You want an Audio Breakdown...?
 

Ask Fiya. I just gave Tha Q and L. Veracity some pointers in a separate thread. Anybody else? Feel free to drop your name and I'll give you my straight up opinion bout your audios and what you could work on. No hate to anyone I've had beef with in the past, this on some real shit. The reason I'm willing to do this, is because for one i noticed people are elevating yet they aren't exactly where they want to be and the common feedback is "Straight song, I could really bump my head to this" instead pointing out what the hell's wrong with it.

And before anyone says, oh you have no right telling people what they need to elevate on. Well I have done months of elevating myself. I'm working on solo tracks I'm in the process of writing my 9th solo track. I have worked on flow, i never felt my lyrics were down but I worked on that too, as well as delivery. I would love to help others. I'll post my samples mid-Sept.

I'm not gonna butter up none of you, but don't be afraid. If you want to opinions and truth, then I'm offering that here. If you don't believe nothings wrong with your tracks at all, then this is not the thread for you. And something is wrong with EVERYONE'S shit, including my own. I'mma let y'all know what's real. I'll peep your last five tracks on your page and holla.
Get At Me.

do me. :cool: ~_~

www.myspace.com/spul
^jus my newest shit is therre

bvut

www.soundclick.com/spulakareckless

for all my ish


props for this. ~_~

after spul do me gal...it'd much appreciated...link- click on graffiti in sig

*wait to get his shit torn to threads* (top 4 are newest)

acuity, that new graff in ya sig is dope!! did u make it? o yea, isnt this tha same shyt as trips, test ya marketability? no offence fiya, cuz i see alot of ppl respect you on here and value you're oppinion, but you dont even drop audio's, so how r u gonna tell ppl to improve wen u don't eVEN post tracks? i dunno, i would rather get an oppinoin from a more balanced emcee, ya kno? but i guess u could still throw out youre oppinion w/o havin to get into the real characteristics... but i dunno.. not for me.. lol same thing as trips thread, cept he' prolly knows a lil more about marketablity ya feel me? no dissrespect

yea, word. LF be droppin' audio. lol got better wit every track she did. so be nice to see her new shit whenever she drop it. ~_~

nah im not gonna make an arguement outt of it, cuz freeposting is wack... but you do have to "prove" yourself,, i cant go up to shady records n say, im better than em, sign me a million dollar contract, it duznt work that way, you have to prove ya good, ppl arent gonna just beleive you...ur brail example i have no idea where ur goin w/ that... im just sayin, rappers learn lil tricks as they elevate, they have to go thru them to know about them tho ya kno? can b like, hit tha snares, warm up ya vocals b4 u spit, shorten syllabols... ect.... but i mean, ur just sayin she's judgin ppl's shyt.. but i just mean i would rather b judged by sum1 that has more experience than me.. n could probaly tell me sumn i dont know yet ya feel?

Even if she doesnt drop audio...id get feed of a text head...at the end of the day ur trying to push your music to anyone thatll listen to it...her opinion is jus as important as someone just listening and she can tell me what she feeling and what she aint...let her do her thang

Ps and yea omen u kno how i do wid tha n pen n panssaaal :cool:

yea, OMen, it doesn't matter. She didn't say she HAS to do this, or is forcing you. So really, if you ain't want her to Critique you, don't post then. Cuz she ain't sayin' she the best, she jus said whoever wants her to break your music down.

i already sended you my preview of track so get at me...this is a good idea

Lyrics....
Right off the bat, you are way too basic lyrically. stop/hot , giving/live in, close/go... Throw those out the window every 'Cat in the Hat' rhyme get rid of, burn and quick. I know it helps when hitting a snare, but you have to challenge yourself and you don't always have to hit the snare (but that doesn't concern you so we'll leave that alone here).

Voice/Presence...
Your voice is could appeal to young girls. Your presence is there. You don't just let your voice out, and you come off as very technical which leads me to delivery.

Emotion/Delivery...
You have this "hop then skip" type delivery. It's very, very annoying. Extremely annoying. This exactly what you do: You pronounce the majority of the syllables for each bar and add breath in them and finish it off breathing out the last syllables of each bar holdin the final syllable too long. Which makes it seem like you tryna ride the beat but you failed.

Flow...
You take the simple way out with your flow. Meaning you do what's predicted for the beat. You would need to switch it up in a song like this because you don't want to sound repetitive.




Lyrics...
Still basic. But not as horrible as the first track.

