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Tweety vs BLACK~MAGIK
Battle Rules:
20-30 Lines No crew votes No hate votes Fully explain votes Vote on all aspects (Imagery, Emotion, ect ,ect) No feeding (Taking Idea) Topic-Life Long Struggles Minimum posts to vote: 400 Check in by: 07-22-05 at 12:37 AM Must drop verse in 7200 minutes after check in. |
BLACK~MAGIK has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-22-05 12:09 AM.
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Fffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeppppppppppoooooooooooosssssssssssssssstttttt tttttttt
:) |
^^ Stupid.....Lol.................................... ...
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Tweety has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-22-05 12:35 AM.
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I know.................
But there's no mods to stop me here :) Goddamn Im dope :thumbup: |
Why not freepost some more???
:thumbup: |
Hey Tweety, How about you let me win?? :evilgrin: :evilgrin:
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^^ Yeah Right, like that would happen....................
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Oh Shucks :(.........................................
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iofdhbglskngonfsgmvlikj
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dgjlifdihiurhgijknviufhgvljknviuahfigjbnikdfhoiuad
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^^ Plz get on aim now...............................
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What do you need?? I got on aim and you werent on :(
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Nvm..................................
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-The Life Long Struggle- We flex on the surface, but deep down we stuggle Insecurity screams out, but the sounds are muffled Id like ta say that aint me, but thats stupid because... I was a hustler before I even knew what that was Felt I had to prove myself, show that I was legit But couldnt do it; thats why I started rhymin this shit I worked hard to elevate, earned some respect and trust But learned quickly that the sickest verse is never sick enough So I switched up my perspective, now I spit for myself Regardless if my CD aint move off the shelf But now some kats be trippin', askin' "Why do you do this?" -But if ya cant be true to yaself, who can you be true with? I see them lie and steal, so they can feel they tough Then judge others for doin' the same shit they guilty of It crushes me, how people will kill for an identity Unaware that deception is their only real enemy They've been told their whole life their existance is worthless So they cant see that ignorance is all that blocks their soul's purpose So go out and find the real truth, and speak up for your reason Cuz if you dont stand for your beliefs, do you really believe 'em? |
we drop today........................................
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When She came out of the womb, she was doom. Mother smile size of a moon, at the same time sad blooms This Little Girl enters a world of life god have given with Eyes Woken. She’s Placed where love is not mention Bad Decension By god, will she ever appease him? Her Light seems dim. Heart trying staying alive is slim As She Blend with the curtains, her pupil Now View A man that love from him is Dew. A heart that's a flu She Tried everything, including scream but it don’t help Ache her heart felt. Now She's going to end him .................................................. .................With a big Yelp Pain on her back-side. Smells of scotch in her nostrils She can see the hate in his pupil. In fear her body wobbles Ever since she was born, without her big mother angel She've been strangled. A web she can't escape so tangled Locked in the abyss with him, where scars are being created Love here is faided.Here where blood on her skin is always painted When the Scotch cleared. His pupil un-blurred, he still don’t forgive Acts like his lover died because of her, The day that god alms give As she cried in her room, while the mattress soaked up her tears. She cracked the shell of fear, with a expression of a payback .................................................. ..........Through..all these hurted years Still Standing blend with the curtains, she Holds the R.I.P To end all this and she'll be free, with bloods scattered thee Pays no remorse for his soul, for thou he's going to hell Loud As a Bell, as her body shook. Blood leaked as he fell The Lock has been broke, she's free. Breathing no despair All Pure Air. No Longer fears crept in her, nor deaths to beware Through all the Long struggles, while she'd walked on long miles Finally in a long time she's smiles, No more walking in isles She can now expand herself along the roads. It was a hard struggle But she end it with a pop of a bubble. Bright sun above her ...............Shimmering down on her....Ahh her mother sent a signal |
Nice drop here.....................................
