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Heaven vs Hell
Heaven vs Hell
Intro The Day has finally come.....When all humanity.. Reakin havoc & people everwhere causin insanity.. Some may call it the end of the world..But i call it.. the beginning..The day the world's split.. And peoples lifes are determined by things they do.. Whether you end up in heaven or hell it's all up to you.. Prelimanary As the sky turns black..and the .......floor starts to crack.. Creatures and angels start emerging..for there .......attack.. Ghost,Goblems..and Devils all armed....... with axes in hand.. form lines,wishing to kill but,......waiting for satans command.. ........Then the powerful Angels Appear,With halo's and bows.. Composing a plain to defeat the devils..right under there nose.. Then Satan gives the command..and his troops emerge& attack.. Each One holding Iron..and armor ..that would break ones back.. The Angels wait for the moment,that satan strikes first,to start war.. Cus this battle was about to be on of the goriest ..and hardcore.. As the demons draw there weapons..and draw closer..People stare.. Hoping that the angels win this battle,and say there ourfather praire... Then the demonds strike..and one angel falls..and loses its wings.. Thats when the battle begins...Just like some lord of the rings.. The Battle Angels pick up your bows,then fire at will..hitting everything in sight.. Because God aint willing to give up the world,without. having a fight Angels start falling..and demons start deminishing..Battles getting rough.. But creatures...and angels..start coming from everydirection oddly enough.. More & more Creatures and demons start to fall,Seems like there no end.. Creatures attack..Angels Defend..Over & over as if...starting alittle trend After endless days of fighting ..the war seems.... to not have stopped.. Creatures Chopped......................&.......................Angels Dropped The days are getting longer ..the nights never end..who's going to win?! .......But then the angels Feel alittle.......charge of light/energy within.. And god send the key of victory the Archangels...that will seal there fate.. Golden arrows in there possesion ..doing all they can to protect the gate.. Then All of a sudden a flash of light apprears and its god himself in the flesh Striking All of the demons,and creatures who mean harm to the world to mesh Then god snaps his fingures..and everything turns white..& everyone disappears Then you see god grinning from ear to ear.. ....Then god sits and watches the world gets older year after year till we appear *Links* http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=201169 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202605 |
Decent Post But Look The Only Dumb Question Is One Not Asked Homey
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^Word thankz for the feed upping..
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Upping once again for some feedback...........
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Nice drop manye...Had good concept & topic...Flow was good...and had good vocab...Overall-9/10...Keep up the good work manye...
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Sick right here, good concept and topic....multis were lacking, vocab was tight.....structure made it flow good....overall 9/10 keep it up and rtf on my om's
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thankz... upping for some more feedback
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Not totally original, but an ok take on the topic. Imagery was ok, and your emotion was ok. God just saving the world is kinda boring and expected, though the end had a lot of potential if you had made that word "disappear", but ya. Flow and all that was fine. Overall, nothing that new or different.
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yeah man, really liked this, topic was good, imagery was great, flow and vocab were good also, keep em comin man
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deep, imagery is solid..originality in the way of topic is bland, but originality with use of topic is dope.. thi si some nice shit.. liked your flow,structure is solid. good approach to the whole drop.
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this was an ok piece to me. good topic i thought. never seen anything like this. the flow was on point. the only thing i found not so good was the basic vocabulary. i know that its not all about vocab but your choice of words was very basic. overall i would give this a 7.
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okay upping for some more feedback
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Upping again for some more feedback
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Good drop dawg......had a nice concept to it.......Structure on point with nice rhyming words!!!!!!
8/10 Please could u rtf on my OM in my sig and go on aim!!!!! |
Not much to say not already say. I love you like I like sugar, on peanut-butter covered bread. And this verse was like chunky peanut butter, mhm-mhm! - plays banjo. -
You had that...emotional shit, but my heart is like meatloaf left in the stove too long --- good for lobsters. My shovel agrees all aspects had the finality of a breast job costing twenty million g's. A penis wags in delight at this collab, and the imagery and structure involved with it's creation, Jumping Johazafat. I said John had the best piece, but both were equally pleasurable. |
^LOL at fluffy nucca looks dope..
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i liked this..vocabulary could have been uped..you got this to a beat man?
imaginary was dope..concept never bores me 7.10 |
Great imagery. You also happened to have great concept development, and managed to keep the reader intrigued the whole time, which is great. Vocab was alright but you did manage to have some pretty crappy spelling in there at times. Flow was great but I think you overused or exagerated the "...".
I wrote on a topic similar to this twice, and I think maybe we could collab on one of these type of topics, it would be pretty nice. Check my "Open Windows" link in my sig if you have any doubt, and if you could hit that up with some feedback. |
wuz a good topic n had good flow n structure n all but like homie said vocab too baisc for the subject u were describing overall pretty good keep up da good work...btw when u gonna let a nigga know how 2 put a link on my shit so u can quit closin my drop's in om? holla back i sent u a pm u seem 2 b one of da head niggaz on dis site n all so do ya job peace
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Quote:
summed up what i would say :thumbup: |
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