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Tweety vs Black Queen
Battle Rules:
20-30 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No hate votes vote on all topical aspects Explain your votes Topic-Burden Of Life G-Luck :thumbup: Minimum posts to vote: 400 Check in by: 08-09-05 at 09:16 PM Must drop verse in 10080 minutes after check in. |
Black Queen has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-09-05 08:47 PM.
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Tweety has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-09-05 08:48 PM.
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Lets get this Party Started Right!......................
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Imagine yourself as a kid, sleeping tight w/o a burden,
The giants as your parents, handling light w/ curtains. Now that youre up, see reality and make your doubts you dream up a storyline to escape from the house. Get out of your blue bed and go take a bath, sink in playing with toy ships, I poise quick and a war begins. Im tiny to all, but I dont compare nor try to beat them like all kids I dont treat adults superior.. I dont even see them. Like all spoiled brats I get what I want, for being so damn small I dream up WORLDS daily, and Im God to them all. CHILDSPLAY is the keyword, in the center of the piece and fear, bets and phobias..? I dare you to ask me. Armies and plastic faces are like legos and action figures expiring each season for new breeds to capture fictions. Dreaming up terrains, I imagine lands anew and with ease inspired in frames and boxes like comic books and TVs. Interlaced lines console me like NES and other types cuz two-dimension was another escape to another life. That makes me a gamer, a buttonpusher, living multiple, with energy of an eternal pendulum.. barely being tolerable, effecting everyone.. but now Im all grown up and memory is intangible.. so I revise on the known past I miss the first time, full of energy like there were ten of me, as they were archived in stone - forever in my memory. |
Made by god from high above. Still I feel so Grounded. I don’t have an actual diet. I can't feel nor see, I'm blinded Sitting in the dark cold abyss, just waiting for myself to grow Water is what I need, and the sun to blaze down here below I can survive autumn, summer even in the blizzard heavy snow Feeling so aroused, I can't wait to get legs so i can walk and go But I wish I had a heart so I have real feelings and start to cry Cause I'm Lonely down here with no friends sitting by my side Now I'm Just A little Child with no hands and feet and no heart Why did god create me onto this earth, where life and me are depart? Now feeling very fictional. I wish I had a mouth so I can loudly scream Cause it seems that no-one cares about me, nor my very own bloodstream Feeling so dry, I wish I had knees so i can beg and beg for some water Going Under, Dying everyday. How long can I take this pain much longer? It's my dream to become a "Menopause". Eagering for the sun to shine Sadness crept inside of me, will I ever in the world will look so Devine? Trying so hard to reach that highest peak, but without my 2 dearly Friends I must shall face defeat. Waits now till my long stream decompose to the end I make one last plea, “I wish I had tears", thinking and imagining of me crying Creating my own water. Then all of sudden in the darkness started breaking The Skies are blue, the air swiftly gently forces upon my lovely pedals The sun blazes from above it's warmth feels soothe, Like being cuddle All these years of waiting and waiting I finally emerge from the ground Sitting on top of the surface showing my beauty to the whole world now. For Years it was a burden, then I started to dream and imagine things "I wish I had tears" even without water or the sun I still manage to get wings Up Up I went, Listened to the soil cracked, my blood streams take place With Unlimited space, I Smiled at the fact that "I did it on my own Pace" Color Green every-where. Now don’t feel Lonely no more, I have Friends The Ones who will stand by me as we flatter our beauty Till the very end *Remember this is Fiction so...Anything Can Happen... |
Uppin For Votes.....................................
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This was feedback posted for Tweety
would vote but I thought Tweety won and she doesn't return favors....
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:rolleyes:...Just Have Patient I'm just Busy...Sorry. i'll go RTF now. Sheesh.
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Upppity........................................... ............
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I said Uppin mo fo'z!...............................
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Uppin............................................. ....
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tsk tsk tsk dis neva gonna get closed uppin fo da lazy ppl
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I'm Alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
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uppin please........................................
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glad to see you back tweety i was startin to miss ya
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Voted For: Tweety
Tweety-Well..Ok.Was a bit too "shakespearish" to me.As in the other one....ur flow was awful.So many damn stretched lines.I didn't see one bar that flowed smooth.And ur transistion is awful as well.But the best thing you had going..was the content itself.The metas and adjectives were used good and shit.Made it more of a deep peice.Just work on flow and shit. Mysteri-Ok...less "shakespearish" than tweety.So that was good.Flow and transition was a blow out in your favor.Cuz tweety's shit was plagued with stretched lines and weak transition..U still had some shit that didn't rhyme tho..like that 2nd to last bar.But the thing is..you had a lot of filler.Like one line talking about the person gettin outta bed n takin a bath..and wat I want to know is..how the fuck does that relate to the main topic?Keep all fillers out. Vote-Tweety RTF BELOW in 3 days.....or this vote will be removed :thumbup: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206909 |
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And I'm dead serious about this^^-_- |
2 days............................................
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This was feedback posted for Tweety
pollzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 1
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1 day..........
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Damn this hasn't been close yet...Shesh.......Uppin..........
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This was feedback posted for Black Queen
Good battle, checkin pollz............................................. .......................
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