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Mystic Chaos vs chip
Battle Rules:
10-40 lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Topic-Knee Deep 3-0 tko no fucking bullshit....explained votes only..... Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 10-01-05 at 10:05 PM Must drop verse in 2880 minutes after check in. Win by 3-0 KO |
chip has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-30-05 04:40 PM.
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Mystic Chaos has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-01-05 11:56 AM.
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knee deep in this emancipation, chants of patients
wantin doctors or peace but no answers came in, wonderin will freedom really ring, we lost track of the bell, it's crackin' itself, this hope iz merely crack in itself, knee deep in our own self-hate and self-pity, contradictin ourselves and our morals cuz times iz shitty, single moms, why the check come slow but life move fast, and then try to make it, spendin money they don't have, knee deep, in this concrete jungle scared of the man, trained to swing from tree to tree on these streets like Tarzan, makin it day-to-day for today but tomorrow's different, cuz we're slowly learnin' that tomorrow is not a given...... |
Knee Deep Was deranged as a child, expections werent high Living on the cold streets, man its hard to get by Crack addict living alone, practically in a trash can Some knew me as the dealer, others as sebastian Subtely laying low, there is a warrant for my arrest Got my coke all set, ready to distrbute to the rest Pondering of my life, how I quickly chose my paths Neva went to school, Didnt graduate with my class Broken down bum livin the life everyone despises Standin alone on the corner, as a customer arises Lookin suspicious, as I ask him if he's with the cops Scorns me with his eyes,"I can assure that I'm not" So I fork the coke over, As he hands over 5 Lincolns Convinced he was a cop, fuck what was I thinking Counting my profit as I swiftly walk down the road "Im witht he police, your underarrest for selling coke" Astonished of what is happening, drop the coke n run Went from making money, to being a suspect # one Dropped from behind, cuffs ruffly placed on my wrist Being read my rights, the 5-0 played this out slick Sentenced 40 years to life, in the state penitentary First time ive been caught, starting in elementary Was free ballin my life, livin life day by day yo Now im in this shit KNEE DEEP for sellin that yayo My parents informed of this, they shed not 1 tear Visits not expected, after 4 months that was clear Late at night I think, then I slowly began to weep Not noticed by the people, not they got me Knee deep |
even though its at the top...uppin
and nice verse g'luck |
thanx playa same to u........... uppin............
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This was feedback posted for Mystic Chaos
you took this fam,
good luck to both. LL stand up. |
uppin fo votes yo................................................ .
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Voted For: Mystic Chaos
i like this it was more creative and interesting.. |
Voted For: Mystic Chaos
mystic made more sence to me...i could really get into this one..it was really deep... |
chill out with the bullshit unexplained votes........... nobody wants a win or loss like that.......
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mystic-your verse was well structure, it flowed well...i feel your imagery was shy...but ur emotion and storyline creativness made up for it.....your vocab wasnt the best....but it was still a nice gentle piece to read...i feel you had good creativenness...overall 7/10
- chip-your verse was short and hard to flow to, you need to fix your structure and make it flow better...ur vocab was good...and creativeness...though it was hard to clue pieces together..overall 6/10 V=mystic |
Chip-Your verse was short but sweet, i feel you used a good variety of vocab....it enhanced your verse.Problem with your verse is that its structured poorly...this is a problem, becuz now i can not get a good flow outa your verse.your concept to the topic was pretty good and meaning was well...overall 5/10
Mystic Chaos-Your verse was actually good. I feel like your structure was onpoint almost everyline. And the flow was tight.Your vocab could be upped a lot but your emotion deff. made up for that man. Your imagery was ok but you should up on that...your storyline kept me reading...overall 7/10 v/mystic chaos |
^that's a little better.......... but it's fucked up if the only thing y'all had against my piece iz that it wasn't centered on the screen.......... and i was within the bar limits, so my shit wasn't short......... imagine my shit iz centered, and then check the flow....... i know it's perfect, cuz i spit it to myself twice before i posted it......
