Dissapearing Clouds
 

Dissapearing Clouds

A cloaked man, provoked but not convinced with his status
Sauntered up the stratosphere and unearthed an apparatus
The clouds revealed a lattice where business was transacted
They protracted and impacted with extracted distractions
And were acted, not through reaction, but ample creation

A sanctioned station; secluded but not positively unknown
Sacred to many, a home…
………………..The clouds broke and a voice spoke alone
It intoned prone probing, coping with faithful assumption
The discussion spoken, entailed the man’s own consumption
The cloud’s second function, tipped precipitation on dead ground

The man awoke in his impound, drowning in his possessions
His dream had professed an impression; a new found obsession
He had nothing to question – just his mind’s expression was art
Concealed in the dark, sharks circled in as he pieced together an ark
Stark farce and gale force winds exploded from above…

Like the wings of a dove, animals came in pairs with hiatus
The clouds had created death while the greatest embraced it
They repopulated, the storm changed the face of the land
The face of the man, was later buried in sand
Animals slandered the land, which a new man could soon perceive

*The clouds part*

So it came to be, God would develop a story with Adam and Eve.
Noah had a covenant agreed, but he forgot an ally to breed
And so you can see, the day that God invented greed.

*The sky darkens again*


Daubs - Fight Night

Wow, this was dope seriousely.

The imagery throughout was dope as was the vocab.

The structure was decent and the piece had a consistent flow also.

The man awoke in his impound, drowning in his possessions
His dream had professed an impression; a new found obsession
He had nothing to question – just his mind’s expression was art
Concealed in the dark, sharks circled in as he pieced together an ark

^^Was especially good.

Come to LL.

thanks man, lookin for some more feed, leave a link and ill def. get back to you

really painted a picture in my head... liked the topic... good vocab no doubt...
vocab - 8/10
flow - 7/10
topical - 8/10

overall like a 7.5/10

return tha favor on this OM.. id appreciate it
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...2323&styleid=14

^ done. drop some more links yo,

Gongshow, huh? Well, your multis are as fire-ful as an inferno of banana impalers. The concept is an original waffle in itself, a vortex of pure unadulterated horror only percieved through the words of a dictionary. Your flow was off the chain like broken links laying on the warm ground of Satan's left nipple and stuff.

In all, good. 8/10

...was that a fuckin mad lib? lmaoooooo

Return the favor on my Divining Rod my mister from a kisser sister.

tell me how you feel my link(http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202384)

Fight to prevail so I bite my nails nervous as hell, don’t get service well with responses so I’m corrupt and loco having a cup of cocoa eating a red fried bagel from the bedside table this season a complex attraction need a reason for sex action

Your so fuckin wack^.

My verse > Maddrapper's, anyday.

You should hold me, Daubs. It'd be productive.

cats call me whack but can't come with tall fact its all an act to cover the truth, i got a trademark but you afraid of the dark pussy, not a hood survivor just wood fibers to be popped and chopped by an ax you not hot on wax likke famous rappers

...What in the FUCK does that mean? What the hell is a 'tall fact'? Your wackness is an act to cover the truth that we're afraid of dark pussy? That we don't live in the hood but Maddrapper does and he's a survivor, and we're 'wood fibers' who're popped?

Who the hell is 'hot on wax' at all? So, you're saying I'm the same as a famous rapper because we're not hot on wax...cool.

this was good man, was really feelin it, flow and structure were good, vocab was good also, liked the topic, overall this was a good read, keep it up man

excuse me but You're not smart worth a fart boy if you can't put that verse together damn teacher must've been a broken leg horse dumb fuck

^ Nice wordplay. Allow me to be the teacher on this one.



Correction: Excuse me boy, but you're not smart worth a fart. If you can't put that verse together then you're damn teacher must've been a dumb fucking horse with a broken leg.

Why don't you pick up a fucking book because you're talking like a fucking retard.

vague you try look down bu tjust a shook clown that can't rhyme worth a fuck

fucka topical. ima kick it text on this clown. i should pink slip your ass on an ip bann, i dont even do text and id STILL fuck you up, clown.

*turns om into a cypher*

Madd, quit the keystylin', you're just buildin' my herb resistence
I'd toss a verse of personals, but your sig sums up your existence
I'll leave you missin, like your cock when you go to stand up
You'd get beat hands down, but the cops told your dad hands up!
Seriously enough's enough, just like any word's a word.
But a herb's a herb, and you're rehearsin' the same verse!
I don't know what's worse, your diss tracks or your comebacks
...If I wanted MY cum back I'd wipe it off your gum flaps!
Sticky this shit, seriously... but not to the back of your throat
Cope with being "Less"..... yeah it makes sense.... You're lost "hope"!
And your quotes... are the most stupid shit since Mr. Hanky.
But my siggy, is promoting your rhymes so really, you should thank me.

Bitch.

yo man....this ....im speechless...breathtaking wonderfull peace right here.......nothing to complain about..........everything is good.......10/10........i love it lol......but do me a favor and give me feedback on mine...so an advanced rapper like you can teach me a lesson

^yeah wat he said dis was a good piece had nice vocab and imargery the emotion was dere completly and ya structure was decent which is always good nice drop keep droppin pieces like dis 9/10

RTF wud be very appreciated
links in sig

taz i wish you hadn't responded to mine now man you don't know a fucking thing about rap advanced rapper nigga you shitting me just name one rapper that rhyme with no atrtitude like this fucking lopsided tramp right here just name one

attitude? what in the blue fucking hell are you talking about? do i have to go to boot camp to merk your ass? no. stfu and never come back here again.

edit: fucking pussy, this is maddrapper judging a battle:

"OHHH DAMN SLIM! Nice earrings! You got tats and everything! Ohhh wowwwwww let me suck your DICK! You're so SEXY! Oh My Godddd, You ever gotten a speeding ticket?!"

"...Ummm Yeah..."

"Oh FUCCKKKK THATS HOTTT!" *nuts his pants* "I vote for YOU!"

Get a fucking life outside the internet. You probably gave your mom attitude once because she didn't do your laundry and you probably got a smack upside your bitch head. Pfff.

Jesus mad, choose an LL head to pink slip you.

Any will so it, your fuckin nuts.

i want toooo...give me a mission im daubs im bored

I liked this Verse, Pretty Much decent in the category "Imagery". Very easily being portrait in my mind. Vocab was overall decent...Flow was good, and good having shorter Lines. The concept was overall "Dope" The approach of it is what made this piece so Appealing to me..Decent Drop here.

Return a fav in my Newest OM "Traking Lives" Link in sig..Thank you

Yo!.....................

Ay man, check crews n collabs forum^^

\\i want you in a topical battle man.

definately strong imagery...ima read it again later, cause i just dipped through it.....word

spelt disappearing wrong though :thumbup: :)