Voice/Presence...
You put some bass in your voice. It sounded fine at the start, but then it started sounding generic. I don't know if you were tryna match Triple N's tone from the first verse or what. But don't do that.

Emotion/Delivery...
It's that "hop then skip" delivery again. You really need to get outta that, asap.

Flow...
Simple again at the beginning you switched it up towards the end of your track. That is a good thing.




Lyrics...
Story-telling, which is different from the other tracks.. Basic. REALLY basic. Only 2 bars were unpredictable in the first verse. Every bar in the second verse were predictable except one where I couldn't make out what you said. Last verse you switched up your lyrics somewhat but towards the end the only words I heard was bitch, this, bitch, shit, bitch, bitch.. You use 'bitch' too much, it shouldn't be used as a rhyming word.

Voice/Presence...
You have the perfect voice for this track. Which disappoints me because your delivery is what's ruining it from being a hot track. There are a few parts where I hear you fade out in your verses.

Emotion/Delivery...
You haven't changed, but the "hop then skip" actually matches this beat... The only part I felt your Emotion was "You wack this SPuL bitch, talk that shit again.."

Flow...
Your flow is just like the other past songs.




Lyrics...
From the start, you on that basic stuff again.

Voice/Presence
You got the regular presence you normally do.

Emotion/Delivery...
You try to hard on this track to make someone believe you. That, I DON'T and doubt anyone else would. Your chorus emotion is extremely wrong. You sound like Jermaine Dupre... It's annoying tho. VERY ANNOYIN. You loosened up on the ''hop then skip'' thing. But you still have it there every now and then. But I'm glad you straying from it even a little bit.

Flow...
Decent. It's just like the other songs.


Lyrics...
This type of track is one you can get away with basic lyrics so this hit your field on the nail... but you shouldn't settle to this.

Voice/Presence
This is byfar the best song to match your voice. You could have little girls falling all over you with this one.

Emotion/Delivery...
You not dependin on the ''hop then skip'' thing, which is great. But you still holding the last syllables to your bars wayy too long. It sounds lame.

Flow...
Same as before.

You have a voice anybody could listen to. The thing that doesn't match up is your delivery and lyrics. You come off as a joke to people. You can't be taken serious due to those two. Your flow is pretty decent as is, you have the ability to switch it up when needed. What I recommend you work on first would be lyrics because your delivery follows up on that. You tend to let your delivery 'bounce' off your lyrics. Try a more complex rhyme scheme and then you can work on your delivery. Those two are most important when it comes to you, because you do have great potential.

*Special Note: Work on Solo Tracks more than collabs, why? Because you need to push yourself lyrically, every solo track should be an exercise for that.

lol word, I feel you on that shit. lately i been writing lot of topical type shit to help my lyrics, and yea, people say the shit about the delivery a lot, so I feel you.Been gettin' advice on that. but props for takin' the time yo. appreciate it. ~_~

Do me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL @ more experienced than you... Omen on a serious note NO ONE on here knows exactly where my level is. I'm not obligated to post anything on this site. It's by choice that anyone posts on here period. The fact that you came in here to talk shit and try to 'judge' me personally, is really stupid. No one on here knows me at all. I'm more towards the offline work than cribbing on here for feed. Why is that? Because I would love to hear what people around my area feels about my music especially since I'm tryna perform by next year if not sooner. I worked on flow and multis and you will see that soon enough. There are only maybe 6 people that heard my latest shit and that's L. Veracity, 9th Degree, Triple N and Virtue and I D H.. I ask them for their personal opinion because I'd rather not be buttered up on a site. They know me to a certain extent and hearing that something needs work here and there is perfect for me. Offside of them, I talk to people in my offline clique we critique each other when we do collabs, we read off verses back and forth and choose the best to be first. We might have to cypher if we think two should get first but other than that. I have my way of working and can't nobody tell me I'm working. Like you actually see me everyday.

Just cuz you don't see me post Songs in the Forum doesn't mean I'm under you. Triple N's best songs aren't even posted on the site. As well as a few other people, like S e n s e r.

I'm all about quality of songs than quantity. If you got a problem with me not posting yet, then go cry. Otherwise shuttup and watch me critique other people's then, since you won't be brave enuff to post your own shit. Or Just leave.

