blackfrostbite vs VISION
 

Battle Rules:

6 - UNLIMITED Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting
no P.M. for votes

Minimum posts to vote:

Check in by: 07-17-05 at 07:06 PM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

VISION has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-14-05 07:07 PM.

blackfrostbite has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-14-05 08:12 PM.

yo quit tryin to be Raven,you can't see in da future/
'member Ray Charles and Stevie are ya muses/
haha,dis amuses me,lol,you make me laugh/
i can see ahead of time though when i hit da blunt to fast/
yo head to da doc,have ya eyes checked out/
cuz i want you to be able to read da bars im tossin out/
ouch!dat right must be like a stab to ya eye/
in ya sig,dat skull resembles ya face,its in ya eye/
dis is so obvisous,anyone could see it/
how you gone have a name like vision,but ya loss you couldn't see it/

i know you see dat!!!!
lol
holla

You've got the wrong kind of RIME/Rhyme
and now you're Frozen in time,
but that heat that VISION speaks
will defrost you're behind.

You stumbled across a lyrical boss mr.frost,
or should i say frosty u softy, take a loss.

This wanna b stepped in front of me,
now it's slushies on the house.
he ain't talkin no more.
I put a lid on his mouth.

With this sick,twisted,verbalistic rhyming device.
think twice, i'm precise
and you're slippin on ice.

YELLOW SNOW is you're name bi$#%

good drop,uuuuppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnn
fffffffooooooooorrrrrrr dddddddddeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmm
votes

whats the deal yo no votes no battle.........................

yeah i know
uuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn

Voted For: VISION

yo quit tryin to be Raven,you can't see in da future/
'member Ray Charles and Stevie are ya muses/
UM...OK I GUESS
haha,dis amuses me,lol,you make me laugh/
i can see ahead of time though when i hit da blunt to fast/
IS THIS A PUNCH?
yo head to da doc,have ya eyes checked out/
cuz i want you to be able to read da bars im tossin out/
OK
ouch!dat right must be like a stab to ya eye/
in ya sig,dat skull resembles ya face,its in ya eye/
TRYING
dis is so obvisous,anyone could see it/
how you gone have a name like vision,but ya loss you couldn't see it/
OK...WELL NOT REALLY...EHH


BREAKDOWN-VERE WASN'T GOOD AT ALL...YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ELEVATE THE MORE THAT YOU ARE ON THE WEBSITE...IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE DECLINED...YOUR VOCAB ISN'T GOOD AT ALL...AND YOUR PUNCHES AREN'T HIITIN AT ALL...YOUR PERSONALS ALSO ARE LOST IN THE OBLIVIAN SKY...YOU MIGHT NEED TO TRY'N INCORPORATE THEM INTO YOUR VERSE





You've got the wrong kind of RIME/Rhyme
and now you're Frozen in time,
OK...I GUESS
but that heat that VISION speaks
will defrost you're behind.
THAT IS THE WRONG YOU'RE...BUT STILL...PUNCH WAS EHH

You stumbled across a lyrical boss mr.frost,
or should i say frosty u softy, take a loss.
OK..

This wanna b stepped in front of me,
now it's slushies on the house.
HAHA...FUNNI
he ain't talkin no more.
I put a lid on his mouth.
OK
With this sick,twisted,verbalistic rhyming device.
think twice, i'm precise
and you're slippin on ice.
OK I LIKE DA VOCAB USAGE

YELLOW SNOW is you're name bi$#%
THAT IS JUST WRONG...HAHA


BREAKDOWN-THIS VERSE WAS ALOT BETTA THEN WHAT YOU ARE KNOWN TO PRODUCE...YOU HAD A COUPLE OF PUNCHES IN THERE THAT I COULD DEAL WIT...BUT YOU SHOULD MAYBE TRY'NN READ SOME OF THOSE PEEPS IN ELEVATED LINES TO TRY'N GET SOME TIPS ON WORDPLAY AND SHIT LIKE DAT...BUT BATTLE OVERAL WASN'T GOOD AT ALL...BUT OK VERSE...PEACE

nice feedback yo good critique.
much appreciated ...........................

yeah............uuuuuuuupppppppppiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn nn
god dammit vote thnx

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppppppppppp piiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn for some more voters

Voted For: VISION

I vote for Vision
structure was tight
nice play on words
and the punches kept on

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

uuuuuuuupppppppppppppiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnn
for more votes so vote

Voted For: VISION

straight up da winner rtf and vote on my battles :)

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

Voted For: VISION

umm I guess Vision cuz he actually punched lol..this battle sucked ass, u guys need to read more

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

Voted For: blackfrostbite

Flow-Blackforst bite had lines that didn't rhyme.Future and muses doesn't rhyme.I gotto go with Vision in flow.But both of you get rid of the basic rhyme shcmeme.

Punches-Well....neither had anything hot.But Vision had some that had no purpose.Like that Rime/rhyme line.Stupuid.I go with Frostbite here.

Personals-Neither....both sucked here.

Multis-Neither...same as personals.

Originality-Probaboly Black frost bite though neither of you were creative.

Vote-Blackfrostbite
VOTE IN LINK BELOW OR THIS VOTE WILL BE REMOVED
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202387

I was wondering why the polls were 4-1 on Vision's favor...FrostBite....go report these votes here as they were unexplained and probably d/r.There is no way you should lose this battle like this.