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and lmmfao @ how fast the votes got "explained" after i was about to have the shit removed......... but ups to any explanation over none.........
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Voted For: Mystic Chaos
Mystic Chaos - Good spit man. You had good rhymes, and told a good story. Best Line - Was free ballin my life, livin life day by day yo Now im in this shit KNEE DEEP for sellin that yayo - Word. Worst Line - NONE Chip - Yours was decent, but you did do as many lines, and your rhymes wernt as thought out. Best Line - knee deep in our own self-hate and self-pity, contradictin ourselves and our morals cuz times iz shitty Worst Line - wonderin will freedom really ring, we lost track of the bell, it's crackin' itself, this hope iz merely crack in itself OVERALL - Mystic takes this easily. He had more lines, better rhymes and told a good story. Chip your spit was to plain. You should use more lines and more thought. Vote - MC |
thanks yo...thats a rap...3-0 tko.........................
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good battle MC......... wish i coulda got more to help me elevate further tho............
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Voted For: Mystic Chaos
Aiight Not Much To Really Break Down Here... But Ya, Myst Definately Took This. It Wasnt Even About Him Having A Better Verse Either, He Just Took Advantage Of The Allotted Lines While Chip Didnt At All. NIETHER Of You Had A Good Storyline At All Though. I Mean, Chip Had No Storyline Once So Every. And Myst Your Was Just Kind Of 'eh'. But Chip, Never Come Short Like That Again. The Way You Were Heading, Even Without The Storyline You Woulda Won. Cuz I Loved The Way You Placed Things Together. You Had More Of A Poetic Style That I Woulda Voted For Had You Used Like... 20-30 Lines. So Ya, Thats It. Please Return The Favor In Me And Sick.I.Am's Battle. |
This was feedback posted for chip
Why mother fuckers got to blacklist me for????????
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Voted For: chip
Chip-Well...a short,but nice peice nevertheless.Followed the topic well.Was one of those "topic right in our faces" ones...which is ok to do.I thought your flow was one of the best things ya had going.Stayed consistant throughout the whole thing.My opinion...ya should have made it longer...ya know...make it more desciptive 'n watnot so it'll stick to our heads.But then again...you didn't have any filler or nothing.Every line seemed to have relevance to the topic 'n shit.Props.Ur shit was original,and had more of a "song" feel to it as opposed to a "textie topical"..which is rare..so good job on that..But that part about tarzan 'n jungle wasn't good IMO.I wuzn't feeling that part. Mystic Chaos-Well...first off,ur peice was too cliche...the "tradegy" thing in topicals is quickly getting boring as we all see it coming.As soon as the read the line about "warrant for my arrest"....I automatically knew you had a tradegy peice right there.Make ur shit more creative.And also....I don't see what relevance the part about his childhood had on the story as a whole.So I guess that was filler.As opposed to Chip..your shit had a more "textie topical" feel to it as opposed to a "song" feel...if ya know what I mean?And filler is a no-no. Best thing you had,like Chip,was flow...ur flow has obviously improved a lot.Keep it up. Vote-Chip LIKE IT OR NOT....THAT IS MY HONEST OPINION....DON'T GET MAD...BE GRATEFUL I GAVE THAT MUCH FEEDBACK ~1~ |
alright, thanks for the honest feed........................
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This was feedback posted for Mystic Chaos
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Voted For: Mystic Chaos
mystic chaos-your verse was well structure, i feel that ur flow was your best feature...in this you had pretty good emotion..i think you expressed ur emotion throughout ur verse and made an impact on the reader..ur imagery is not quite the best but u still described your piece well....i think you had a poor storyline and that it could have been produced better....but overall i feel you had a pretty good drop overall 7/10 chip-your verse was dope...you had good vocab..good flow....probally your best feature...problems with this piece was line limit...if you expanded your piece and made it worth the while u woulda got the vote...but in not doing so..you didnt reach the readers climax of enjoyment...so overall...id say you had a pretty original and decent drop overall 6.5/10 v/mystic chaos |
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