^no fool...Fiyah doing me next...:love:

Aight everyone that's lined up.. I got y'all in a certain order..

but i'll return in an hour or so with more breakdowns.. I'm gotta pack right now (I'm moving in a few days)

So I'll return and Omen (if you return talkin crazy) I'mma just ignore you. So go ahead if you ready to, I'll argue with you in a beef thread or something...

I'll be back soon. :thumbup:

you horny bastard. :nono: :cool:

^^ HI SPUL!!!!!!!!! :love:

Fiya sweetness. You make me wanna be the one with you with. Start a new relationship with you. This is what you do. *sidewalks out of thread* :love:

and come back from the move :(

what's good yo? You got AIM? we never did that collab shit we wanted too. lmao....

Aim: Barz Of Steel

Word, we need to collab yo :shoot:

lmao...................... *bows down to the future king* ;)

Lol verb. :thumbup:

Fiya one of them girls you ask why the fuck she even like you every minute you with her. :shoot:

break down my track Hey Joe

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204656

i can always use some pointers ....


www.soundclick.com/youngike

do like my first 3 songs...Appreciate it tons....BE HARSH ON ME!

COT DAMN!!! lol, did u not read tha parts where i said not to take it personally, its only an oppinion, ferreal i wasnt trna offend you, sorry if u took it tha wrong way lol... im not gonna argue... shyt is just immature... i was only sharing my perspective... n no im not gonna post my shyt up here cuz, i ferreal dont want n e ones feed, i mean i will listen to every1 that has sumn to tell me about my pros/cons... but mostly they dont break it down very well... only ppl that have actually helped me w/ my shyt by givin me good tips is trip/nawshus/senser/ even tha haters... hate is tha best feed you can get, cuz theyre gonna come down hardest.. just take that n work on it ya kno? but yea, good luck w/ tha breakdowns, n i hope to hear sum of ya new shyt sumtime...

http://www.ukhhf.co.uk/jamroom/leady

top one mainly cos all da rest are pretty old and half arsed

http://outspoken.dmusic.com/
just the song let me hold you :thumbup:

Acuity
 

Lyrics....
Aight your lyrics are very basic. First thing I checked was the face/place.. Veins/brains.. Rap/strap.. Use some multis now and then.. You tend to slur your words at times. I understand you, the accent isn’t an excuse. You just have to be more clear. Clarity is something you will have to take time and work on, I can see that easily.

Voice/Presence...
The way you jumped in your verse was just wrong, you came off like you were gonna rip it. You shoulda followed through. Your voice is outta place on this beat. Your presence is there but not.. When I say that I mean that you tryna let people know “this is you” but you not bringing the cockiness you start up with your lyrics.

Emotion/Delivery...
I don’t believe anything you say past the first 2 bars. Your emotion sounds artificial as though you tryna sound harsh on your verse just because the rest of the people did on their verses. You need your own shine to this that you didn’t bring correctly. And the way you delivered your verse shows that.


Flow...
Your flow is decent, you know how to keep up with this beat. But there are times you fall behind the beat gradually and then you try to catch up and end up slurring words at times.



Lyrics...
You stepped up your lyrics about 5 notches… Problem with it is that it sounds like you left your focus on the complexity of your words. That you might lose the common crowd. The farther you go on in your verse, however, you drop the super-dictionary bars.

Voice/Presence...
It sound like you have too many effects over your voice.. It’s like your voice is lifted off the track instead of blending in. Other than that, this was your “this is me” track.


Emotion/Delivery...
This is actually a track where I could be like damn, Acuity speaking from his mind on some real shit. You made your intentions known through your emotion. It wasn’t an aggressive “you gon’ hear me out’’ type thing, but it was a more of a “you think you know my ability, naw, here it is”. So, that’s what made me enjoy it.

Flow...
What’s shockin is your flow didn’t clash with the super-dictionary words. There’s a few places you couldn’t keep up with the previous bar. But overall the flow itself was pretty alright.



Lyrics...
Don’t just use big words to say you used big words in your rhymes.. They should have some reason in your rap. That’s why I hate this track. There’s no direction. You might as well say 2 words over and over again.

Voice/Presence...
Your clarity is better. Stop putting those effects over your voice.. They’re too heavy. It makes you sound weird at certain parts.

Emotion/Delivery...
Your emotion was similar to the previous track, but it got really boring. It’s bout time you switched it up. Sounds like you wrote this for any type of beat. Instead of tryna fit your rhymes custom to the beats in this track.

Flow...
Your flow was really off on this track. When I say that, I mean OFF… Seems like you didn’t know if you wanted to hit snares or not. And it’s hella annoying.



