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Pair-A-Docks vs nonchalant
Battle Rules:
10 Lines Due 30 min. after check in Blind spit No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting ..checkin' in Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 07-17-05 at 12:24 AM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
nonchalant has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-14-05 12:25 AM.
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Pair-A-Docks has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-14-05 12:25 AM.
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Kid....how do you think you gonna win writing bad rap and stuff like that...
You look FOOLISH....got Em saying, "I ain't never seen an ASS like that"... Kid you're all clammed up...you need to at least try to get out ya shell... I would say that you might win...but kid there I really doubt you will... You think that you can rap kid.....well guess what...I don't believe you... Cause honestly...your lines are as stupid...as a line for a movie preview... You can't free-style....cept maybe wit ya clothes from the Goodwill... Dogg your punches couldn't hit me.....even if I just stood still... Don't try to throw blows my way kid.....cause ya disses I can't feel... How ya think you'll win.......when you can't elevate past an ant hill! |
Check it..i will pulverize this kid..turn his flesh into ashes
He's..runnin' out of 'shine' like a 'light bulb' that 'flashes' When he's playin 'basketball'..that's the only time he's 'runnin for the block'(reppin) It's obvious he likes thing in 'twos'..so let's give pair-a-docks a pair-of-cocks It's 'funny' how he's confident battlin' me..he's a fuckin' 'joke' Only time he fuckin' looks 'big' is if he put on two fluffy 'coats' I'm new to RV..but the new kid will still eat ya Only way he's 'toppin' me if he was 'pepperoni' and i was the 'pizza' To beat me is impossible...like bein' a <b>P</b>ussy-<b>A</b>nd<b>D</b>ick(pair-a-docks) Put this dude on a 'strawberry'..cuz i 'creamed' him and gave his ass a 'whip' (whip cream) |
ya whole verse was nice, but most self glory...good job though....uppin votes
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Voted For: nonchalant
Kid....how do you think you gonna win writing bad rap and stuff like that... You look FOOLISH....got Em saying, "I ain't never seen an ASS like that".. lame..... Kid you're all clammed up...you need to at least try to get out ya shell... I would say that you might win...but kid there I really doubt you will... didn't really rhyme but first line was nice You think that you can rap kid.....well guess what...I don't believe you... Cause honestly...your lines are as stupid...as a line for a movie preview... um...ok i guess You can't free-style....cept maybe wit ya clothes from the Goodwill... Dogg your punches couldn't hit me.....even if I just stood still... ok Don't try to throw blows my way kid.....cause ya disses I can't feel... How ya think you'll win.......when you can't elevate past an ant hill! ok finisher breakdown-verse wasn't really all that hittin...punches seem like they were thrown by a drunk dude how badly they missed...but it was ok for a newbie Check it..i will pulverize this kid..turn his flesh into ashes He's..runnin' out of 'shine' like a 'light bulb' that 'flashes' nice When he's playin 'basketball'..that's the only time he's 'runnin for the block'(reppin) It's obvious he likes thing in 'twos'..so let's give pair-a-docks a pair-of-cocks ehhhh.haha It's 'funny' how he's confident battlin' me..he's a fuckin' 'joke' Only time he fuckin' looks 'big' is if he put on two fluffy 'coats' ok...could have been harder I'm new to RV..but the new kid will still eat ya Only way he's 'toppin' me if he was 'pepperoni' and i was the 'pizza' haha...ok To beat me is impossible...like bein' a Pussy-AndDick(pair-a-docks) Put this dude on a 'strawberry'..cuz i 'creamed' him and gave his ass a 'whip' Breakdown-nice verse...you got some real potential....nice punches nice play on his name too....could have used a lil more complexity to spice it up but your verse overal was pretty goood |
uppin' for votes...
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Voted For: Pair-A-Docks
good verse...flow,wordplay an rhyme scheme keep it up |
uppin' for votes...
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Voted For: nonchalant
Pair-A-Docks [u] Kid....how do you think you gonna win writing bad rap and stuff like that... You look FOOLISH....got Em saying, "I ain't never seen an ASS like that"... Rhymed that and that. Bad punch with ass like dat, decent concept though. Kid you're all clammed up...you need to at least try to get out ya shell... I would say that you might win...but kid there I really doubt you will... Forced rhyme. No punch, just saying you doubt he will win. You think that you can rap kid.....well guess what...I don't believe you... Cause honestly...your lines are as stupid...as a line for a movie preview... Bad punch honestly. Set up wasn't great either. You can't free-style....cept maybe wit ya clothes from the Goodwill... Dogg your punches couldn't hit me.....even if I just stood still... First real punch I've seen. Kinda played though. Don't try to throw blows my way kid.....cause ya disses I can't feel... How ya think you'll win.......when you can't elevate past an ant hill! Decent closer. Overall, I see the potential, but you need to work on your wording because it keeps making your punches mere statements then a personal. Similies are bad as well. I liked some of your concepts though. [u]nonchalant Check it..i will pulverize this kid..turn his flesh into ashes He's..runnin' out of 'shine' like a 'light bulb' that 'flashes' Decent punch. Bad filler though. When he's playin 'basketball'..that's the only time he's 'runnin for the block'(reppin) It's obvious he likes thing in 'twos'..so let's give pair-a-docks a pair-of-cocks Take out his name and would have flowed better. Ok punch, not that great. It's 'funny' how he's confident battlin' me..he's a fuckin' 'joke' Only time he fuckin' looks 'big' is if he put on two fluffy 'coats' No. Bad punch. I'm new to RV..but the new kid will still eat ya Only way he's 'toppin' me if he was 'pepperoni' and i was the 'pizza' Dissed yourself a bit here. To beat me is impossible...like bein' a Pussy-AndDick Put this dude on a 'strawberry'..cuz i 'creamed' him and gave his ass a 'whip' No. Bad punch again. Decent wordplay. Overall the potential is here as well, but you need to work on your wording and punches. They are weak, and every now and then you have a filler. I liked some of your punches. My vote goes to nonchalant for punches. His wordplay helped a little, but his punches hit harder in my opinion. v-nonchalant |
Damn it, the structure messed up. Do you all care?