Uppin for some votes maybe?? |
Voted For: Tweety
Good battle by both...Tweet.....strong imagery...you vividly desecribed every facot...some imagery was somewhat forced tho....structure was good coulda been stronger.....vocab was ok....not as spectacualr as it SHOULDA been....flow was koo....the story developed nicely....woulda liked to ahve seen sum metas but eh good anyways overall BM......man you opened nicely then started falling off...you didn't let the story develop the way it coulda..if u ahd wrote more an kept wit the story better u coulda had it...ya vocab was koo..flow fair..structure wasn't too great neither...imagery faded in an out....u had it in spots...but there was alot of inconsistencies.....overall ya piece jus didn't have enough lines too fully develop an it cost you the match Vote: Tweet |
Voted For: Tweety
Tweety nice verse the begiining started off slow but you started to work into the imagery alittle and put out a vision of what was happening,the emotion was nice i was feeling every inch of it,thhe vocabulary was decent in this as well.....nice read girl BM you had a great start to your topical,but then towards the end you started to fall off a bit i mean it wasnt a solid piece,your imagery was decent as the same was your emotion,if you never fell of at the end id say the outcome of this battle might of been a different story....anyways keep working at it v/tweety |
Uppin............................................. .
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Voted For: Tweety
ok this was an aight topical abttle both did their thing but i liked tweety's more it very outshined BM......though BM did his but i think it wasnt that imagery to show a picture of what ur seein u kno......but tweety on the other hand had alot pf imagery and vocabulary very good job on that and emotion was good for both of yall also tweety outshined that too.......so actually tweety got this but good job to the both of yall but my v/ goes to tweety for havin a better emotional and imagery piece....... . . . . . . PLZ RTF WIT A HONEST VOTE IN ONE OF MY BATTLES IN MY SIG OR VOTE GETS REMOVED......thnx u in advance....... Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
Thanx Bump this up.....................................
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This was feedback posted for BLACK~MAGIK
pppppppooooooooooooollllllllllllllllssssssssssssss
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Voted For: Tweety
good battle here.... black magik: i liked how u flipped the concept about things in real life and shit like tgat, emotion was good, vocab was decent... flow was on point all the wayu through... they enjoyment was nice basically itket me interested all the way through and had a decent story line to it... good job man tweety: nice again, different kind of concept here, you went deeper into your piece and had a better story to it,. the vocab was better aswell... flow was on point..... imagaination was better than blacks.... overall i just thought that your piece stood out more and was better to read. good job to both but imma give this to tweety becuz she went deeper into the topic, and showed more emotion and imagination... v/ tweety |
Fuck you Tweety :)
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Sorry, only females :)...............................
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Uppin............................................. .....
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Fucking Uppin this motherfucker :)
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Uppin this fag....................................
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Voted For: Tweety
Flow-Tweety....both had a lil basic rhyme sheme.But tweety had a ton of internals that made it good.Black magic...basic rhyme ...no-no.. wording-tweety because black magik's wording was newbish.HIs shit just didn't connect as well. concepts-even...I think both of you didn't have a concept that was good enough.ANd plus..this topic was rendundant.I've heard it a million times. Vote-Tweety VOTE IN LINK BELOW http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202024 Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
Uppin.............................................
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Voted For: Tweety
Black Magik - Your verse was very well written i think there were places in it that you fell off like your emotion was there you could see it but at the same time i believe you ould have came harder in that aspect your imagery was decent throughout your verse and overall it was a average piece Tweety - Well ....Your verse was very good I haven't read a lot of your topicals but this showed your potential and overall ability to write a nice emotional , and very good imaged piece. I believe the way you came at this topic was what got you my vote very different in my eyes and that usually is where good topical battlers lie ..in their indifferences from the norm...but Your piece was more than good to take this battle Overall - Good Battle by both Black keep it up, and Tweety keep holding it down... My Vote - Tweety |
Tweety, go ahead and get this closed..............
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Cool, I'll get @ Strobe to get this closed..........
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