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Daubs vs a k w o r d z
Rules Check-In's Due Wednesday Verses Due Friday Votes Due Sunday 3-0 is a K.O. Topic: Before the Great Collapse (in my pants) ~Good Luck to the Both of You.~ |
Check .
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"Rise of the Rebel"
ok? |
o_O Me and DQ are picking that, dog. I wonder if we can all use the same topic... :)
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checkin in....
it just says we can pick our own topic.... i interpret that as you pick whatever you want, and i'll do the same.... |
you both have to agree on a Topic...
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ok.... Daubs... get at me
AIM: akwordz we'll work something out |
I dont got aim, list 3-5 topics you like and il choose 1.
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"Hesitation By Every Step"
"All the Things She Said" "Runaway" "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" "Here I Go Again (On My Own)" "The Long Line" "Before the Great Collapse" |
"Before the Great Collapse"
Good luck. |
ok cool, you too man
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Before the Great Collapse Intro Before the big collapse, happiness reigned in our lives.. Women men and children, all famed with their pride.. The changes deprived, all our households become struck with terror.. Fuck the mayor and the president, they should have known better.. Anger Seeths through my body Now im really pissed..the first plane hit, the second nearly missed.. Innocent people taking holiday trips, disturbed by mindless terrorists.. Who live for violence and fight for a lost cause..they cant pause.. I dont need metaphors to express my frustration and hate.. All could have been different if only george bush had decided to wait.. You cant even call it fate, the shit is too complex, the world isnt safe.. Looking Back High security area? Well the impossible occured, our lives were stolen.. People widowed and left parentless, so cold...its like our souls are frozen.. See this shit on the news, people think its safe...it will never happen to me.. But how can we be so ignorant, when Bin Laded still roams free.. meh, about twin towers. |
Daubs Advances...........
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Reopened due to a confusion...I'm granting them an extension until 12:00 PM EST, which is server time.
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Them?, i already dropped...
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Okay, akwordz, whatever.
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SO, vote Daubs?
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Before The Great Collapse
before the great collapse wake up, how many days've passed, brain is lapsed massive lasorations, takin back everything that's past but stays, regaining space in my brain, everytime i pass it's just pain, lookin back at it, back then, all the magic we made,but the fact is im half a man, mostly rotten-wasted contomplatin how all this made us act, and why we're stayin body language always playin games with me, finally had enough, stopped talkin, outta options till i found you sobbin followed my heart, kept walkin, thought about it, left, but kept ponderin aint been callin 'r saw you for days,caught up in problems faught over false promises,watchin drama crawl between us, buildin up walls ... but keep lingering around.... what you talkin bout collapsin...why dont you think we're down? chah blah hah hanh.... bar minimum blah blah blah keyed, good luck akwordz |
safe
votes... |
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Daubs- Ok nicly done Daub.Not creative nor original. The Imaginary was ok could be upp a little bit and the emotion was ok also..you really need to get into the Topic and write it all out...There was no vocab so don't worry about that. The only problem with this verse was that you had a little detailed imaginary and Much being talked about in your verse.
Akwordz- Ok..This was weak...The imaginary wasn't very detailed it wasn't average it wasn't great it was weak. The Emotion wasn't there I couldn't feel anything in the your words. Vocab wasn' there which you don't really need it..But um the weakest category you've came in was Imaginary and Emotion plus devoloping a good creative concept. Your verse wasn't much entertaining and didn't interested me.. Conclusion- I felt that Duabs take this because he had a better detailed Imaginary and a little once of Emotion. Um..I didn't vote for akwords because he came completly out of Topic...It was boring it didn't really kept interested..The Concept wasn't very good too.. V/Daubs Daubs advances |
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