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Natural killa vs Tony Green
Battle Rules:
6 - 40 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Hate No d/r Topic-Streetz is callin Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 08-24-05 at 02:27 AM Must drop verse in 7200 minutes after check in. |
Tony Green has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-21-05 02:28 AM.
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*The Streets*
So you gone leave me like that I put money in your hand. When your dad wasn't around I taught you to be a man I was like a farther to you thats why I'm just sittin..... Here and amazed when You wanted to talk to me I listened. Never been baptisted but in the streets you was qristened. I gave you fresh gear nice kicks and chains that glistened. So I'm bout to deminish the thought of you leavin out my head. Cause it has to be a joke on the block thats gone bad...... *Tony Green* No joke its all true I'm done dealing with you. Tired of cops chasing me and scuffing up my tim boots. And yes I must admitt you did get me a few bills. And you talk about being my farther well you got him killed. I asked you bout jail you said "Tony thats never" I went from being a King to 76 like Webber.... And if you ever, try to hurt my family that'll be your last time. A boy from the Geto but can't play tricks on my mind. *The Streets* Okay the situation is frustrating it got me thinking. Of all the times I pulled you up and your ass was sinking Remember when they said you was bored, and robbed the chief of the lords. Made a call now that chief is no more....... If you so unsatisfied with the replies of my guys. Maybe you should realize you not workin 9-5. So when I tell you to do something NIGGA YOU BETTER DO IT. Cause mafucker I'm the streets I'm the boss of these children. *Tony Green* I laugh at you gettin loud......is that suppose to scare me. Cause if these bars haven't done it then you not doing it barely. You had me...and I was too dumb to acknowledge. That you was a road block from a diploma and college. Off the block I'm taking a walk, Tony Green is this you? No more rocks to stalk, Can we talk? nothing too.... I need the attention in my heart I'm ballin Now vanish from my head no more of the streets callings... |
Natural killa has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-22-05 05:23 PM.
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through all the profanity n insanity,I find life through my girlfriend
loving her to death,vowing to stay n protect her till the world's end her stunning beauty alone consumes me n sheltered me from rain laughter n meriment her gracious smile brings...conceals me from pain till one day,a 98' ford drove by n bought her demise wit a semi automatic i dropped down to my knees..it was to hard to believe,it was to traumatic from the distance I heard cops runnin n bristling n from fright i ran home lying on the bed,starin at the ceiling,repentin the feelin.....all alone closing my eyes,till a voice said i was sopposed to rise n gain revenge there was nutin in dis house,but a slut n her spouce,i had a war to attend i grabbed the heat,loaded it,stashed the cheese n went out the door stumbled on my mother sleepin so serene,but she was still a whore all the bitch did was pimp guys n spit lies while goin non-stop to court the evil n wicked streets,not her,bothered n gave me food n support i went outside n the frigid wind struck,n sent a shiver down my spine it was a clear night...a rare sight,down here,but settin's bound to lie street light the sole illumination...no cars around n hardly a sound,for now but once i deliever my anguish with this.....it'll be body's down to count the 98 ford caught my sight up the block,i said fuck the cops,they done i took a deep breath n ran full speed to them....busting shots from my gun 2 of them dropped n the others shot ,but i ain't stop,i'm gunnin the rest but suddenly,everything became fuzzy,n I felt a sudden pain in my chest i looked down n saw i got shot a couple times.i felt weak n fell to the ground residing on demise,i looked to the sky n saw my girl,n the pain melted around springin to my feet,reguvinated,knowin the boost's from her up in heaven the guys saw me rise n reloaded they gats with a agast expression outta desperation,they all bust shots after shot,hittin me,but no avial i stood transfix,i didn't budge then held my gun up n sent bullets in sail peircing them all in the pupils n puttiin them to the notorious eternal sleep i then stared down at the bloody corpes n heard sirens coming towards me even though vengeance was accomplished by me,it didn;t matter,we all lose lookin up at the sky once more,i saw her face,n i whispered,i'm coming to you i put the gun to my heart,hopin i done left my mark,n put one more shell in me mettin my tragic fate which provided life n death,the good ol' notorious streets w/e....I ain't no fuckin topical battler..... |
through all the profanity n insanity,I find life through my girlfriend
loving her to death,vowing to stay n protect her till the world's end her stunning beauty alone consumes me n sheltered me from rain laughter n meriment her gracious smile brings...conceals me from pain till one day,a 98' ford drove by n bought her demise wit a semi automatic i dropped down to my knees..it was to hard to believe,it was to traumatic from the distance I heard cops runnin n bristling n from fright i ran home lying on the bed,starin at the ceiling,repentin the feelin.....all alone closing my eyes,till a voice said i was sopposed to rise n gain revenge there was nutin in dis house,but a slut n her spouce,i had a war to attend i grabbed the heat,loaded it,stashed the cheese n went out the door stumbled on my mother sleepin so serene,but she was still a whore all the bitch did was pimp guys n spit lies while goin non-stop to court the evil n wicked streets,not her,bothered n gave me food n support i went outside n the frigid wind struck,n sent a shiver down my spine it was a clear night...a rare sight,down here,but settin's bound to lie street light the sole illumination...no cars around n hardly a sound,for now but once i deliever my anguish with this.....it'll be body's down to count the 98 ford caught my sight up the block,i said fuck the cops,they done i took a deep breath n ran full speed to them....busting shots from my gun 2 of them dropped n the others shot ,but i ain't stop,i'm gunnin the rest but suddenly,everything became fuzzy,n I felt a sudden pain in my chest i looked down n saw i got shot a couple times.i felt weak n fell to the ground residing on demise,i looked to the sky n saw my girl,n the pain melted around springin to my feet,reguvinated,knowin the boost's from her up in heaven the guys saw me rise n reloaded they gats with a agast expression outta desperation,they all bust shots after shot,hittin me,but no avial i stood transfix,i didn't budge then held my gun up n sent bullets in sail peircing them all in the pupils n puttiin them to the notorious eternal sleep i then stared down at the bloody corpes n heard sirens coming towards me even though vengeance was accomplished by me,it didn;t matter,we all lose lookin up at the sky once more,i saw her face,n i whispered,i'm coming to you i put the gun to my heart,hopin i done left my mark,n put one more shell in me mettin my tragic fate which provided life n death,the good ol' notorious streets w/e....I ain't no fuckin topical battler...... |
uppin NK do you realize you went off topic........
