|
Pair-A-Docks vs Illegal
Battle Rules:
8 bars max. No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting who spittin 1st? nike(checkin in) Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 07-21-05 at 10:07 AM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Illegal has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-18-05 10:08 AM.
|
its ya boy illegal showin dis dude dat im not 2 be fucked wit//
i spit fire so 'beatin' me is goin b hard, like a soar dick!!// facin me, ibet u don'teven kno im ya father, yo// dis dude is soft, watch as i demolish him wit a ko// im spitten 2 harsh 4 u, leavin u mentally ill// o no!, my 'brakes' not workin, watch as damage dis nigga as if he was road kill!!// takin me on is settin ur standards way 2 high, so watch me reset it// cuz ur wak nigga, i ain't goin sugacoat shit, i guess u culd call me lyrically diabetic!!// i have ya gurl in my bed explorin her like i am columbus// ur notin i don't even kno why im spitten on dis// lemme finish dis now, call da tooth fairy cause lines da only thing dis nigga bites on// wen u accept dis challege, erbody kne u was fucked jus like some dirty porn!!// |
Pair-A-Docks has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-18-05 12:00 PM.
|
where u at doggs imean uppin 4 ya verse aight holla at me
|
This kids brain must be off balance....by now he feels feeble....
If this kid was a sick bird....he still couldn't be...... ILL eagle.... Wow......been here since May and only nine posts...oh crap... That means it took you 2 months just to find Bitch Slapped... I hate to kill this kid....but it's my job....I gotta do what I gotta do... How you think you spit hot....when a water gun spits hotta foo... Fuck 8 bars man...I only need 5...what the fuck... 16 lines.... You need a walking stick foo....cuz I know you can't hit me blind... If my rhymes were a food...I swear that you'd be "biting me"... You're just 'trash' kid...fuck your rules you really need 'recycling! Good Luck! |
uppin.........................
|
uppin fools cmon
|
Voted For: Pair-A-Docks
This kids brain must be off balance....by now he feels feeble.... If this kid was a sick bird....he still couldn't be...... ILL eagle.... ^^kinda forced rhyme here....OK punch though Wow......been here since May and only nine posts...oh crap... That means it took you 2 months just to find Bitch Slapped... ^^Lmao...Nice punch and worded beautifully I hate to kill this kid....but it's my job....I gotta do what I gotta do... How you think you spit hot....when a water gun spits hotta foo... ^^^A lil basic,worded good again,basic rhyme sheme Fuck 8 bars man...I only need 5...what the fuck... 16 lines.... You need a walking stick foo....cuz I know you can't hit me blind... ^^^baah......It was Ok...... If my rhymes were a food...I swear that you'd be "biting me"... You're just 'trash' kid...fuck your rules you really need 'recycling! ^^^Meh......Ok I guess....didn't rhyme though Basic rhyme sheme.Good structure.Need more wordplay/metas and personals.More complextity.Best line was the 9 posts/Bitch slapped one.Made me laugh. its ya boy illegal showin dis dude dat im not 2 be fucked wit// i spit fire so 'beatin' me is goin b hard, like a soar dick!!// ^^ewwww......this line suked too facin me, ibet u don'teven kno im ya father, yo// dis dude is soft, watch as i demolish him wit a ko// ^^WOW...this rhyme was so forced...not even a punch im spitten 2 harsh 4 u, leavin u mentally ill// o no!, my 'brakes' not workin, watch as damage dis nigga as if he was road kill!!// ^^^NO.....this was stupuid Ight...I got things to do so I ain't breaking down the rest of the verse as the it was the same.You had a newb structure....so get rid a that.Don't end verses with "//".Just makes it look newbish.And next time...don;t get carries away and starting talking about yourself whole verse. Vote-Pair a docks VOTE IN LNK BELOW OR I WILL HAVE THIS VOTE REMOVED http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=200965 |
thanx uppin y'all
|
uppin for you that sleep on RV
|
Voted For: Pair-A-Docks
hmmmm...good battle prety 1 sidee tho pair a docks took this closer by pair was bad not gud man overall gud battle pair took dis! |
uppin this vote please..........
|
uppin cmon everyone vote please
|
Voted For: Pair-A-Docks
lol.............hands down..................pair-a-docks took this and ran with it ......... intro was sick : This kids brain must be off balance....by now he feels feeble.... If this kid was a sick bird....he still couldn't be...... ILL eagle....: funny line.. love the personal.......kinda went easier @ the end of ur drop tho... but u still get my vote over all u had a better drop.. good structure.. easier to follow flow.. alot more entertaining.. and piece of advise for Illegal don't use"//" try to set up ur lines differently.. u had good wordplay but didn't spend enuff time insulting your opponent... keep writing to both..... V/Pair-A -Docks |
RTF please with an honest vote http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202795
|
This was feedback posted for Pair-A-Docks
y0 tHaT sHiT wUz FiRe SuN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
Voted For: Pair-A-Docks
its ya boy illegal showin dis dude dat im not 2 be fucked wit// i spit fire so 'beatin' me is goin b hard, like a soar dick!!// ^NO PUNCH.....1/10^ facin me, ibet u don'teven kno im ya father, yo// dis dude is soft, watch as i demolish him wit a ko// ^THIS WAS A SOFT PUNCH DIDNT HIT HARD 2/10^ im spitten 2 harsh 4 u, leavin u mentally ill// o no!, my 'brakes' not workin, watch as damage dis nigga as if he was road kill!!// ^SELF GLORIFYING NO DISS 0/10^ takin me on is settin ur standards way 2 high, so watch me reset it// cuz ur wak nigga, i ain't goin sugacoat shit, i guess u culd call me lyrically diabetic!!// ^NO DISS...VERY BAD WORDPLAY.....3/10^ i have ya gurl in my bed explorin her like i am columbus// ur notin i don't even kno why im spitten on dis// ^self glorfin ur dick riding urself 0/10^ lemme finish dis now, call da tooth fairy cause lines da only thing dis nigga bites on// wen u accept dis challege, erbody kne u was fucked jus like some dirty porn!!// ^doesnt rhyme....not at all.......0/10^ Over all u need work on ur structure, u had no flow what so ever try getting all of the words to line up at the end of each line.Ur Rhyme scheme was so basic up the vocab and shit..as ur verse goes along makes it more interesting to read...up on that shit This kids brain must be off balance....by now he feels feeble.... If this kid was a sick bird....he still couldn't be...... ILL eagle.... ^nice opener pretty decent diss 4/10^ Wow......been here since May and only nine posts...oh crap... That means it took you 2 months just to find Bitch Slapped... ^kinda weak not that hard hitting 3/10^ I hate to kill this kid....but it's my job....I gotta do what I gotta do... How you think you spit hot....when a water gun spits hotta foo... ^ummm...no lol not feelin that 1/10^ Fuck 8 bars man...I only need 5...what the fuck... 16 lines.... You need a walking stick foo....cuz I know you can't hit me blind... ^ok line not a diss though kinda self glorifying 1/10^ If my rhymes were a food...I swear that you'd be "biting me"... You're just 'trash' kid...fuck your rules you really need 'recycling! ^This right here won u the battle nice diss and good wordplay 8/10^ Overall ur structure is hott..had a nice flow, up on ur multis so u can have better verse and more enjoyable to read......up on ur disses u only had like 1 real hard hitting diss which was the only one in the battle keep it up.. AND RTF SINCE I TOOK THE TIME TO PEEP UR BATTLE OR THIS VOTE WILL BE REMOVED |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:39 AM. |