For: Nostradamus

S-

Thats The Thoughts Of Murder, Envying, Drunkeness, And Emulations
Saving Up My thoughts In Sections Like I Hade a Church Congregation
So my Thoughts That are Beyond The known Want to be Free'd
They Have to Get rid Of those Blocking The Way Such as Greed


^^this wut stood out from ya piece...am feelin that part, imagery is there and aswell emotions well done just work on transitions and also...emotions were lacking if i have to say overall piece.


N-

On people being eager to spend, half their wage in taxes.
Going to polititions in power mainly their raving actors.
With ample distractions, over-paid & close to tyrants.
Were the survivors, follow politics, but dont even like it.

^^wow u expressing yourself deeply on this one, emotions

Its like an irus, nailed shut but seeing through its eyelids.
Denied the right to whats rightfully ours, but we sit in silence.
Devine recitations of writings, translate to the minds of men.
Glorifying ideals, unlike truth, just important to them.


^^complexity is there, imagery is there..and emotions..


I reviewed both sides and read it twice, but ama have to go wit the person who had overall verse

V/nos

(X)eed 07-13-05 04:15 AM

Voted For: Nostradamus

vote has to go to NOs......... as your other battles... ur fukin shit connects wit readers ........... mate...good stuff...

Hacking cats in the vatican, burning facts & damaging.
In-tangeble manuscripts, accurate plans thats immaculate.
Lost in a ditch effort to save humanity. by some fagget activist
^^^^^^^^^^^^ those lines got me.....
good shit..... Stanza.. you reall dope... just felt it more frm Nos ..here.... .

vote goes to noz cuzza overall flow better vocab... .. had meanin to hus shit....

thres heaps of shit to beyond the known... like fukin aliens haahah
holla... return the favour against me and 4fil.... but he droppin only later on 2night... good stuff Nos

Implicit 07-13-05 04:20 AM

This was feedback posted for Nostradamus
 
..................nice drop mayn...........................

Dervla 07-13-05 08:49 AM

Voted For: Nostradamus

Stanza- Uh, Ok I wasn't feeling your verse to be honest. You had good imagery, with a balance of vocab. The emotion could be upp a bit. Sometimes use wordplays to expand the emotion or imagery, or even both. Your approach I wasn't feeling, I see what your trying to say, but it wasn't clear...Good drop though, had a poetic Vibe to it.

Nos- Alright. I liked the approach you took and it was clear what your trying to say. The best aspect in your verse was the imagery. There was a little emotion, but still upp on that. I liked the vocab you used. Aren't really much for me to say, the imagery was decent.


Overall=Nice piece from both. In this battle I couldnt seek a big amount of emotion in you 2. So I'll vote on imagery and the piece that's clear more what it's saying. I'mma have to vote for Nos. Stanza Nice verse but your imagery wasn't good, it was just average keep it up and elevate. Nos Congrats, you had a nice versre with decent imagery i can actual see what your trying to say.

Uh yeah...Return a favor by putting down a honest vote in my battle with drakel.

Mad Dog 07-13-05 08:58 AM

Voted For: Nostradamus

Stanza

Nice verse ok structure flow was good nice and easy to read however the paragraph breaking down was ok but in topicals i'd only do that to be honest if you were going to chapter it because that can enhance topic which you didn't do...topic was on point enough though...basic rhyming not many multies...one or 2 weak ones maybe but an ok topical verse on the whole i just think you need a lil more work on them...but it was good jus my advice...work on the structure if you use chapters if you are going to break verses down they look better...also work on rhyming...it's perhaps 1/3 of the verse...use it to your advantage some ok metas though and lines in particular were

Into This Place That Is Roughly, Rugged And Beyond Repair
The Place Where The Thoughts Never Really Go to Share


Thats The Thoughts Of Murder, Envying, Drunkeness, And Emulations
Saving Up My thoughts In Sections Like I Hade a Church Congregation


^ were good

Nostradamus

Structure in the beginning a lil short but ok...got into rhythm after 1st 2 bars nicely kept on topic some slant rhyming and also multies...indonesia bar :thumbup: your flow & structure are on the same level but the level of topic you bought and the angle you approached was a lot stronger and rhyming was nicely done...some cool metas fav bars are...

In-tangeble manuscripts, accurate plans thats immaculate.
Lost in a ditch effort to save humanity. by some fagget activist.

Its breaking my heart, like a seizure weed in indonesia.
Belief & reason, but I understand why people beefing.


Basically all in all Nos won this...ok battle though...keep at it you both

V/Nos...RTF in my Doomsday battle when open (Drops due on Sunday) :thumbup:

La Cosa Nostra 07-13-05 09:14 AM

Tweety, I'll rtf later tonight or tomorrow. But I will do it. Just busy atm, thanks for the vote tho.

Acuity 07-13-05 09:32 AM

Voted For: Nostradamus

Damn...........this battle was deeep fam...

Stanza,I liked the way you approached the topic, but well quite simply i read NOs' first....stanza your structure was concise but was still stretched to me, Also i felt some of your concepts didnt work or dlow like the first 2 linez in 4th verse ending in congregation, i felt the message there was just confused and it didnt flow nicely....stanza your vocab was cool, but ma nnigga u had Nos talking bout "telepathic paralax" come on nowdats on sum canibus type level...i always look for outsstanding lines in pieces your line was:

"Looking For The More Original Thought Thats One of a Kind "

but this was not as thought out and allegorical as nos':

Its like an irus, nailed shut but seeing through its eyelids.


dope battle fams....but i gotta go wid nostra,,,,Peace


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