Lyrics...
Story-telling. Thank God, because you sound sooooooooo much better when you put a story to your tracks, than when you talk bout random shit. Your lyrics are pretty decent. I can tell you took some time to use the right words for this track.

Voice/Presence
This is not the type of beat I’d expect you to use. You pulled it off, when you showcased the bass in your voice for this ‘feather-light’ beat.

Emotion/Delivery...
The emotion was perfect for the beat. You didn’t need to show no screaming or yelling the effects pulled their own weight. The fact that you took the relaxed but alert approach on this beat made you come off as someone who knows what he’s talking bout. This is prolly my favorite by you.

Flow...
Flow was another thing that was pretty decent. There’s no hard snares in this but you followed the beat well. You sound more in contact with the beat on this song than any other song I’ve peeped.



I won’t critique a freestyle. But what’s funny is this sounds nothing like a freestyle at the beginning, but after the first 4 bars your flow is WAY off.


I’d suggest you write a track about something most important to you and make a story outta it. I know it sounds hard. I know you have the ability to tell a story. And your better lyrics come out that way. You gotta start picking beats that match your style. Not just because they sound good. You need beats that you can make your lyrics and flow custom to. Stray away from doing collabs until you feel comfortable with your style.

-edit-.................................................. ..............................

dat looks like u critted acuity and sum1 else at da same time???? cos a couple tracks named aint on acuities page lol but sum are

Which ones... I just checked his page all those are on there.. ~_~...

Get Da Fuck Back
...Mans Down...
One Drunk Night
Cradle of Rhymes
and the top Freestyle are the ones i peeped.

fiyas beautiful :love:

i dunno im tired as fuck loool

Who's giving LF an audio breakdown? Actually, i guess my post is more of a question LF: what's your credentials? Are you signed? You an A/R? Not attackin, just curious.

^No, Doomsday but a few people asked me to tell them what I think they need work on in another thread. So I just made a different thread to do so. :thumbup: I'm simply helping those or telling people how to elevate with things and tips I done to work on my audios. It's simply a feedback thread, Fiya-style, last time I checked I didn't have to be signed to tell someone my opinion on their tracks. And anyone can take this entirely the wrong way, if they want. I'm just letting out feed no bias, no hate, no bullshit.

yeah I hear what you're saying. I'm not attacking you by asking if you're signed or anything, I asked what your credentials are. Your answer is essentially "none". Just an opinions thread. Well, best of luck with that, hope people benefit from it.

Ill!
 

Lyrics....
Aight this gonna be the hardest for you. I can tell you’re used to writing cuz you have straight words not many pauses in your verse offside from the end of snares. You just keep going on and on… Which is okay until you start jamming too many words and rushing to finish up bars to hit snares. But the lyrics themselves, I can’t make out everything you say because you are wayyyy under the beat. From what I could hear; however, you have a really simple rhyme scheme. DO NOT worry bout switching up the rhyme scheme right at this moment.

Voice/Presence...
Great choice of beat for your voice. Your voice is light, this heavy beat sounds good under it. There is a problem tho, you have an extra weak presence. You don’t need to turn the volume up on your this, you‘re just too quiet, period.

Emotion/Delivery...
You need to get comfortable and stop being afraid to express what you say. Even people with light voices (Eminem), can get people to be shook up by their voices. You sound like you barely got your lines memorized. You don’t sound confident at all in this sample. Give yourself another day to memorize the lines first… then repeat it in front of a mirror as if you were recording and ask yourself would you believe the shit that’s coming outta your mouth. As you go on, you gotta gain confidence so others believe the words you present.

Flow...
Flow is not all about hitting the snares. You rushing your lyrics to hit snares. That’s not good at all. I can see if you were doing it while riding the beat. But if you can’t do it creatively, restrain from doing it in the first place. So DO NOT do it at this point.


Since I only critiqued one track you put up. This might not be valid to every track you do, but for this one. Your presence is what you should focus on. Let people hear you. Don’t hide behind the mic. That’s what you need to do first. Then, for Emotion and Delivery, feel your lyrics. Have them memorized don’t be in a rush to put out your verse and have it sounding like you are reading. Take your time and let the verse come out your mouth naturally. Once you got your presence and delivery to a certain confidence level, you can work on your lyrics and an appropriate rhyme scheme.

Lol... okay, Doomsday. :thumbup: *Goes back to what I was doing*