Intermental - Twinkling Star (dedicated to my aunt...RIP Aunt Nas)
 

This song is dedicated to my Aunt Nas, she died when I was seven, one of my closest aunts, I felt I had to put it in song....

www.soundclick.com/intermental

"Twinkling Star"



http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=211022
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=210934

intro sounded like some disney music


after that...it was cool


I like how u have added dubbing to ur verses


lyrics were felt


flow/rhyme scheme cudda be more complex...but I feel that u were being real here

good

str8 track homie

I apreciate it dawg.......yea I know it could be more complex but it was real nah im sayin....thanks for the feed

get on msn man.

iite i hollered....yo upppp

upppin...................................

iite beat is kool.... emotion could be better for this type of track but its iite sounds lkike your trying to be angry but keeping quiet... don't worry bout your next door neighbour man jus belt it out... lyrics are nice man.... flow is pretty good.. nice track man i like it pz

apreciate that.........

upppin.........................

seems like u got a very nice flow dope beat mixed somee good emotion like te way u made ya voice in this man this may b one of ya best v good keep up

thanks..........

upppppppppp..................

uppppppppp..........

* listening as i drop feed *

beat intro is real good, i like this beat

flow is kinda choppy, could be better
emotion could be better too
lyrics are nice

not a bad track, still got work to do


Pz.
INF

The beat you use is pretty good, nice slow n a nice melody. Your flow is pretty good, the fact that you really keep on story is good, emotion could be upped. But theres somin that makes me ahte the sound of your voice, its not your voice actually its somin you do to make it sound better which doesnt make it sound better to me. anyway the track is pretty good i can see your comin along well.

1

I can hear the blatant and off-beat loop and cut points in the intro.

The beat's cool, but off-beat to it self. The sample is off beat from the bass and snare which destroyed the synchrnozitaion of the entire track and the loop point is about a second to a second and a half too soon, so it just sounds liek a skiping record, rather than a repeated melody. The quality on the track was 'mild' and its' the mic it self. The effects on the vocals were distracting and also made em sound kinda washed out, sorta liek a stretched casette or Video Tape would sound after some serious miles. The flow on it was jerky - sounds liek it was a poem that was put to a beat and the emotion in the delivery was flat, especially compared to the emotion in the lyrics. The fact that it was short and ended abruptly pretty much put the nail in the coffin for this track for me. As a track, it's bad from the beat to the delivery, althoguh the message is strong which is a shame.

- Apexx

I have a feeling you did not listen to the track.......hmmm because you mention a sample, aint no sample in the track and there is no message in the track it is what happend to my aunty

^ why u always ducking me on aim nigga?

yo this was really touching making me feel like making one about my GRANDMOM because she passed away i was actually feelin this!the lyriks were the strongest part but also the beat and the emotion!this is a hot track!keep it up homie and soon or later u gon be one of the noticed!and yo wanna collab<>? :thumbup:

You're a fuckin idiot. What you told us in your horrible song about your "aunty" was a message. How do you communicate to dumb motherfuckers like yourself. With a message. Look how specific that is. Na, I ain't even gonna argue with you because you know its' the truth, you just don't want to admit it publically.

Look "bruh" dont act like youre some hard ass veteran because you can write shit intellectual and all that and get all worked up on a opinion. I thought you were the 25 year old here....you should be an adult by now. And dont take out on me youre frustrations, because whenever it seems I make any sort of comment to you or about you, youre on the defensive, lighten up "dawg", aint you the one closest to the industry however youre on 24/7 beefing with kids, nah man I actually think you some mark ass fake...and I was stating my opinion...and also "sir" kindly check yo self.....

shit thats dope...could be longer.....
but quality is nice........just keep it up mayne

I apreciate dat...................