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Voted For: Pair-A-Docks
Check it..i will pulverize this kid..turn his flesh into ashes He's..runnin' out of 'shine' like a 'light bulb' that 'flashes' aight When he's playin 'basketball'..that's the only time he's 'runnin for the block'(reppin) It's obvious he likes thing in 'twos'..so let's give pair-a-docks a pair-of-cocks nice It's 'funny' how he's confident battlin' me..he's a fuckin' 'joke' Only time he fuckin' looks 'big' is if he put on two fluffy 'coats' played I'm new to RV..but the new kid will still eat ya Only way he's 'toppin' me if he was 'pepperoni' and i was the 'pizza' weak To beat me is impossible...like bein' a Pussy-AndDick(pair-a-docks) Put this dude on a 'strawberry'..cuz i 'creamed' him and gave his ass a 'whip' (whip cream) played but ok 5/10 Kid....how do you think you gonna win writing bad rap and stuff like that... You look FOOLISH....got Em saying, "I ain't never seen an ASS like that"... weak Kid you're all clammed up...you need to at least try to get out ya shell... I would say that you might win...but kid there I really doubt you will... weak You think that you can rap kid.....well guess what...I don't believe you... Cause honestly...your lines are as stupid...as a line for a movie preview... ok You can't free-style....cept maybe wit ya clothes from the Goodwill... Dogg your punches couldn't hit me.....even if I just stood still... nice! Don't try to throw blows my way kid.....cause ya disses I can't feel... How ya think you'll win.......when you can't elevate past an ant hill! nice 6/10 it was a preety weak battle but i like pair-a-docks verse better and he had better structure wich won my voe cause it was a close battle R/F or the vote will be removed http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=199762 |
uppin' for votes
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good battle^^^^^ uppin
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return the favor since i voted on yas battle ya can vote on my battle
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=199762 |
uppin I will get to that battle later on ok? ^^^^
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uppin' for votes...
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uppin' for votes...
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Voted For: nonchalant
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=199108 both of u return the favor or vote will be dqed nonchalant got my vote cause he came harder with his punches. pair-a-docks u hot man but your punches were not hittin as hard no hate at all man u did your thing aight well thats my vote return the honest favor or it will be dqed http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=199108 |
uppin for votes
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This was feedback posted for Pair-A-Docks
wit that in mind then it's nothin really missin' to say
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yo i asked yall to returnthe favor man so heres a link
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=200482 |
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Voted For: nonchalant
Kid....how do you think you gonna win writing bad rap and stuff like that... You look FOOLISH....got Em saying, "I ain't never seen an ASS like that"... ^^^weak and basic......2/10 Kid you're all clammed up...you need to at least try to get out ya shell... I would say that you might win...but kid there I really doubt you will... ^^^shell/will...doesn't rhyme...weak punch...2/10 You think that you can rap kid.....well guess what...I don't believe you... Cause honestly...your lines are as stupid...as a line for a movie preview... ^^HuH?....weak.....2/10 You can't free-style....cept maybe wit ya clothes from the Goodwill... Dogg your punches couldn't hit me.....even if I just stood still... ^^That punches can't hit/stand still is played..2/10 Don't try to throw blows my way kid.....cause ya disses I can't feel... How ya think you'll win.......when you can't elevate past an ant hill! ^^feel/hill...doesn't rhyme...weak punch again!..2/10 Man...all your punches were weak.I see you got the structure....but aside from that...there was nothing.A lot of your rhymes didn't rhyme.Make every line rhyme.Then...your punches...they were weak.You were just stating stuff.Get some wordplay and metas and such. Check it..i will pulverize this kid..turn his flesh into ashes He's..runnin' out of 'shine' like a 'light bulb' that 'flashes' ^^^basic and played.....2/10 When he's playin 'basketball'..that's the only time he's 'runnin for the block'(reppin) It's obvious he likes thing in 'twos'..so let's give pair-a-docks a pair-of-cocks ^^OMG....uncreative as fuck....1/10 It's 'funny' how he's confident battlin' me..he's a fuckin' 'joke' Only time he fuckin' looks 'big' is if he put on two fluffy 'coats' ^^Basic....2/10 I'm new to RV..but the new kid will still eat ya Only way he's 'toppin' me if he was 'pepperoni' and i was the 'pizza ^^meh...maybe yo best line..though still weak..4/10' To beat me is impossible...like bein' a Pussy-AndDick(pair-a-docks) Put this dude on a 'strawberry'..cuz i 'creamed' him and gave his ass a 'whip' ^^^PLAYed....2/10 HAd too many played lines.Flow and structure was good.Just get some more creative shit.You seemed to be saying things just because they rhyme...like that pair a docks/pair a cocks line.The best line is this whole battle was probably the pizza/toppin one.SO ya got my vote for better punches and actually rhyming in every line. Vote-NonChalant RTF PLEASE http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203256 ^^^c'mon...i gave both of you feedback to help you improve |
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Voted For: nonchalant
very nice verse, came harder, musta wanted it more....but overall had some good flow to it also.. V/Nonchalant |
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