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Quote:
I ain't topical battler nigga....but w/e....I just type shit up... uppin... |
This was feedback posted for Tony Green
Damn the creativity was there,Nk you did good too..
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whatever yo but I did gain a drop of respect for you uppin...........
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This was feedback posted for Tony Green
Nice drop fam....Both had nice work....Checkin polls...an uppin this for fam!!
TriggaTownInc. is mos def in this Biz-itch! Hah still got my feed in here even tho' sumbody block'd me out...alias names are a muh'fucka aint it! ColdSteeL |
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uppin to the top.......................................
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Voted For: Tony Green
Tony Got this jus by sheer emotion seemed to have better vocab as well NK you tarted off good but got worse n worse n i think your new to topicals right???well work on focusing on the topic you seemed to go off tony you stayed on the topic and ya flow was good mostly seen it go off in a few places but w/e.....good wordplay and yu seemd to put more effort into it i thought yours made me think a lot more than nk's did N.K you seemed to jus throw random words in some of the time went off the topic a bit but good try...... Overall-Tony Green ,because of better wordplay and emotion good try nk pz...........1 rtf.....in this battle http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=205025 |
THanxx good lookin and I'll rtf........................
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Voted For: Natural killa
an ok battle, tony green.....ok first off the topic was kind of gay, i don't know who picked it but it is too basic and easy to do. but anyway, tony had a nice approach to the topic, nothing overly creative, the flow through the piece was nice, but the structure was kind of text-like (if you get that). anyway, the imagery of the piece seemed kind of 2-dimensional to me, it had picture to it so the reader can see what you are writing about and picture it, but for me it lacked emotion. the vocabs were ok, pretty basic though and you cud use to get more complex with that shit. overall i wud say 6/10 killa......had a more topical style to it, props on that considering you aint a topical writer, the structure was cool and the flow was nice.....u also had a decent approach to the topic but you cud've come a little more creative, the vocabs in ure piece were consistently basic after the first few bars, i thought you started well but fell off. and overall your piece lacked real emotion and imagery much like tony's....when it comes down to it both pieces were a little to 2-dimensional and basic to have any real impact. but kill, overall 6.5/10 the reason i give the win to killa is becuz both pieces as i said lacked in the same kind of things, but the one thing about tony's that threw me off is that its all gangsta talk and shit, and i get that it goes with the topic, but topicals are supposed to be about emotion and trying to draw a picture to the readers eyes, i felt that killa's piece did that more. V/ - Natural killa no hate at all.....:cool::thumbup: |
^^Whatever I can't see how he had more emotion than mine!
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Voted For: Tony Green
a good battle here..... natural killa- yours was a pretty consistent verse, nice structure, flow and vocab.....however it lacked depth and emotion....and that made it get a bit boring.....so incorporating these in your verse will help to keep it interesting....but overall not bad Tony Green- a nice verse, NK outshined you with the flow and the vocab however yours was creative enough to take the win and you kept it interesting for the reader throughout...there was some emotion in there too overall a good battle.....TG takes the win for creativity....... |
This was feedback posted for Tony Green
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Voted For: Tony Green
both had very good verses, natrual killaz was better structurized but i feel that tony green expressed his verse and stayed on topic a bit more....he had more emotional.....and kept the concept running...as for natural killa ur verse was up there too but it lacked the emotion...that tony had...v/tony green |
iight thanxx yall uppin to the top...................
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Voted For: Tony Green
Tony - nice format, I was feelin the idea of the streets talking to you, like a conversation. You had some metaphors, well used. Also, the flow was quite good, had a kinda rhythm to it, lines were not too long. Only real criticism is that you used pretty much simple words all throughout, gotta up that vocab. Killa - also not bad, but the whole storyline was kinda unoriginal. Also, your flow wasn't as good as Tony's, cos the two lines in a bar often had a vastly different syllable count, messing up the rhythm. Started off nicely with vocab, expression etc. but fell off and got simpler towards the end. So basically, vote goes to Tony leave an honest vote here: http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=205714 |
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Voted For: Tony Green
More Emotion, better structure, better vocab, more of a story..better written... |
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