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...0&goto=lastpost

Voted For: blackfrostbite

fucking week battle, but blackfrostbite took this battle easyli

yo quit tryin to be Raven,you can't see in da future/
'member Ray Charles and Stevie are ya muses/
EEE WELL IT DOSINT RHYMES
haha,dis amuses me,lol,you make me laugh/
i can see ahead of time though when i hit da blunt to fast/
THE FIRST LINE WAS JUST A BUNCH A WORD THAT U TYPED RANDOM LOL
yo head to da doc,have ya eyes checked out/
cuz i want you to be able to read da bars im tossin out/
THIS WASINT REALLY A PUNCH, JUST SOMETHING U WANT HIM TO DO
ouch!dat right must be like a stab to ya eye/
in ya sig,dat skull resembles ya face,its in ya eye/
TWO TIME THE SAME RHYME, AND IT WAS WEAK
dis is so obvisous,anyone could see it/
how you gone have a name like vision,but ya loss you couldn't see it/
THIS WAS KINDA YA BEST BAR, EVEN IF THE STRUCTURE WAS BAD...SO WATCH UR STRUCTURE AND ELEVATE

vote: blackfrostbite

thnx fam,both of yall,yeah i did report to strobe im waitin on da results though

Voted For: VISION

weak battle !... but

Vote = Vision

not much 2 explain but...
Punches were alil harder (still needs improvement)
wordplay was alil more complex (still needs improvement)
metaphors...blah...none in this battle

frostbite u were jus sayin the same thing over n over about an eye...n none of it was hittin hard...work on ur punches !

so the slight edge goes to Vision


would apreciate the favor to be returned from both of yall wit da battle in my sig....

1

thnx fam....................................
uuuuuuuuuupppppiiiiiiiinnnnn
for more votes
returnin fav to macreep right now

Voted For: VISION

BlackFrostbite

yo quit tryin to be Raven,you can't see in da future/
'member Ray Charles and Stevie are ya muses/
^NO, doesnt rhyme nor duz it go together^
haha,dis amuses me,lol,you make me laugh/
i can see ahead of time though when i hit da blunt to fast/
^no punches here basic rhyming^
yo head to da doc,have ya eyes checked out/
cuz i want you to be able to read da bars im tossin out/
^Rhymed the same word twice...not a punch at all^
ouch!dat right must be like a stab to ya eye/
in ya sig,dat skull resembles ya face,its in ya eye/
^rhymed the same word twice this time u gave half a punch^
dis is so obvisous,anyone could see it/
how you gone have a name like vision,but ya loss you couldn't see it/
^Once again rhymed the same word twice.....a full punch, nice ending^

Vision

You've got the wrong kind of RIME/Rhyme
and now you're Frozen in time,
but that heat that VISION speaks
will defrost you're behind.
^Good opener weak punch though...multis are good^
You stumbled across a lyrical boss mr.frost,
or should i say frosty u softy, take a loss.
^Good nice multis and sharp punch right there^
This wanna b stepped in front of me,
now it's slushies on the house.
he ain't talkin no more.
I put a lid on his mouth.
^ok multis.....good punch ^

With this sick,twisted,verbalistic rhyming device.
think twice, i'm precise
and you're slippin on ice.
^Crazy multis ok punch excellent finis^

v/vision

Please vote on the battle in my sig

Voted For: blackfrostbite

yo quit tryin to be Raven,you can't see in da future/
'member Ray Charles and Stevie are ya muses/
^^OK....liked 1st line more....4/10
haha,dis amuses me,lol,you make me laugh/
i can see ahead of time though when i hit da blunt to fast/
^^No punch.....2/10
yo head to da doc,have ya eyes checked out/
cuz i want you to be able to read da bars im tossin out/
^^No punch.....1/10
ouch!dat right must be like a stab to ya eye/
in ya sig,dat skull resembles ya face,its in ya eye/
^^woulda been better if ya didn't rhmye the same words...3/10
dis is so obvisous,anyone could see it/
how you gone have a name like vision,but ya loss you couldn't see it/
^^Best Bar here.....6/10

OK...ight verse here.Had some lines in the middle that didn't hit...it was you lip-smacking.That last bar may have won it for you though.Overall...a good verse...5/10

You've got the wrong kind of RIME/Rhyme
and now you're Frozen in time,
^^what the hell?..the frozen shit coulda been better..2/10
but that heat that VISION speaks
will defrost you're behind.
^^No punch....1/10
You stumbled across a lyrical boss mr.frost,
or should i say frosty u softy, take a loss.
^^No punch...stop talkin shit and diss....1/10
This wanna b stepped in front of me,
now it's slushies on the house.
he ain't talkin no more.
I put a lid on his mouth.
^^NO.....2/10

Ok...poor structure and poor flow.Here wat...get some wordplay and metas.You were too basic.That 1st bar woulda been hot if you had some better wording.Try making your line longer too.

Vote-BlackFrostBite
RTF below ;)
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203256
With this sick,twisted,verbalistic rhyming device.
think twice, i'm precise
and you're slippin on ice.

thnx fam uuuuppppiiiinnnnn
all i need iz two more

upuppppin
please vote yall
.......................
______________
_________
______
vote

This was feedback posted for blackfrostbite
 

y0 tHaT sHiT wUz FiRe SuN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voted For: VISION

Neither of the verses were mind boggling.. but VISION had some precision in this one..
Flow - Vision had this cuz his lines strung togehter better than Frost's did
Punches - I didnt even see strong punches is Frost's verse at all.. VISION got this with personals attacking his opponents name
Multis - Neither had strong enough multies to be voted on..

All in All.. v/ vision

uuuuuuppppppin
once more
we need mo votes
so get up

Voted For: VISION

straight verse, bette wordplay, better structure, better overall...